The silence after the shatter. Enri standing, staring not quite like a deer in headlights (if the deer can shift, can make itself a wolf and flicker back again, dual forms of terror and anger.)
A single, outraged thought: He has no right. (Swiftly following: He has every right.) (Does he?) (No one has a right to come between him and his Da-(Darius!)) (His god. His world.) He blinks away the deluge of thoughts, his brows knitting.
The command hits like a blow and he visibly recoils from his confusion (from Morgan), lips drawn back from his teeth and fists clenching (he knows not to attack this man his father Morgan who is stronger who can be cruel who has never been cruel to him but he possesses capacity he is dangerous) (he has no right, he has no fucking right to give orders like Enri is a wayward child (a puppy.))
There were times during their visits to Iowa when Morgan would issue a command, and of course. Of course Enri obeyed. Even when Felix turned sour-faced, and argumentative, Enri (desperate to please Morgan) (hoping this time it would mean they'd stay, or take the boys with them) obeyed. (It was always after, as they were leaving, that he threw his worst tantrums. That he broke furniture, threw stones, once ran himself at the car taking his parents from him. He had believed that the Best Behavior would somehow change their minds.
He was always disappointed.)
He always obeyed.
He doesn't obey now.
His expression bears kin-familiar malevolence, accusation, defiance. ((They abandoned him)) ((Daddy didn't abandon him.)) ((Only Daddy can tell him what to do.) (Daddy told him to stay and he didn't stay and he's going to be so disapproving, so unhappy with his Puppy.)) (Darius, he needs Darius, he needs Darius, he needs-) (-to do what he's told-) (-by Daddy-) (-by his father.)
He thinks -
You fucking prick.
His face reddens with rage both impotent and not (he is an adult) (he's in the goddamned Army, he's been to war zones) ((everyone's a deserter) (maybe not Darius, who will drag him through hell and agony, who will leave his signature across Enri's skin in blood and purple bruises, but who will (for a week) keep him. Loyal to his Puppy.)) The veins of his arm cord with a violently clenched fist, his mouth setting a hard line.
(This is his father.)
(He loves his father.) (Or the idea of his father.)
(He loves Darius.) (Or the idea of Darius.)
What does it come down to. He obeys them both.
(Who hasn't left him (yet) (because everyone's a deserter in the end)?)
Where does he want to be?
Morgan (is his father, he needs to think this through, he needs to be calm-) (Darius said stay and he didn't stay, he'll think Enri abandoned him, fuck fuck fuck-) -
Morgan has no fucking right.
He can't make the word come. He can't form it with his tongue, but slowly, he shakes his head. No.
no subject
A single, outraged thought: He has no right. (Swiftly following: He has every right.) (Does he?) (No one has a right to come between him and his Da-(Darius!)) (His god. His world.) He blinks away the deluge of thoughts, his brows knitting.
The command hits like a blow and he visibly recoils from his confusion (from Morgan), lips drawn back from his teeth and fists clenching (he knows not to attack this man his father Morgan who is stronger who can be cruel who has never been cruel to him but he possesses capacity he is dangerous) (he has no right, he has no fucking right to give orders like Enri is a wayward child (a puppy.))
There were times during their visits to Iowa when Morgan would issue a command, and of course. Of course Enri obeyed. Even when Felix turned sour-faced, and argumentative, Enri (desperate to please Morgan) (hoping this time it would mean they'd stay, or take the boys with them) obeyed. (It was always after, as they were leaving, that he threw his worst tantrums. That he broke furniture, threw stones, once ran himself at the car taking his parents from him. He had believed that the Best Behavior would somehow change their minds.
He was always disappointed.)
He always obeyed.
He doesn't obey now.
His expression bears kin-familiar malevolence, accusation, defiance. ((They abandoned him)) ((Daddy didn't abandon him.)) ((Only Daddy can tell him what to do.) (Daddy told him to stay and he didn't stay and he's going to be so disapproving, so unhappy with his Puppy.)) (Darius, he needs Darius, he needs Darius, he needs-) (-to do what he's told-) (-by Daddy-) (-by his father.)
He thinks -
You fucking prick.
His face reddens with rage both impotent and not (he is an adult) (he's in the goddamned Army, he's been to war zones) ((everyone's a deserter) (maybe not Darius, who will drag him through hell and agony, who will leave his signature across Enri's skin in blood and purple bruises, but who will (for a week) keep him. Loyal to his Puppy.)) The veins of his arm cord with a violently clenched fist, his mouth setting a hard line.
(This is his father.)
(He loves his father.) (Or the idea of his father.)
(He loves Darius.) (Or the idea of Darius.)
What does it come down to. He obeys them both.
(Who hasn't left him (yet) (because everyone's a deserter in the end)?)
Where does he want to be?
Morgan (is his father, he needs to think this through, he needs to be calm-) (Darius said stay and he didn't stay, he'll think Enri abandoned him, fuck fuck fuck-) -
Morgan has no fucking right.
He can't make the word come. He can't form it with his tongue, but slowly, he shakes his head. No.