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"I guess wandering's in my blood." Or rather Zenigata's. On occasion Oscar does wonder what it would be like if he stayed in one place for more than a couple weeks. But he dismisses it. The home of his birth is probably a burned wreck, and he thinks that no place would accept a person like... him. So flawed, so defective as a wastelander. When he and Zenigata split, Oscar may have sobbed the entire way to the next town.
He cut out the one person that accepted him, even if sometimes he doesn't understand him. All because he lost control...
In response to Joshua's question... "You want me to be honest? It's crowded, and it makes me nervous. I never really liked cities. Plus New Vegas is filled with things I don't understand and sometimes I don't want to."
There has never been a shortage of wanderers in the Mojave. Joshua understands the impulse - a joy in the possibility that lies ahead, a fondness for meeting new sights, an inability to call any place one place home - and had felt it himself for years. Or had felt something similar: an ungroundedness, a feeling of existing most clearly in movement. When he reached Zion, that feeling finally flickered away. Had been draining bit by bit since he was accepted in New Canaan, and finally (mostly) left him. Finally allowed him to feel that he had found a home.
His voices softens almost imperceptibly, a shift few might register, a shift that almost, almost suggests the edge of a smile. “Your feelings match my own. I dwell outside of any city of major settlement, and have grown unused to so much company. I’m told this city has its uses, but it isn’t for everyone.
“You may sit, if you’d like.” He gestures toward the chair across the table. The Courier still hasn’t arrived, after all, and it’s unkind to make the boy stand under a barrage of questions.
It's truly something strange for a Living (and still very much feared) Legend being nice to a relative stranger and offering him a chair to sit in. But Oscar takes the chair, it's rare for him to have a good conversation with someone he's just met.
"It's very good for trade, which I'm here for. But aside from that I really don't know how to spend my time here. Some wanderer am I, I'm a stick in the mud."
And he doesn't know where to go after this, stay West to California like Zenigata planned? Go east to Utah? Maybe go further north? He doesn't know... he doesn't know.
And it's rare for this Living Legend to invite anyone to sit with him outside of Zion, but Joshua senses no ill-intent in the boy, and even outside of Zion, it is his duty to give comfort and welcome where he can.
"You're a trader." It's on the edge of being a question, and there's a subtle hint of approval in Joshua's voice. "It can be a hard life." The boy must be more enduring than he appears at a glance, and seated so close, Joshua can see the resilience written in his face, the ways experience has marked him.
"Do you belong with a particular caravan?" He asks partly because he suspects that the boy may be traveling alone, or nearly alone. He seems too adrift to be attached to any outfit, nor does he seem like he spends much time around other people.
Surely enough, when looked at closely there are calluses on his graceful hands that could only come from constantly holding a gun, his small body coming from a lifetime of running, his eyes are shadowed from a lack of sleep, (He's traveling alone for the first time in the wasteland, he will not bother with sleeping on the road alone, it is a risk.) and a manner that suggests he not only keeps his distance with customers a lot but also most people.
Despite all this, there's an undercurrent of earnest youthful purity within him, a desire for something bigger than him, bigger than the wastes. To find something pure and shining in this dust to hold on to.
He shakes his head. "No. There's no organized caravan's that wander in from places from east and far east, but I think that might change." He'd read that before the war, cities were often in trade with one another, maybe the regions were finally becoming less isolated.
"But really I'm just a wanderer with more things on my back."
"The road is long with company. Taken alone, it is interminable." He hasn't taken his eyes from the boy, though his mind remains partly with the yet-absent Courier. It's like her to be late, but perhaps it's for the best; he's beginning to feel as if he was meant to meet this boy.
The road is long with company, taken alone it is interminable. Internally it hits him that from now on, he will walk alone in the wastes. Forced to deal with every trial and tribulation alone and dealing with the vast, endless stretch of road alone and lonely. This, he feels is his price for doing things his own way.
It's what I deserve... it's what he deserves.
There's a part of Oscar that wants to tell the Legendary stranger that he wasn't alone until recently. He still figures that he shouldn't tell him about Zenigata, it's still very much none of his business and... well. He's had an intense stare, his eyes such a vivid light blue they practically burn with destructive fire. But the way Joshua is looking at him right now... his eyes are gentle, still burning brightly, but with something that warms, that nurtures life instead of destroying it.
Oscar doesn't want it to stop for any reason, wants to held in that gaze for as long as possible. (And he doesn't know why.)
There’s something in the boy’s expression, a hesitation and a struggle and behind it all perseverance. Something enduring, an obstinacy Joshua knows well. This is the face of a young man who has come far and been put through a trial recently, who may still be in its midst.
