…Treavor hadn’t been making up that other meaning.
He wants to stop this. This tidal-wave confessional, this (pain) (sorrow) panic in the guy’s voice, in his eyes, holy fuck, Alice looks like he’s trying to crawl out of his skin. (And Treavor knows that feeling. And Treavor doesn’t want to see it, feels its panic sinking through him.) (And Treavor doesn’t want to see this guy so stricken. This guy who’s been really actually good to him this morning, last night. (Who told Treavor he could be safe here, any time here.))
(Is this real?)
This is real. This is an actual, true-as-facts falling apart and Treavor doesn’t know what the fuck to fucking do.
(He wants to help?)
He feels pretty fucking helpless. Feels his own expression turning shocked, confused, panicked, and yeah, okay, something like sad or like sorrowed, something like at a loss. Something like guilty. This guy was being good to him and Treavor just skated the fuck on by.
Nice fucking job, Treavor, jesus shit, it’s not like the signs weren’t there.
And yeah on one hand if someone puts an arm around you draws close to you maybe absolutely it makes sense to think you know what, maybe this is a flirt situation, an interested situation, but also if you’re Treavor Pendleton, that doesn’t really happen. Not with guys who’re being kind or careful. Not with anyone who’s being kind or careful.
And he works with this guy. And this guy’s tolerated him but like. Fuck else was Alice gonna do, given the men he works for, the precarious nature of any New York internship. And Treavor hadn’t given the guy much thought as anything beyond an irritant, and Treavor’d figured Alice was taking pretty much the same approach to him, and yeah the guy picked him up last night, brought him here, but the guy’s picked him up before and lots of people’ve picked Treavor up before, scraped him up at his brothers’ command, and.
And. It doesn’t matter, really. Because whatever Treavor thought, this right here is the truth the guy’s giving. And he can’t leave (he doesn’t want to leave) Alice stranded alone in it.
(This isn’t his business.)
(This is definitely his fucking business.
He’s not gonna just. Shake this off.) ]
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. It’s—
[ His hand’s moving to Alice shoulder, will hold there if Alice allows. (It doesn’t occur to Treavor that maybe touching the guy’ll make things worse. Or it doesn’t occur to him until he’s already reached out, and there’s not taking back the gesture, and it’s not like he wants to take it back, anyway.) If the guy doesn’t want his hand, the guy can shrug it off. Treavor’s watching; Treavor’s trying to pay attention, his aching head backgrounded in the face of this… this…
It’s a little catastrophic, is what it feels like.
Alice doesn’t seem a whole lot like he’s here, on solid ground. And if Alice has allowed Treavor to remain at his shoulder, Treavor’ll press his hold a little stronger. ]
Hey. Alice. It’s all right.
[ Treavor doesn’t know what he’s doing. Treavor doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he resorts to rambling, stumbling his way through some words, any words, trying to sort what Alice said and how Alice looks and what Treavor knows (and what Treavor feels, or maybe feels, or maybe that’s just a matter for later, it’s a lot to add to an already overloaded equation), looking for something, an answer to offer a little bit of calm, a little bit of something for Alice to hold onto.
(Shit. Shit, the guy’s worried he’s been caught hitting on a coworker, or… or? Something more to that sentence, that notion, though Treavor can’t find it.)
(…Did the guy say something about not telling the truth about those hookups he supposedly had? That’s a. Probably not a fun fucking thing to share.
Shit.) ]
I didn’t think you were. …Uh, I’m. Kind of. Fucking.
I didn’t catch on. I mean, I thought, maybe, but also. Uh. Insufficient evidence, or something. I’m not…
Like I said. Been a class-A dick to you. Been sitting here hungover on your couch.
[ You know what, you know what. If Treavor can’t get his words together about what he did or didn’t think, if he can’t tell Alice why it all right, he should at least, he can at least try to get the guy to calm down a little.
Because holy fuck, this guy’s gonna pass out if he keeps going like this. Gonna spiral toward a deeper and deeper mess, and it’s a lot like watching Sheldon slip into his own anxieties, and okay, okay, maybe Treavor doesn’t know much about giving people a hand when shit’s rough, but he can try this, at least. ]
Hey, hey, Alice. You’ve gotta breathe, okay?
[ If Alice allows, he’ll move his free hand to take one of Alice’s, an act of imploring, an attempt at calming the guy down. And he’ll press Alice’s hand if he can. ]
no subject
…No?
He doesn’t—
He didn’t.
