Enrion Varanil: (Enrion returns here to find no one home. Which is and isn't a relief, because he came back for his ring. No other reason, no other. Impulse. He wants his brother's ring back.)
Enrion Varanil: (He finds the note on the post outside and reads it again, again, hungrily scanning the handwriting, that familiar handwriting, all for him. And he decides to...wait.)
Enrion Varanil: (Not because Destro asked, but because he wants his ring.)
Destro Rubeno: (aside from silvanus's word two - two and a half? - days ago, destro's heard nothing of his... of the boy's whereabouts. (has and hasn't been looking. has been prodding carefully at could-be-sources. could-be-leads. never enough to yield much. never enough to risk altering the boy or... or.)
Destro Rubeno: (or breaking some agreement, though it's true that no matter what he does, or how he acts, he's breaking some promise to the boy. (which scarcely matters, when enrion is no longer his.) (will no longer be seen.) ((apologize, silvanus said, but how to manage an apology when the boy's gone missing. when the boy said 'stay'.))
Destro Rubeno: ((which scarcely matters, when destro has already leveled the deepest wound.) (betrayal, he thinks.) (betrayal, he knows. another of the echoes in his chest.))
Destro Rubeno: (he returns to the house holding nothing, knowing nothing. no wanting to be here or anywhere, but unable to leave the place for long. (he'd like to abandon it. half-thought to burn it, but couldn't complete the idea, even. the house was also enrion's. the house will remain.))
Destro Rubeno: (because what if. because there's a chance. because enrion could return.)
Destro Rubeno: (he doesn't hope for it, precisely. but he can't defy the thought. and so he's returned, and so he'll enter the house again, push through those empty doors into an empty (And not-empty) (and memory-laden) room. where the paintings the boy brought have been taken down, and lean against the walls, awaiting removal from the house, or. waiting for
Destro Rubeno: storage elsewhere in the house, out of sight, but never gone.)
Destro Rubeno: (he doesn't want to enter, but then, he doesn't want to do much of anything.)
Destro Rubeno: (so. he shifts the knob.)
Enrion Varanil: (Enrion roams the grounds, looking over the waterfall, and the rock that he had "dibs" on, and the fox that inhabits the little brushes to the right of the house itself.)
Enrion Varanil: (And inside, he roams the rooms, looking, noting what's changed. Noting that things /have/ changed. The paintings he brought have been removed, and seeing them carelessly leaning up against the wall feels like a cold hand wrapping his heart.)
Enrion Varanil: (His own room is untouched, for some reason. All these - boxes, these toys. Puzzles he no longer wants to look at or think about. )
Enrion Varanil: (The whole place is familiar, but cold. Familiar, but not home: a house readying itself for him to be gone and done. (Maybe Destro is readying it for some other idiot. Some other puppy to look up at him like he's. Oh, everything.))
Enrion Varanil: (He puts out still-burning lamps with a shaking head, wondering how long Destro's been gone and why he never remembers to put out the lights.)
Enrion Varanil: (There are two he can't. Bring himself to put out. He can't go in the room, can hardly look at the doorway. (Who's going to sleep there now?) (Who's going to take his place?) (It's none of his business.))
Enrion Varanil: (It won't be his business anymore, after today. And this place won't be home ever again.)
Enrion Varanil: (He hears the door open and close and has to force himself to breathe, because Destro is down there. He's closer than he's been in weeks, and if Enrion listens, he thinks he might hear the other man's breathing, his footsteps.)
Enrion Varanil: (He could sneak out a window. Destro would never know he was here. Or maybe he'd suspect, maybe he'd think he was being haunted, and that is how Enrion feels: like a ghost, haunting this house.)
Enrion Varanil: (...But he wants. (To see.) (To see him.) (Make sure he's okay.) (Even if he's not okay. Just see him.) Get his ring back, he wants to get his ring back. )
Enrion Varanil: (So he breathes again and heads downstairs, hand trailing the wall until he reaches the corner, where his eyes settle first on the stone floor, and then raise, seeking (Daddy) (oh) (not anymore) (or ever again) Destro.)
Destro Rubeno: (he knows who it is. (of course he does. no change of clothes tone of voice posture could hide the boy from him.))
Destro Rubeno: (and also. this isn't right.)
