And I’m glad you told me. Honoured, rightly spoken. Fuck if I’m running out on you for telling what’s happened to you, or any piece of what you’ve been
I won’t say it wasn’t hard hearing. I’m also thinking the trouble’s not what you’d’ve been thinking.
Don’t know that I’ve ever met a more remorseful man, nor one whose reproaches for himself so blatantly outweighed the offense.
This about atonement, Talik.
You’re caught up on this one time action you once took, and I won’t say it was a pretty one nor that you need hearing as much, sounds like you know the fuck of it too well. I also can’t say, won’t say it’s anything world ending, nor worth holding as an albatross around thine neck.
You own what you did, that’s one thing. Sounds as though you’d not for the world do it again. Sounds as though violence of that sort’s never been a defining feature in you, nor been repeated.
We’ve all of us done some foul shit, yeah? Many worse than what you’ve said, speaking relatively or objective. Doesn’t excuse what it is we’ve done, but as well doesn’t mean living crushed by it daily. Doesn’t mean giving your life over to its shadow. (This I mean about interactings done one to one or a few to a few. Large scale atrocities, that’s another subject and one’s that’s not for the moment nor relevant at all.)
Not sure you’re giving yourself space to see the causes rightly. Not by way of excuse, but say explanation? Explication, looking outside of your own recriminating to what else was in play. Has been in play. And what she did to begin with.
She knows precisely what the fuck she’s doing, that one, doesn’t she?
You loved her. Loved her or thought you did, and belief in love is, at the least, very like the thing itself. Fact is you felt about the woman enough to stake happiness with her, marry her for sake of that love. Believed in her and I’d warrant placed trust in her, that so?
[ … ] You don’t strike me as a man to love lightly. Feeling like that turns killing when it’s torn from inside out. Shattering love that’s been is hard enough to take. Discerning it wasn’t there or wasn’t what you thought from the start [ … ]
Talik. That’s unbearable. It’s tragedy, is what it is, and nothing you could’ve deserved.
She betrayed you, that’s the fact of it far as I’m hearing.
Truth be told, feels wrong to even cramp it into terms so succinct. Makes my own skin crawl, and I’ve not lived it. [ … ] Care about you, though, that I do. And saying I’m pissed to fuck with her’s understating a fact.
Not asking you to speak ill of her if you don’t wish to, or can’t, and maybe I myself don’t have the right to speak ire her way, though I’d argue there’s some cause. Thing is, hearing it from outside, told where blame’s placed square on you, still it sounds like there’s greater sins in other corners.
Step back, yeah? From where I’m sitting, there’s her infidelity in [ … ] what sounds like your own home. There’s her taking all she can from you, and keeping sure you stick around. And there’s that [ … ] Vitaly, there’s the terms you mentioned, this agreement for Sergiy before he was born. [ … ] ’Lost’ the first, you said, and it’s clear she knows what’s likeliest to bleed you. Guilt you Think I can guess the shape those terms took. Think I can guess how they were put forth to you.
It ain’t right. None of it is.
…There’s a thought I [ … ] Said you put it in writing. The wording of itWhat I mean to say’s [ … ] you two did the deed at some point to get to a child, and might be there’s something in that contract would
Seems you’re the only one thinking on atonement in the least.
Seems as well you’re the one with the least for atoning.
[ … ]
It’s rotten, Talik. Been rotting in you, hasn’t it?
[ … ]
I’m glad you’ve spoke it. And [ … ] not to say I don’t appreciate your sharing or value that you’ve told me, also not to push you one way or any other, only [ … ] might be good to speak of it elsewhere, as well. With Sen, Darius, whoever. To see you aren’t the villain in it all you’ve framed yourself to be. To get it further outside yourself, so it isn’t choking you entire. Shite like this’s nothing you should bear alone.
Well, but. Speak it elsewhere or no, it’s nothing you’ll be bearing any longer alone. Here with you, here for you.
I’m here for you, Talik, and that’s nothing changing.
