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kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pm
onefellswoop) wrote in kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pm
texts texts texts
this one is for texts!
1) Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire. Call it divine intervention.
2) That night ended with a "car accident,” which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
3) Did he tell you the story about his ex and the handjob at the Parthenon? Because that man’s never been to Greece.
4) Who on earth needs a lapdog when you have your Puppy’s lap?
5) Fuck off, I broke my foot jumping out the window on YOUR watch so who was really to blame there, hm??
6) Bets on how easily I can slip past security covered in blood, wearing only a robe?
7) where is my Puppy’s lap ;.;.; i need it ;.; how can i recharge ;.; how ca i leave it empty??
2) That night ended with a "car accident,” which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
3) Did he tell you the story about his ex and the handjob at the Parthenon? Because that man’s never been to Greece.
4) Who on earth needs a lapdog when you have your Puppy’s lap?
5) Fuck off, I broke my foot jumping out the window on YOUR watch so who was really to blame there, hm??
6) Bets on how easily I can slip past security covered in blood, wearing only a robe?
7) where is my Puppy’s lap ;.;.; i need it ;.; how can i recharge ;.; how ca i leave it empty??
Edited 2024-01-25 02:04 (UTC)
1) This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are together forever. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love soft. Flower.
2) Imagine if sharks could walk on land... scary.
3) Uh-oh. Found him nude in a tree again?
4) In another life could i be a baby alligator do you think?
Not that I’m not happy now oh i AM
Just i could also be happy a baby alligator I think
but i would need my baby alligator Senan with me too c:
a very long alligator, he!
5) Do you know, there is a song in my head. I cannot get it out and I cannot recall its title or even its words mostly, only there is the sound buzzing buzzing again in my head until my thinking begins to revolt, what shall I do?
6) Sometimes I think I only want to play Frogger, where I am the frog and the leaping is from one car to the next. But then jumping gets very old after the first few.
2) Imagine if sharks could walk on land... scary.
3) Uh-oh. Found him nude in a tree again?
4) In another life could i be a baby alligator do you think?
Not that I’m not happy now oh i AM
Just i could also be happy a baby alligator I think
but i would need my baby alligator Senan with me too c:
a very long alligator, he!
5) Do you know, there is a song in my head. I cannot get it out and I cannot recall its title or even its words mostly, only there is the sound buzzing buzzing again in my head until my thinking begins to revolt, what shall I do?
6) Sometimes I think I only want to play Frogger, where I am the frog and the leaping is from one car to the next. But then jumping gets very old after the first few.
Edited 2024-01-25 01:50 (UTC)
1) According to local mm legend, I decided I'm a stuntman after shot seven. RIP to my fingerprints, didn’t need em anyway
2) Too old to be getting shitwrecked and falling into koi ponds, yet here we are. Bright side is, it’s a top-tier hair day, sun’s out, and I just got cat-called from a Range Rover
3) What, Kraken dick? Knew him, heard about it. Never saw it, save the night he told about wanting to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
4) Nah, had to move on after painting the kitchen yellow, I’m talking mello yello piss, bright as the sun’s ass yellow. Gives me a headache thinking about it
5) He still pissed about the dime bag of crushed nerds? iirc, no one forced him to shove his nose in it.
6) I’m sitting here balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur. No regrets
2) Too old to be getting shitwrecked and falling into koi ponds, yet here we are. Bright side is, it’s a top-tier hair day, sun’s out, and I just got cat-called from a Range Rover
3) What, Kraken dick? Knew him, heard about it. Never saw it, save the night he told about wanting to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
4) Nah, had to move on after painting the kitchen yellow, I’m talking mello yello piss, bright as the sun’s ass yellow. Gives me a headache thinking about it
5) He still pissed about the dime bag of crushed nerds? iirc, no one forced him to shove his nose in it.
6) I’m sitting here balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur. No regrets
Edited 2024-01-25 02:11 (UTC)
1) Frank from Texas called again. I don’t know how many times I can say ‘please stop, I can’t use any of this’ before I pay a personal visit to convince him into silence. I’m so tired of this.
2) I know logically there shouldn’t be anything lurking in the closet, but monsters don’t give much heed to logic, so I’d be much obliged if you’d turn a light on.