(There’s something else in those eyes, too. Something he’s seen often, something like adoration, a willingness to stand beside. Joshua notes this only in the back of his mind, hardly admitting it to himself, let alone considering its consequences.)
“Even so, it isn't everyone who can survive the wastes alone.
I mean... I've only been on the road alone for a month. He counts himself really lucky he's had to shoot few people on the way to New Vegas. Creatures, maybe.
From the outside, it seems really really foolish to tell this stranger that still has the aura of danger to him by reputation alone important details about his trip but Oscar strangely feels like he has to. If he's a fool for being starstruck, then fine. He'll deal with the consequences later if they ever come.
"Don't tell anyone this, but I haven't really planned ahead of New Vegas. I was thinking about going west to California. But I'm not so sure right now. There was all sorts of things on the road to this place. Who knows what I might run into. But for now I'll just rest for a while, trade and try to find my bearings here while I make that next decision."
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no subject
He cut out the one person that accepted him, even if sometimes he doesn't understand him. All because he lost control...
In response to Joshua's question... "You want me to be honest? It's crowded, and it makes me nervous. I never really liked cities. Plus New Vegas is filled with things I don't understand and sometimes I don't want to."
no subject
His voices softens almost imperceptibly, a shift few might register, a shift that almost, almost suggests the edge of a smile. “Your feelings match my own. I dwell outside of any city of major settlement, and have grown unused to so much company. I’m told this city has its uses, but it isn’t for everyone.
“You may sit, if you’d like.” He gestures toward the chair across the table. The Courier still hasn’t arrived, after all, and it’s unkind to make the boy stand under a barrage of questions.
no subject
"It's very good for trade, which I'm here for. But aside from that I really don't know how to spend my time here. Some wanderer am I, I'm a stick in the mud."
And he doesn't know where to go after this, stay West to California like Zenigata planned? Go east to Utah? Maybe go further north? He doesn't know... he doesn't know.
no subject
"You're a trader." It's on the edge of being a question, and there's a subtle hint of approval in Joshua's voice. "It can be a hard life." The boy must be more enduring than he appears at a glance, and seated so close, Joshua can see the resilience written in his face, the ways experience has marked him.
"Do you belong with a particular caravan?" He asks partly because he suspects that the boy may be traveling alone, or nearly alone. He seems too adrift to be attached to any outfit, nor does he seem like he spends much time around other people.
no subject
Despite all this, there's an undercurrent of earnest youthful purity within him, a desire for something bigger than him, bigger than the wastes. To find something pure and shining in this dust to hold on to.
He shakes his head. "No. There's no organized caravan's that wander in from places from east and far east, but I think that might change." He'd read that before the war, cities were often in trade with one another, maybe the regions were finally becoming less isolated.
"But really I'm just a wanderer with more things on my back."
no subject
"The road is long with company. Taken alone, it is interminable." He hasn't taken his eyes from the boy, though his mind remains partly with the yet-absent Courier. It's like her to be late, but perhaps it's for the best; he's beginning to feel as if he was meant to meet this boy.
"You are brave to have survived so far, child."
no subject
It's what I deserve... it's what he deserves.
There's a part of Oscar that wants to tell the Legendary stranger that he wasn't alone until recently. He still figures that he shouldn't tell him about Zenigata, it's still very much none of his business and... well. He's had an intense stare, his eyes such a vivid light blue they practically burn with destructive fire. But the way Joshua is looking at him right now... his eyes are gentle, still burning brightly, but with something that warms, that nurtures life instead of destroying it.
Oscar doesn't want it to stop for any reason, wants to held in that gaze for as long as possible. (And he doesn't know why.)
"I try."
no subject
There’s something in the boy’s expression, a hesitation and a struggle and behind it all perseverance. Something enduring, an obstinacy Joshua knows well. This is the face of a young man who has come far and been put through a trial recently, who may still be in its midst.
(There’s something else in those eyes, too. Something he’s seen often, something like adoration, a willingness to stand beside. Joshua notes this only in the back of his mind, hardly admitting it to himself, let alone considering its consequences.)
“Even so, it isn't everyone who can survive the wastes alone.
"Tell me, Oscar. What will you do now?”
no subject
From the outside, it seems really really foolish to tell this stranger that still has the aura of danger to him by reputation alone important details about his trip but Oscar strangely feels like he has to. If he's a fool for being starstruck, then fine. He'll deal with the consequences later if they ever come.
"Don't tell anyone this, but I haven't really planned ahead of New Vegas. I was thinking about going west to California. But I'm not so sure right now. There was all sorts of things on the road to this place. Who knows what I might run into. But for now I'll just rest for a while, trade and try to find my bearings here while I make that next decision."