1/3
Meant what I said, I’m with you still.
And I’m glad you told me. Honoured, rightly spoken. Fuck if I’m running out on you for telling what’s happened to you, or any piece of what you’ve been
I won’t say it wasn’t hard hearing. I’m also thinking the trouble’s not what you’d’ve been thinking.
Don’t know that I’ve ever met a more remorseful man, nor one whose reproaches for himself so blatantly outweighed the offense.
This about atonement, Talik.
You’re caught up on this one time action you once took, and I won’t say it was a pretty one nor that you need hearing as much, sounds like you know the fuck of it too well. I also can’t say, won’t say it’s anything world ending, nor worth holding as an albatross around thine neck.
You own what you did, that’s one thing. Sounds as though you’d not for the world do it again. Sounds as though violence of that sort’s never been a defining feature in you, nor been repeated.
We’ve all of us done some foul shit, yeah? Many worse than what you’ve said, speaking relatively or objective. Doesn’t excuse what it is we’ve done, but as well doesn’t mean living crushed by it daily. Doesn’t mean giving your life over to its shadow. (This I mean about interactings done one to one or a few to a few. Large scale atrocities, that’s another subject and one’s that’s not for the moment nor relevant at all.)
Not sure you’re giving yourself space to see the causes rightly. Not by way of excuse, but say explanation? Explication, looking outside of your own recriminating to what else was in play. Has been in play. And what she did to begin with.
She knows precisely what the fuck she’s doing, that one, doesn’t she?You loved her. Loved her or thought you did, and belief in love is, at the least, very like the thing itself. Fact is you felt about the woman enough to stake happiness with her, marry her for sake of that love. Believed in her and I’d warrant placed trust in her, that so?
[ … ] You don’t strike me as a man to love lightly. Feeling like that turns killing when it’s torn from inside out. Shattering love that’s been is hard enough to take. Discerning it wasn’t there or wasn’t what you thought from the start [ … ]
Talik. That’s unbearable. It’s tragedy, is what it is, and nothing you could’ve deserved.
She betrayed you, that’s the fact of it far as I’m hearing.
Truth be told, feels wrong to even cramp it into terms so succinct. Makes my own skin crawl, and I’ve not lived it. [ … ] Care about you, though, that I do. And saying I’m pissed to fuck with her’s understating a fact.
Not asking you to speak ill of her if you don’t wish to, or can’t, and maybe I myself don’t have the right to speak ire her way, though I’d argue there’s some cause. Thing is, hearing it from outside, told where blame’s placed square on you, still it sounds like there’s greater sins in other corners.
Step back, yeah? From where I’m sitting, there’s her infidelity in [ … ] what sounds like your own home. There’s her taking all she can from you, and keeping sure you stick around. And there’s that [ … ] Vitaly, there’s the terms you mentioned, this agreement for Sergiy before he was born. [ … ]
’Lost’ the first, you said, and it’s clear she knows what’s likeliest to bleed you. Guilt youThink I can guess the shape those terms took. Think I can guess how they were put forth to you.It ain’t right. None of it is.
…There’s a thought I[ … ]Said you put it in writing. The wording of itWhat I mean to say’s [ … ] you two did the deed at some point to get to a child, and might be there’s something in that contract wouldSeems you’re the only one thinking on atonement in the least.
Seems as well you’re the one with the least for atoning.
[ … ]
It’s rotten, Talik. Been rotting in you, hasn’t it?
[ … ]
I’m glad you’ve spoke it. And [ … ] not to say I don’t appreciate your sharing or value that you’ve told me, also not to push you one way or any other, only [ … ] might be good to speak of it elsewhere, as well. With Sen, Darius, whoever. To see you aren’t the villain in it all you’ve framed yourself to be. To get it further outside yourself, so it isn’t choking you entire. Shite like this’s nothing you should bear alone.
Well, but. Speak it elsewhere or no, it’s nothing you’ll be bearing any longer alone. Here with you, here for you.
I’m here for you, Talik, and that’s nothing changing.