Destro Rubeno: (the sight strikes a manifold shock: enrion HERE. (
Destro Rubeno: he wants to focus on that. wants to graps hold of the short-lived fluttering the gasp of hope quickly exstinguished by the dimmed lights. (thinking it's possible. the boy came here to kill him. thinking he wouldn't blame enrion in the least. why else this mask, this mein? why else the room gone dim, and the boy waiting?))
Destro Rubeno: (destro had asked him to wait, in the note.) (destro will take whatever the boy delivers.)
Destro Rubeno: (and why. why is enrion (why else would enrion be) dressed in such drab colors, hiding his face here, of all places. as ifdestro wouldn't know him. as if anyone else would (...well, ha; silvanus) see him here.)
Destro Rubeno: (what is it the boy's hiding himself from.)
Destro Rubeno: (protecting himself from.)
Destro Rubeno: (which sparks an urge to look away; give the boy his space if he wishes it so badly. which isn't an impulse destro can follow; he can't, he won't, it'd be impossible to look away from the boy.)
Destro Rubeno: (at his side, his hand clenches, unclenches.)
Destro Rubeno: (and it occurs to him the boy is armed (not with his axe) (of course not with his axe). that destro has his knives, and no intention of using them. that he might offer the boy those knives, see what he might enact with them.)
Destro Rubeno: (he knows he's breathing, barely.)
Destro Rubeno: (he knows he wants to speak.)
Destro Rubeno: (but everything's gone dry, gone wound into contortions, and all he can manage is one, then two careful steps forward.)
Destro Rubeno: (he doesn't know what this is. but. enrion is here.)
Enrion Varanil: (He doesn't know how long he's been staring. This is what it is to reunite, even if the reunion is sad, even if the person you love is the last person you want to see - because being away from Destro has been like starving, like dying of thirst. It's been like slowly suffocating, and now they share this room and this air, and Enrion is able to fill his lungs again. He doesn't want to look away. He wants to remember more than the small store of months he had. He wants to find the things he found absent in his memory and overwrite them: the exact way the red marks on Destro's skin curve. Which way his hair parts, and the exact shade of black it is. The angle of his nose and the wiry strength despite his size, despite how thin (and is he thinner, or is that Enrion's imagination?))
Enrion Varanil: (He doesn't want to forget. Anything.)
Enrion Varanil: (He should forget. He has a right to forget. (But the hook in his heart tugs him, almost betrays him.) He nearly takes a step forward, but Destro moves first, and it stills him tense.)
Enrion Varanil: (He looks away. Around the room, his expression hidden by cloth and shadow.)
Enrion Varanil: You shouldn't leave all those candles burning when you go.
Enrion Varanil: (He's said this before. It's melancholy, empty, full of depthless longing, to say those words again. His voice only registers softness. Lack of malice. Lack of anything. A recitation.)
Destro Rubeno: (the way the boy surveys the room. inscrutable in shadow, in that mask. his posture telling little; the boy is. remarkably unreadable just now. (has been remarkably unreachable since leaving. has been hidden, hiding himself and covering his tracks. enrion knows how to make himself absent. enrion has proven again, again to be more capable than he shows. meaning, partly, that this might be precisely what it looks like: the boy having gathered himself for retlation. the boy waiting, not precisely because destro requested it, but because enrion arrived with a purpose.)
Destro Rubeno: (dressed to escape, in case anyone might be watching. (does he know that though destro hasn't been watching closely, silvanus has - apparently - been monitoring the boy to some extent? is that the reason for this... wholly un-enrion appearance.)
Destro Rubeno: (and the way he spoke.)
Destro Rubeno: (no malice, no ire doesn't mean no intention. though destro would like to believe otherwise. though destro would like to think that what he heard in those words was... oh, that word again. 'mercy.' kindness. an opening for speech.)
Destro Rubeno: (he feels drained through his marrow. he feels... very little that he can name.)
Destro Rubeno: (and this time he does reach for a knife, the knife, the knife he's kept against himself for years, the knife most reliable, never parted with.)
Destro Rubeno: (and he takes one step forward, tosses the knife toward the boy's feet. tries not to feel the press of wordless rots in his chest, crawling through his throat.)
Destro Rubeno: does it matter.