3) I don’t see the problem; all I said was ‘There’s no telling when Bigfoot might come for you.’
4) Had another dream about Long John Silver’s.
5) That was the same night I walked in around four a.m. and found them playing Monopoly with gummies while making ‘worm pancakes.’
2) I know logically there shouldn’t be anything lurking in the closet, but monsters don’t give much heed to logic, so I’d be much obliged if you’d turn a light on.
3) I don’t see the problem; all I said was ‘There’s no telling when Bigfoot might come for you.’
4) Had another dream about Long John Silver’s.
5) That was the same night I walked in around four a.m. and found them playing Monopoly with gummies while making ‘worm pancakes.’
Edited 2024-01-25 02:11 (UTC)
He said it was the Colosseum. If he changed the story, he probably hasn't been to Rome, either, huh?
I don't know why he's telling me any of that. We were talking about international travel???
Don't leave me over here by myself :(
I don't know why he's telling me any of that. We were talking about international travel???
Don't leave me over here by myself :(
I'm ? glad, too? I mean. Forever's a long time but sure, we're...friends and all?
Are you drinking or like...writing some poetry?Is Sen with you
Are you at home?
Are you drinking or like...writing some poetry?
Are you at home?
Why u keep textin me man
You got friends . Talk at them bout balls n crocs. Sen aint never busy
Who gave you my fkin number ??
stg if it was verne
[...]
[...]
What game ?
You got friends . Talk at them bout balls n crocs. Sen aint never busy
stg if it was verne
[...]
[...]
What game ?
SeNAN why are you making a jest like thi
[ ... ]
[ ... ]
Uh oh
Enri forgive me! Only if you like, s’il sous plait! Yes I aM at home and yes poetry and yeS drinking very! much!
Allow me an amending! Forever is so, yes. Yes you are family you are here and this is wonderful also! For softness I do not think you are immune, you have at least and I believe Darius does have soft hair.
!!! It strikes me! Do you like sandwiches in miniature? We are going to have create some nice ones! Cucumbers!!
[ ... ]
[ ... ]
Uh oh
Enri forgive me! Only if you like, s’il sous plait! Yes I aM at home and yes poetry and yeS drinking very! much!
Allow me an amending! Forever is so, yes. Yes you are family you are here and this is wonderful also! For softness I do not think you are immune, you have at least and I believe Darius does have soft hair.
!!! It strikes me! Do you like sandwiches in miniature? We are going to have create some nice ones! Cucumbers!!
Telling me you've a problem with Crocs?
Sure, I've got friends. Half of em are in your neck of the world right now. The point isn't them, though. Lolly said you could use a friend. Truth be told, dunno if he meant friend or 'friend,' but then he's not big on explaining himself.
GTA rn, Madden before. Tried for Sea of Thieves, but the crew was shit and right fuckin rude. At least curse me out in pirate speak if you're gonna be a pissant, right?
You play, or nah?
Sure, I've got friends. Half of em are in your neck of the world right now. The point isn't them, though. Lolly said you could use a friend. Truth be told, dunno if he meant friend or 'friend,' but then he's not big on explaining himself.
GTA rn, Madden before. Tried for Sea of Thieves, but the crew was shit and right fuckin rude. At least curse me out in pirate speak if you're gonna be a pissant, right?
You play, or nah?
On my way, Love, as soon as I can. ❤️ Fucking Fitzgerald took it upon himself to corner me, and the bastard's difficult to slip away from without incurring dramatics of 'offense.' Which I'm about to risk, regardless, because he is keeping me from my Puppy.
I'd say turn and walk away, but— Mm. One, it's no good you coming into Fitz's orbit, and two, I've a suggestion of another sort.
You're right to guess he's never been to Rome. He has been to the Parthenon and Colosseum, but the trick, Enri, is that he found both in Florida.
One, a bakery; the other, a stadium.
Ask him, won't you, what the score was when he stepped out for that handie, and whether the crowd was booing when he came.
I'd say turn and walk away, but— Mm. One, it's no good you coming into Fitz's orbit, and two, I've a suggestion of another sort.
You're right to guess he's never been to Rome. He has been to the Parthenon and Colosseum, but the trick, Enri, is that he found both in Florida.
