ultimatenegative: expect the end of the world. (laugh. laughter is immeasurable)
Senan Wilkes ([personal profile] ultimatenegative) wrote in [community profile] kingdomsofrain 2021-04-05 11:36 pm (UTC)

Shan't.

I haven't mentioned your peculiar situation to them. (Yet.) Someone needs to coddle you in the meantime.

Right.

I'm evoking verbum rea. As you'll recall, on September 13, 2003, all parties involved in the non-fatal stabbing and (thankfully) similarly non-fatal arson, signed a cocktail napkin - which is as of this moment sitting in a safe deposit box in New Jersey. Need I remind you of the terms?

This is how we keep our chaos in check, Darius, my dear. One may at any time, once per year, demand absolute veracity from either of the other two signatories.

In other words: I'm cashing in my annual.

And I have two unused chits for the past twenty-four months, so you might as well resign yourself to the possibility of follow-up questions.

And if you refuse to answer, I'm legally permitted - nay, obliged! - to hunt you down and set your prick on fire.

[...]

Be honest now.

[...]

Have you got a crush on your doggy?

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