Destro Rubeno: (and-)
Destro Rubeno: perhaps i was trying to call you back.
stay with me, for always
Enrion Varanil: (He finds the note on the post outside and reads it again, again, hungrily scanning the handwriting, that familiar handwriting, all for him. And he decides to...wait.)
Enrion Varanil: (Not because Destro asked, but because he wants his ring.)
Destro Rubeno: (aside from silvanus's word two - two and a half? - days ago, destro's heard nothing of his... of the boy's whereabouts. (has and hasn't been looking. has been prodding carefully at could-be-sources. could-be-leads. never enough to yield much. never enough to risk altering the boy or... or.)
Destro Rubeno: (or breaking some agreement, though it's true that no matter what he does, or how he acts, he's breaking some promise to the boy. (which scarcely matters, when enrion is no longer his.) (will no longer be seen.) ((apologize, silvanus said, but how to manage an apology when the boy's gone missing. when the boy said 'stay'.))
Destro Rubeno: ((which scarcely matters, when destro has already leveled the deepest wound.) (betrayal, he thinks.) (betrayal, he knows. another of the echoes in his chest.))
Destro Rubeno: (he returns to the house holding nothing, knowing nothing. no wanting to be here or anywhere, but unable to leave the place for long. (he'd like to abandon it. half-thought to burn it, but couldn't complete the idea, even. the house was also enrion's. the house will remain.))
Destro Rubeno: (because what if. because there's a chance. because enrion could return.)
Destro Rubeno: (he doesn't hope for it, precisely. but he can't defy the thought. and so he's returned, and so he'll enter the house again, push through those empty doors into an empty (And not-empty) (and memory-laden) room. where the paintings the boy brought have been taken down, and lean against the walls, awaiting removal from the house, or. waiting for
Destro Rubeno: storage elsewhere in the house, out of sight, but never gone.)
Destro Rubeno: (he doesn't want to enter, but then, he doesn't want to do much of anything.)
Destro Rubeno: (so. he shifts the knob.)
Enrion Varanil: (Enrion roams the grounds, looking over the waterfall, and the rock that he had "dibs" on, and the fox that inhabits the little brushes to the right of the house itself.)
Enrion Varanil: (And inside, he roams the rooms, looking, noting what's changed. Noting that things /have/ changed. The paintings he brought have been removed, and seeing them carelessly leaning up against the wall feels like a cold hand wrapping his heart.)
Enrion Varanil: (His own room is untouched, for some reason. All these - boxes, these toys. Puzzles he no longer wants to look at or think about. )
Enrion Varanil: (The whole place is familiar, but cold. Familiar, but not home: a house readying itself for him to be gone and done. (Maybe Destro is readying it for some other idiot. Some other puppy to look up at him like he's. Oh, everything.))
Enrion Varanil: (He puts out still-burning lamps with a shaking head, wondering how long Destro's been gone and why he never remembers to put out the lights.)
Enrion Varanil: (There are two he can't. Bring himself to put out. He can't go in the room, can hardly look at the doorway. (Who's going to sleep there now?) (Who's going to take his place?) (It's none of his business.))
Enrion Varanil: (It won't be his business anymore, after today. And this place won't be home ever again.)
Enrion Varanil: (He hears the door open and close and has to force himself to breathe, because Destro is down there. He's closer than he's been in weeks, and if Enrion listens, he thinks he might hear the other man's breathing, his footsteps.)
Enrion Varanil: (He could sneak out a window. Destro would never know he was here. Or maybe he'd suspect, maybe he'd think he was being haunted, and that is how Enrion feels: like a ghost, haunting this house.)
Enrion Varanil: (...But he wants. (To see.) (To see him.) (Make sure he's okay.) (Even if he's not okay. Just see him.) Get his ring back, he wants to get his ring back. )
Enrion Varanil: (So he breathes again and heads downstairs, hand trailing the wall until he reaches the corner, where his eyes settle first on the stone floor, and then raise, seeking (Daddy) (oh) (not anymore) (or ever again) Destro.)
Destro Rubeno: (he knows who it is. (of course he does. no change of clothes tone of voice posture could hide the boy from him.))
Destro Rubeno: (and also. this isn't right.)