One, a bakery; the other, a stadium.
Ask him, won't you, what the score was when he stepped out for that handie, and whether the crowd was booing when he came.
I like those Uncrustables. You know, the PB&J ones in the freezer section?
Daddy won't let me have them, though.
I mean, I shouldn't eat them, anyway, but he prefers it if I eat not-freezer-sandwiches.
[...]
He has really soft hair. Seems like it runs in the family? Sen's looks pretty nice. But yeah. I love it when he tosses his head, you know? And everything else he does.
How come you're drunk? It's...5:30, Twix Mx. Everything okay?
Daddy won't let me have them, though.
I mean, I shouldn't eat them, anyway, but he prefers it if I eat not-freezer-sandwiches.
[...]
He has really soft hair. Seems like it runs in the family? Sen's looks pretty nice. But yeah. I love it when he tosses his head, you know? And everything else he does.
How come you're drunk? It's...5:30, Twix Mx. Everything okay?
[ Enri hesitates, but that seemed like a command. He goes up on his toes and cranes his neck to see if he can spot Darius in the crowd; when he can't, he shrugs to himself...and asks about the hand job. ]
[...]
[...]
He said there's always a standing ovation when he comes, so I asked why his partner's still standing at the end if he's any good.
He got a weird look on his face and left, so. Okay, then.
[...]
Did she literally invite every single one of your exes? Someone said your ex-wife's here.
I'm not mad or anything. It's funny and I'm having a good time. But [...] how many guests would be here if she didn't stack it with people you fucked?
It's about to get real crowded; Clark and Cooper are on the way with half my coworkers. Are Sen and Rin getting here soon? Pretty sure I saw Costas and Alice.
[...]
[...]
He said there's always a standing ovation when he comes, so I asked why his partner's still standing at the end if he's any good.
He got a weird look on his face and left, so. Okay, then.
[...]
Did she literally invite every single one of your exes? Someone said your ex-wife's here.
I'm not mad or anything. It's funny and I'm having a good time. But [...] how many guests would be here if she didn't stack it with people you fucked?
It's about to get real crowded; Clark and Cooper are on the way with half my coworkers. Are Sen and Rin getting here soon? Pretty sure I saw Costas and Alice.
OH MY GOD IT'S THE CIRCUS ACT
DADDY
SHE INVITED HIM
I'm gonna ask for tips on limbering up so I can suck my own dick.
DADDY
SHE INVITED HIM
I'm gonna ask for tips on limbering up so I can suck my own dick.
I know the ones you mean exactly, and yes they are vERY good and particularly the strawberry ones. There are honey ones also, am I correct? I believe I am, I often am (ah, but not always, you have seen! oh no, oh no).
Well I will not contradict your... I cannot call him Daddy in good conscience but you know who I mean, I mean Darius and you may hear in this 'your Daddy' if you choose! I mean to say it would displease you I think if these Crustlesses were to be offered, but IF you find yourself in need, you see there are loopholes, and Darius himself can fault no freezer foods found at Null Set!
Hm Sen doeS have very soft very nice and I dare to say - I am right to say! - very perfect hair, and you see Enri the trouble is everything is NOT okay because someoNE'S 'TWIN' SISTSERS continue trying to get in his hair! And they are impossiblE to ward away, and Verne will not stem the horde he set us on on us! AnD we have on top of this been very busy but no I will not trouble you with very dry distresses!
I suppose you see now why I am drunk! Well, it is not so bad noW 😊
Well I will not contradict your... I cannot call him Daddy in good conscience but you know who I mean, I mean Darius and you may hear in this 'your Daddy' if you choose! I mean to say it would displease you I think if these Crustlesses were to be offered, but IF you find yourself in need, you see there are loopholes, and Darius himself can fault no freezer foods found at Null Set!
Hm Sen doeS have very soft very nice and I dare to say - I am right to say! - very perfect hair, and you see Enri the trouble is everything is NOT okay because someoNE'S 'TWIN' SISTSERS continue trying to get in his hair! And they are impossiblE to ward away, and Verne will not stem the horde he set us on on us! AnD we have on top of this been very busy but no I will not trouble you with very dry distresses!