…Treavor hadn’t been making up that other meaning.
He wants to stop this. This tidal-wave confessional, this (pain) (sorrow) panic in the guy’s voice, in his eyes, holy fuck, Alice looks like he’s trying to crawl out of his skin. (And Treavor knows that feeling. And Treavor doesn’t want to see it, feels its panic sinking through him.) (And Treavor doesn’t want to see this guy so stricken. This guy who’s been really actually good to him this morning, last night. (Who told Treavor he could be safe here, any time here.))
(Is this real?)
This is real. This is an actual, true-as-facts falling apart and Treavor doesn’t know what the fuck to fucking do.
(He wants to help?)
He feels pretty fucking helpless. Feels his own expression turning shocked, confused, panicked, and yeah, okay, something like sad or like sorrowed, something like at a loss. Something like guilty. This guy was being good to him and Treavor just skated the fuck on by.
Nice fucking job, Treavor, jesus shit, it’s not like the signs weren’t there.
And yeah on one hand if someone puts an arm around you draws close to you maybe absolutely it makes sense to think you know what, maybe this is a flirt situation, an interested situation, but also if you’re Treavor Pendleton, that doesn’t really happen. Not with guys who’re being kind or careful. Not with anyone who’s being kind or careful.
And he works with this guy. And this guy’s tolerated him but like. Fuck else was Alice gonna do, given the men he works for, the precarious nature of any New York internship. And Treavor hadn’t given the guy much thought as anything beyond an irritant, and Treavor’d figured Alice was taking pretty much the same approach to him, and yeah the guy picked him up last night, brought him here, but the guy’s picked him up before and lots of people’ve picked Treavor up before, scraped him up at his brothers’ command, and.
And. It doesn’t matter, really. Because whatever Treavor thought, this right here is the truth the guy’s giving. And he can’t leave (he doesn’t want to leave) Alice stranded alone in it.
(This isn’t his business.)
(This is definitely his fucking business.
He’s not gonna just. Shake this off.) ]
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. It’s—
[ His hand’s moving to Alice shoulder, will hold there if Alice allows. (It doesn’t occur to Treavor that maybe touching the guy’ll make things worse. Or it doesn’t occur to him until he’s already reached out, and there’s not taking back the gesture, and it’s not like he wants to take it back, anyway.) If the guy doesn’t want his hand, the guy can shrug it off. Treavor’s watching; Treavor’s trying to pay attention, his aching head backgrounded in the face of this… this…
It’s a little catastrophic, is what it feels like.
Alice doesn’t seem a whole lot like he’s here, on solid ground. And if Alice has allowed Treavor to remain at his shoulder, Treavor’ll press his hold a little stronger. ]
Hey. Alice. It’s all right.
[ Treavor doesn’t know what he’s doing. Treavor doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he resorts to rambling, stumbling his way through some words, any words, trying to sort what Alice said and how Alice looks and what Treavor knows (and what Treavor feels, or maybe feels, or maybe that’s just a matter for later, it’s a lot to add to an already overloaded equation), looking for something, an answer to offer a little bit of calm, a little bit of something for Alice to hold onto.
(Shit. Shit, the guy’s worried he’s been caught hitting on a coworker, or… or? Something more to that sentence, that notion, though Treavor can’t find it.)
(…Did the guy say something about not telling the truth about those hookups he supposedly had? That’s a. Probably not a fun fucking thing to share.
Shit.) ]
I didn’t think you were. …Uh, I’m. Kind of. Fucking.
I didn’t catch on. I mean, I thought, maybe, but also. Uh. Insufficient evidence, or something. I’m not…
Like I said. Been a class-A dick to you. Been sitting here hungover on your couch.
[ You know what, you know what. If Treavor can’t get his words together about what he did or didn’t think, if he can’t tell Alice why it all right, he should at least, he can at least try to get the guy to calm down a little.
Because holy fuck, this guy’s gonna pass out if he keeps going like this. Gonna spiral toward a deeper and deeper mess, and it’s a lot like watching Sheldon slip into his own anxieties, and okay, okay, maybe Treavor doesn’t know much about giving people a hand when shit’s rough, but he can try this, at least. ]
Hey, hey, Alice. You’ve gotta breathe, okay?
[ If Alice allows, he’ll move his free hand to take one of Alice’s, an act of imploring, an attempt at calming the guy down. And he’ll press Alice’s hand if he can. ]
Just. In, out, in, out?
It’s all right.