texts texts texts

[onefellswoop]

this one is for texts!

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[necropolitical]

[...] Speaking with you of this, it doesn't feel like atonement or forgiveness - and I am glad for it. I am glad you speak acknowledgement of what I've done, of the wrong of it.

[...]

Accountability, that's the word I mean to say. Accountability is important.

Still, I feel a tension come loose in me. A [...] burden not lifted, but lighter? How strange. Perhaps it is that you'll remain, and not blindly. You see what I am, and it is a relief to be known.

Even the worst.

[...]

I won't speak poorly of Madeline if I can help it if for no reason but that I would not want Sergiy to hear it. It's simpler to practice discretion with everyone.

I think, as well, you discount something in attempting to bring perspective to what I did. Do you realize how large I am?

She is much smaller, and there, I could have hurt her badly. That thought never leaves me.

...But I am aware, Vevay. I am. I feel I deserve all that has happened, but that doesn't make me blind to the actions of others. I see the futility in being angry, though. Impotently angry, you see? Why, when I can think of the good and hope for something better in the future?

[...]

This brings me to speak to your final message.

May I urge caution? May I tell you the wait is indefinite, and that I wish you to live your life without hoping for that possibility?

Would you listen? You seem like a man who does exactly as he pleases.

You shouldn't wait.

...But if there did come a time -

Ah, your messages leave me breathless, Nova. I will say this, but make no promise: I am eager to know you better. I am glad I have been given the chance.

I would like to know you very, very well someday.

If you can find happiness with anyone, you should take it.

And anyway, maybe when you meet me, you'll find I have bad breath or a voice pitched too high. Maybe I am a brute, eh? What if I drink too much? Maybe you'll find there's nothing worth waiting for.