I suppose you see now why I am drunk! Well, it is not so bad noW 😊
I haven't had the honey ones! But it's okay; there are plenty of other honey-to-mouth delivery systems.
Do you think maybe the "twins" are kind of...enjoying the attention? You and Sen getting all spun up about them? Maybe you could try ignoring them. Go out with Sen on a date and have a nice time or something. Somewhere NOT Null Set?
You don't have to call him 'Daddy', by the way. I don't expect that. I'd rather you didn't, even. But [...] I figure if I'm marrying him and I love how we are together, I'm going to stop NOT calling him Daddy. I'm tired of it feeling [...] like we're doing something gross that we have to hide from people?
My family, really. I'm tired of all of us dancing around it and me feeling like it's the bad kind of dirty. I don't get to be myself with them, but then I got to thinking that they haven't been around enough to dictate what I call the person who HAS been around.
Like you. You've been around. I call you Twix Mx. because that's who you are to me. I don't call you Mx. Renault just because other people are around.
I love him so much, Twix Mx. More than the world. More than breathing. I'd do anything for him just to make him smile.
He can be Darius for everyone else.
He's my Daddy.
Do you think maybe the "twins" are kind of...enjoying the attention? You and Sen getting all spun up about them? Maybe you could try ignoring them. Go out with Sen on a date and have a nice time or something. Somewhere NOT Null Set?
You don't have to call him 'Daddy', by the way. I don't expect that. I'd rather you didn't, even. But [...] I figure if I'm marrying him and I love how we are together, I'm going to stop NOT calling him Daddy. I'm tired of it feeling [...] like we're doing something gross that we have to hide from people?
My family, really. I'm tired of all of us dancing around it and me feeling like it's the bad kind of dirty. I don't get to be myself with them, but then I got to thinking that they haven't been around enough to dictate what I call the person who HAS been around.
Like you. You've been around. I call you Twix Mx. because that's who you are to me. I don't call you Mx. Renault just because other people are around.
I love him so much, Twix Mx. More than the world. More than breathing. I'd do anything for him just to make him smile.
He can be Darius for everyone else.
He's my Daddy.
Edited 2024-01-25 04:36 (UTC)
Well you see now you are nearly going to bring me to tears.
You are absolutely, this is to say you are the both of you whole-heartedly wreathed within affections, a thrall one for the other. Words I speak, no, type, with all my admiration and with attestations that this is the best of ways to be, for what is life itself without a bit of utmost adoration?
You love him. He loves you. Ah, this much is plain and not a court on life would nay-say its evidence! Well, he may be your Daddy, I am certain he us, and I am I confess relieved to know there is no ill in myself keeping with 'Darius'!
[ ... ]
[ ... ]
Well, now I have caused my mascara to run. This is not so sorrie a state, as anyway I am not going to leave this apartment not even to see downstairs, and anyway I do not cry very often at all (please do not let this secret out!!) and now I have shown Senan your message and I hope you may forgive me, but you see, you see, it is beautiful.
You with Darius is beautiful, and Sen is beautiful, and Sen with I is beautiful, and howEVER the persistence of Jaeger's sisters is not beautiful. Oh I shall take Sen out to a date sometime and many times, that is a wondrous idea, and yes it is a good idea also to think the 't w i n s' might thrive upon attention but the trouble is they thrive apart from it, as well!
They are like weeds, somewhat. Always they persist and persist and you see weeds can be nice to look at weeds can be green when all the city's streets are grey but weeds do not trouble my Senan with pursuit!
...Oh, perhaps the salient point here is that weeds cannot run. Perhaps I should put lead in 'twin'-shoes, and that might help.
Now I have a plan! Thank you!
You are absolutely, this is to say you are the both of you whole-heartedly wreathed within affections, a thrall one for the other. Words I speak, no, type, with all my admiration and with attestations that this is the best of ways to be, for what is life itself without a bit of utmost adoration?
You love him. He loves you. Ah, this much is plain and not a court on life would nay-say its evidence! Well, he may be your Daddy, I am certain he us, and I am I confess relieved to know there is no ill in myself keeping with 'Darius'!
