Asking as questions of this sort, those on happiness, don’t come out from nowhere.
Won’t say you’ve no right to melancholy. Your Vevay’d like to ease it as it comes, if it’s come, but I ken it’s got its place, or else there’re times there’s no sense tearing it away without the time to process, as it’ll come gnashing back stronger yet.
Still and all. Your Vevay’s here, and I’ll be here always, all right? Here and closer still. Those eleven days’ll spell themselves out, and then we’ll banish all this distance, speaking spatial. 🧡
Aye here and for answering, I’ve had happiness, that’s so, and it’s rarely far off. Been fortunate my own ways, and then I make a habit of looking for that brightness daily, drawing what I can even if from traces, chances, aye? There’re times it takes effort for finding and I won’t say there aren’t times it’s more absent than not, but [ … ] I’ve learned where to look, what to focus in on.
That’s no speaking any fault on any who’re reft from happiness, or who don’t go, eh, looking the way I’ve described. It ain’t for everyone, won’t work for everyone. Nor’s it a cure all for clouds closing in and won’t heal the world or save the self alone.
Works for me all right enough, is what I mean. And what I mean as well is your Vevay’s not been distant from some manner of happiness, so aye, know that, my Talik. 🧡
[ … ]
[ … ]
There’s this for saying. I’mFuck of it gets me Absurd’s a way for putting it, and a true one at that. That we’ve been so near and circles and never before met.
Won’t say it doesn’t fuck me off, thinking how you and I might’ve met years before and thinking what might’ve been [ … ] aye avoided, staved off, were it not for interventions, or else silences kept ill advised.
Fucking Lolly.
Fucking Sen, Rin, Darius all. Something to be said for loyalty I won’t argue that, but one of em might’ve opened their fuckin mouth just once.
Been trying not to dwell on that one, past having passed and gone beyond reworking. But the thought’s there and the anger, that too.
Hard to keep vexed for long when I’m speaking with you and have you now and all my thoughts go weak kneed and joyful, and it’s truth I’ve never been much for sustaining anger with those that aren’t thrice fucked. But jesus shite, can’t say I don’t wish one’ve would’ve spoke the fuck up.
Might be if nothing else, you’d’ve been spared the devastation she’s been
But then there’s Sergiy and his is an existence matters and
[ … ]
I’ve no regrets regarding life with Roza and the kids, course not. Regret’s in what came after, the kids and herself caught in crossfire of what [ … ] the family that was and wasn’t never mine brought bearing down.
There’s some shits only give a fuck for their own selves, and not a mind for ruins they bring about.
Fuck them, anyrate.
I was happy with her and the kids, and far as I understand, she felt the same. Nicky and Liza, they were happy, and that’s cause for joy itself, aye? So we had a life together she and I, built it all the moments we had and nay it wasn’t love among the stars or sky crossed romance, but ordinary happiness itself’s no small thing.
Also isn’t comparable to what I feel with you, or know at a single word of yours, single thought upon yourself. Isn’t comparable the least to how I feel speaking your name, calling you Talik.
There’s pride in that, for you and for myself, that you’ll let me speak it, welcome myself to knowing you this way. And there’s starshine struck across my being, every time I think it, write it, see it writ.
Going to upend me in its speaking, I’m certain on that. A beautiful upending, and a happiness to put all past sorrows into silence.
There’s nothing stands against the speaking of your name, my Talik.
There’s nothing sings as bright as you yourself. 🧡 And fact is that for all I've held happiness through most my living, I’ve been happier speaking with you, sharing in these texts with you, than I can count in years past thinking.
1/3
[ … ]
Asking as questions of this sort, those on happiness, don’t come out from nowhere.
Won’t say you’ve no right to melancholy. Your Vevay’d like to ease it as it comes, if it’s come, but I ken it’s got its place, or else there’re times there’s no sense tearing it away without the time to process, as it’ll come gnashing back stronger yet.
Still and all. Your Vevay’s here, and I’ll be here always, all right? Here and closer still. Those eleven days’ll spell themselves out, and then we’ll banish all this distance, speaking spatial. 🧡
Aye here and for answering, I’ve had happiness, that’s so, and it’s rarely far off. Been fortunate my own ways, and then I make a habit of looking for that brightness daily, drawing what I can even if from traces, chances, aye? There’re times it takes effort for finding and I won’t say there aren’t times it’s more absent than not, but [ … ] I’ve learned where to look, what to focus in on.
That’s no speaking any fault on any who’re reft from happiness, or who don’t go, eh, looking the way I’ve described. It ain’t for everyone, won’t work for everyone. Nor’s it a cure all for clouds closing in and won’t heal the world or save the self alone.
Works for me all right enough, is what I mean. And what I mean as well is your Vevay’s not been distant from some manner of happiness, so aye, know that, my Talik. 🧡
[ … ]
[ … ]
There’s this for saying.
I’mFuck of it gets meAbsurd’s a way for putting it, and a true one at that. That we’ve been so near and circles and never before met.Won’t say it doesn’t fuck me off, thinking how you and I might’ve met years before and thinking what might’ve been [ … ] aye avoided, staved off, were it not for interventions, or else silences kept ill advised.
Fucking Lolly.
Fucking Sen, Rin, Darius all. Something to be said for loyalty I won’t argue that, but one of em might’ve opened their fuckin mouth just once.
Been trying not to dwell on that one, past having passed and gone beyond reworking. But the thought’s there and the anger, that too.
Hard to keep vexed for long when I’m speaking with you and have you now and all my thoughts go weak kneed and joyful, and it’s truth I’ve never been much for sustaining anger with those that aren’t thrice fucked. But jesus shite, can’t say I don’t wish one’ve would’ve spoke the fuck up.
Might be if nothing else, you’d’ve been spared the devastation she’s been
But then there’s Sergiy and his is an existence matters and
[ … ]
I’ve no regrets regarding life with Roza and the kids, course not. Regret’s in what came after, the kids and herself caught in crossfire of what [ … ] the family that was and wasn’t never mine brought bearing down.
There’s some shits only give a fuck for their own selves, and not a mind for ruins they bring about.
Fuck them, anyrate.
I was happy with her and the kids, and far as I understand, she felt the same. Nicky and Liza, they were happy, and that’s cause for joy itself, aye? So we had a life together she and I, built it all the moments we had and nay it wasn’t love among the stars or sky crossed romance, but ordinary happiness itself’s no small thing.
Also isn’t comparable to what I feel with you, or know at a single word of yours, single thought upon yourself. Isn’t comparable the least to how I feel speaking your name, calling you Talik.
There’s pride in that, for you and for myself, that you’ll let me speak it, welcome myself to knowing you this way. And there’s starshine struck across my being, every time I think it, write it, see it writ.
Going to upend me in its speaking, I’m certain on that. A beautiful upending, and a happiness to put all past sorrows into silence.
There’s nothing stands against the speaking of your name, my Talik.
There’s nothing sings as bright as you yourself. 🧡 And fact is that for all I've held happiness through most my living, I’ve been happier speaking with you, sharing in these texts with you, than I can count in years past thinking.