Deforest first, if only to get this terrible subject out of the way. I dislike mingling his name with any talk of Nova or Enri.
[...]
I do know about him and Sheldon. We still speak; we're still friendly. It wasn't his fault, what happened - nor was it mine, save that those were my people. The fucking press, they did wrong by him and I've told him so many times.
Anyhow, it wasn't meant to be. I didn't feel for him the way I thought I should, or would have liked to. I didn't feel for him after a year anything like I feel for Nova after only a week.
I regret this still; he deserves goodness.
I don't think that goodness is what he has in Deforest, but I refrained from mentioning any of this to Sheldon. I didn't tell him about Madeline; perhaps I should have done so.
[...]
Deforest -
No, nothing should be said to him.
Let him have my fucking leftovers. He won't have anything more from me - not even thought. Not time, not emotion.
Certainly not money. I assume that a good deal of that has been funneling into his pocket.
So, whatever you do with him, don't concern yourself with my feelings. I have none, not about him.
[...]
Well, why should I, eh? Maybe he saved me by showing me what she is. Maybe the rest was only a matter of the time that lay between the scales falling from my eyes and the first speaking with Nova.
If I'd been more loyal to Madeline, I wouldn't have continued that conversation.
It isn't forgiveness, but it's cause to ignore him.
And - I think a conservatorship is probably a fine idea. I know you feel bound to him out of fraternal obligation; if things are as troubled as they seem, this is best for your sanity.
1
[...]
I do know about him and Sheldon. We still speak; we're still friendly. It wasn't his fault, what happened - nor was it mine, save that those were my people. The fucking press, they did wrong by him and I've told him so many times.
Anyhow, it wasn't meant to be. I didn't feel for him the way I thought I should, or would have liked to. I didn't feel for him after a year anything like I feel for Nova after only a week.
I regret this still; he deserves goodness.
I don't think that goodness is what he has in Deforest, but I refrained from mentioning any of this to Sheldon. I didn't tell him about Madeline; perhaps I should have done so.
[...]
Deforest -
No, nothing should be said to him.
Let him have my fucking leftovers. He won't have anything more from me - not even thought. Not time, not emotion.
Certainly not money. I assume that a good deal of that has been funneling into his pocket.So, whatever you do with him, don't concern yourself with my feelings. I have none, not about him.
[...]
Well, why should I, eh? Maybe he saved me by showing me what she is. Maybe the rest was only a matter of the time that lay between the scales falling from my eyes and the first speaking with Nova.
If I'd been more loyal to Madeline, I wouldn't have continued that conversation.
It isn't forgiveness, but it's cause to ignore him.
And - I think a conservatorship is probably a fine idea. I know you feel bound to him out of fraternal obligation; if things are as troubled as they seem, this is best for your sanity.