[ ... ]
[ ... ]
Well, now I have caused my mascara to run. This is not so sorrie a state, as anyway I am not going to leave this apartment not even to see downstairs, and anyway I do not cry very often at all (please do not let this secret out!!) and now I have shown Senan your message and I hope you may forgive me, but you see, you see, it is beautiful.
You with Darius is beautiful, and Sen is beautiful, and Sen with I is beautiful, and howEVER the persistence of Jaeger's sisters is not beautiful. Oh I shall take Sen out to a date sometime and many times, that is a wondrous idea, and yes it is a good idea also to think the 't w i n s' might thrive upon attention but the trouble is they thrive apart from it, as well!
They are like weeds, somewhat. Always they persist and persist and you see weeds can be nice to look at weeds can be green when all the city's streets are grey but weeds do not trouble my Senan with pursuit!
...Oh, perhaps the salient point here is that weeds cannot run. Perhaps I should put lead in 'twin'-shoes, and that might help.
Now I have a plan! Thank you!
[ There’s a moment in which Darius’s heart stops and he fights an urge to jerk his head, dart harried glances through the room (…through what he can see of the room, fine) (fuck Esma for inviting Manhattan’s tallest dick-beetles, right alongside his exes). It’s fine. It’s nothing. Esma wouldn’t. Not even Esma would go that fucking far, and anyway, Ursula would never agree to it. Thank fuck for small favors.
Better to focus on Enri’s enjoyment, and on the now-developing situation that Darius would very much like yo witness, and gods damn Fitzgerald for his inability to take a hint. ]
Puppy, Puppy—
Get. Him.
Then tell me everything. 😌
If the moment strikes, by the by, you might also ask what channels he’s found critical in harnessing the healing energy of a spread asshole. Tell him the hostess wants to know, but - well, you know Esma! She’s simply too shy to ask. Watch how quickly he runs to spill ill-informed secrets of the anus.
Alternatively, point him in the direction of Hummel, aka Mr. ‘Standing Ovation.’ The two of them would destroy one another. …That or they'll fuck off for an attempted poke at the nearest bakery, which wouldn’t be the worst thing.
It might add to the fun of this currently unbalanced gathering, hm? What do you think, Enri: One by one, we’ll remove the most egregious shits from this party, until our cavalry alone remains. 😌
Better to focus on Enri’s enjoyment, and on the now-developing situation that Darius would very much like yo witness, and gods damn Fitzgerald for his inability to take a hint. ]
Puppy, Puppy—
Get. Him.
Then tell me everything. 😌
If the moment strikes, by the by, you might also ask what channels he’s found critical in harnessing the healing energy of a spread asshole. Tell him the hostess wants to know, but - well, you know Esma! She’s simply too shy to ask. Watch how quickly he runs to spill ill-informed secrets of the anus.
Alternatively, point him in the direction of Hummel, aka Mr. ‘Standing Ovation.’ The two of them would destroy one another. …That or they'll fuck off for an attempted poke at the nearest bakery, which wouldn’t be the worst thing.
It might add to the fun of this currently unbalanced gathering, hm? What do you think, Enri: One by one, we’ll remove the most egregious shits from this party, until our cavalry alone remains. 😌
As I understand, Sen and Rin crept out of hiding only after ascertaining that Jaeger and his sisters had indeed started off.
…Which suggests, gods preserve us all, that the Jaegers are en route, and we’ll soon be treated to the squawkings of Nellie and Pippa. I am at once gritting my teeth and somewhat eagerly awaiting the response of Esma’s retinue.
The when of Sen and Rin’s arrival remains a mystery. I understand they’ve formed some plan about ‘gathering supplies,’ and spent fifteen minutes chasing down an albino squirrel Rin may or may not have spotted. There was something about going back for Andi and Marlowe, then going back again for Kaleo. And, of course, when Sens are involved, one must always allow for an extra hour of becoming lost, reoriented, then lost all over again.
Blake might - might - be of use in keeping the lot of them on-track.
I can’t blame the shitheads particularly for dragging their feet, but if they don’t show in the next hour, we are going to find them and drag them over, kicking, screaming, and expositing on injustice and the tyranny of New York’s street plan, in which all roads lead to Esma’s.