Destro Rubeno: (the sight strikes a manifold shock: enrion HERE. (
Destro Rubeno: he wants to focus on that. wants to graps hold of the short-lived fluttering the gasp of hope quickly exstinguished by the dimmed lights. (thinking it's possible. the boy came here to kill him. thinking he wouldn't blame enrion in the least. why else this mask, this mein? why else the room gone dim, and the boy waiting?))
Destro Rubeno: (destro had asked him to wait, in the note.) (destro will take whatever the boy delivers.)
Destro Rubeno: (and why. why is enrion (why else would enrion be) dressed in such drab colors, hiding his face here, of all places. as ifdestro wouldn't know him. as if anyone else would (...well, ha; silvanus) see him here.)
Destro Rubeno: (what is it the boy's hiding himself from.)
Destro Rubeno: (protecting himself from.)
Destro Rubeno: (which sparks an urge to look away; give the boy his space if he wishes it so badly. which isn't an impulse destro can follow; he can't, he won't, it'd be impossible to look away from the boy.)
Destro Rubeno: (at his side, his hand clenches, unclenches.)
Destro Rubeno: (and it occurs to him the boy is armed (not with his axe) (of course not with his axe). that destro has his knives, and no intention of using them. that he might offer the boy those knives, see what he might enact with them.)
Destro Rubeno: (he knows he's breathing, barely.)
Destro Rubeno: (he knows he wants to speak.)
Destro Rubeno: (but everything's gone dry, gone wound into contortions, and all he can manage is one, then two careful steps forward.)
Destro Rubeno: (he doesn't know what this is. but. enrion is here.)
Enrion Varanil: (He doesn't know how long he's been staring. This is what it is to reunite, even if the reunion is sad, even if the person you love is the last person you want to see - because being away from Destro has been like starving, like dying of thirst. It's been like slowly suffocating, and now they share this room and this air, and Enrion is able to fill his lungs again. He doesn't want to look away. He wants to remember more than the small store of months he had. He wants to find the things he found absent in his memory and overwrite them: the exact way the red marks on Destro's skin curve. Which way his hair parts, and the exact shade of black it is. The angle of his nose and the wiry strength despite his size, despite how thin (and is he thinner, or is that Enrion's imagination?))
Enrion Varanil: (He doesn't want to forget. Anything.)
Enrion Varanil: (He should forget. He has a right to forget. (But the hook in his heart tugs him, almost betrays him.) He nearly takes a step forward, but Destro moves first, and it stills him tense.)
Enrion Varanil: (He looks away. Around the room, his expression hidden by cloth and shadow.)
Enrion Varanil: You shouldn't leave all those candles burning when you go.
Enrion Varanil: (He's said this before. It's melancholy, empty, full of depthless longing, to say those words again. His voice only registers softness. Lack of malice. Lack of anything. A recitation.)
Destro Rubeno: (the way the boy surveys the room. inscrutable in shadow, in that mask. his posture telling little; the boy is. remarkably unreadable just now. (has been remarkably unreachable since leaving. has been hidden, hiding himself and covering his tracks. enrion knows how to make himself absent. enrion has proven again, again to be more capable than he shows. meaning, partly, that this might be precisely what it looks like: the boy having gathered himself for retlation. the boy waiting, not precisely because destro requested it, but because enrion arrived with a purpose.)
Destro Rubeno: (dressed to escape, in case anyone might be watching. (does he know that though destro hasn't been watching closely, silvanus has - apparently - been monitoring the boy to some extent? is that the reason for this... wholly un-enrion appearance.)
Destro Rubeno: (and the way he spoke.)
Destro Rubeno: (no malice, no ire doesn't mean no intention. though destro would like to believe otherwise. though destro would like to think that what he heard in those words was... oh, that word again. 'mercy.' kindness. an opening for speech.)
Destro Rubeno: (he feels drained through his marrow. he feels... very little that he can name.)
Destro Rubeno: (and this time he does reach for a knife, the knife, the knife he's kept against himself for years, the knife most reliable, never parted with.)
Destro Rubeno: (and he takes one step forward, tosses the knife toward the boy's feet. tries not to feel the press of wordless rots in his chest, crawling through his throat.)
Destro Rubeno: does it matter.
Destro Rubeno: (and-)
Destro Rubeno: perhaps i was trying to call you back.