I've been listening for a few months to the way she talks to you. I don't think I heard the worst of it until that phone call, and I -
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Look at me, still trying to be polite about "the missus" so I avoid making things uncomfortable. That's going to take some time. Christ.
It's fucked. The whole thing was fucked, how she treated you was fucked, and I shouldn't have let it go on the way I did. I should've said something like I'm saying now, because I can see where she got in your head. Made you think you're a man and you've got to live up to some kind of weird, precise notion of manhood that only she understands.
Even if you were a man, Desmond, that was some abusive shit.
But look at it from the outside, okay? Say it was me, and she was trying to run the "beast" out of me and make me a "good man". How would you have felt about that, knowing I am what I am? Or even not knowing that at all. Would you have thought she was doing any kind of good thing there?
Hey, did you ever even have a conversation with her in all that time that wasn't her asking for something, or her constructing an elaborate fantasy about your future and lives together, or her berating you? I didn't hear it, if so, and I was around a lot.
Okay. Got that off my chest a little.
Now you gotta listen to me.
You're not human. In the place before here, you didn't smell it at all. You didn't look it, or act like it, or live like it.
You want to think of it as being trans-species, I'm okay with that, but if you were transgender, we wouldn't be talking about what you were born as, would we?
I don't know what you were, but it was rare and beautiful, and if a wolf refused to kill you because of that, she had no right to come in and try to stomp it out of you like she's running some half-baked conversion therapy.
You are what you are, and it's something perfect. More than that, it's obvious you loved it. You chose it. I think you still do love it.
I'm not letting her take it away from you, and I'm definitely not letting you take it away from yourself.
1/2
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Look at me, still trying to be polite about "the missus" so I avoid making things uncomfortable. That's going to take some time. Christ.
It's fucked. The whole thing was fucked, how she treated you was fucked, and I shouldn't have let it go on the way I did. I should've said something like I'm saying now, because I can see where she got in your head. Made you think you're a man and you've got to live up to some kind of weird, precise notion of manhood that only she understands.
Even if you were a man, Desmond, that was some abusive shit.
But look at it from the outside, okay? Say it was me, and she was trying to run the "beast" out of me and make me a "good man". How would you have felt about that, knowing I am what I am? Or even not knowing that at all. Would you have thought she was doing any kind of good thing there?
Hey, did you ever even have a conversation with her in all that time that wasn't her asking for something, or her constructing an elaborate fantasy about your future and lives together, or her berating you? I didn't hear it, if so, and I was around a lot.
Okay. Got that off my chest a little.
Now you gotta listen to me.
You're not human. In the place before here, you didn't smell it at all. You didn't look it, or act like it, or live like it.
You want to think of it as being trans-species, I'm okay with that, but if you were transgender, we wouldn't be talking about what you were born as, would we?
I don't know what you were, but it was rare and beautiful, and if a wolf refused to kill you because of that, she had no right to come in and try to stomp it out of you like she's running some half-baked conversion therapy.
You are what you are, and it's something perfect. More than that, it's obvious you loved it. You chose it. I think you still do love it.
I'm not letting her take it away from you, and I'm definitely not letting you take it away from yourself.