Delphina and Layne have landed, though they’re likely to take their time in arriving. I expect the rest of my particular circus’s clowns will be arriving sporadically throughout.
[ … ]
Honestly, I’ve no idea how Esma tracked down so godsdamned many of my exes. The more I see, the clearer it becomes how much effort she expended on this nonsense. Were I not thoroughly annoyed, I might almost be flattered.
The small relief is that no earthly force could have compelled my ex-wife to cross the Atlantic, or permitted Esma to swallow her pride far enough to contact the woman. Well. And she must know Rin might kill her. Or Sen might kill her. Or I might kill her.
[ … ]
I’ve not seen Deforest yet.
Or Simon.
Bridges to burn when we reach them, I suppose. If nothing else, Deforest had damned well better show himself; he has a role to fulfill as ‘twin’ bait.
[ … ]
Enri. If at any point this nuisance of exes becomes over-much, or if you become weary of Esma’s antics, let Daddy know. We needn’t remain any longer than you’re comfortable.
And. If we could use a break, there’s always the option of slipping off for a bit of private conversation. >;3
…Which suggests, gods preserve us all, that the Jaegers are en route, and we’ll soon be treated to the squawkings of Nellie and Pippa. I am at once gritting my teeth and somewhat eagerly awaiting the response of Esma’s retinue.
The when of Sen and Rin’s arrival remains a mystery. I understand they’ve formed some plan about ‘gathering supplies,’ and spent fifteen minutes chasing down an albino squirrel Rin may or may not have spotted. There was something about going back for Andi and Marlowe, then going back again for Kaleo. And, of course, when Sens are involved, one must always allow for an extra hour of becoming lost, reoriented, then lost all over again.
Blake might - might - be of use in keeping the lot of them on-track.
I can’t blame the shitheads particularly for dragging their feet, but if they don’t show in the next hour, we are going to find them and drag them over, kicking, screaming, and expositing on injustice and the tyranny of New York’s street plan, in which all roads lead to Esma’s.
Delphina and Layne have landed, though they’re likely to take their time in arriving. I expect the rest of my particular circus’s clowns will be arriving sporadically throughout.
[ … ]
Honestly, I’ve no idea how Esma tracked down so godsdamned many of my exes. The more I see, the clearer it becomes how much effort she expended on this nonsense. Were I not thoroughly annoyed, I might almost be flattered.
The small relief is that no earthly force could have compelled my ex-wife to cross the Atlantic, or permitted Esma to swallow her pride far enough to contact the woman. Well. And she must know Rin might kill her. Or Sen might kill her. Or I might kill her.
[ … ]
I’ve not seen Deforest yet.
Or Simon.
Bridges to burn when we reach them, I suppose. If nothing else, Deforest had damned well better show himself; he has a role to fulfill as ‘twin’ bait.
[ … ]
Enri. If at any point this nuisance of exes becomes over-much, or if you become weary of Esma’s antics, let Daddy know. We needn’t remain any longer than you’re comfortable.
And. If we could use a break, there’s always the option of slipping off for a bit of private conversation. >;3
Fee and mom are getting dinner first. She hasn't seen him in a few years, and I got her all to myself when she got here. Seemed like it was fair they get to spend some time together to catch up before having to come here and see Esma.
[...]
She's telling him about the money, too. They'll probably roll in around 8:30.
Morgan and Lydia are coming, too, but they run on Morgan and Lydia time. Hey, here's a question for you: are we still fashionably late if everyone else is fashionably later?
Also, this place is huge. Like, stupid huge. I've never seen anything besides the living room. Parlor. Sitting room. Thing. The boring ass white and blue room with her figurines and that obnoxious lamp.
Chandelier.
Who needs all this space for one person and a fucking dog and then threatens a couple of kids for more money like some kind of Disney villain?
[...]
She's telling him about the money, too. They'll probably roll in around 8:30.
Morgan and Lydia are coming, too, but they run on Morgan and Lydia time. Hey, here's a question for you: are we still fashionably late if everyone else is fashionably later?
Also, this place is huge. Like, stupid huge. I've never seen anything besides the living room. Parlor. Sitting room. Thing. The boring ass white and blue room with her figurines and that obnoxious lamp.
Chandelier.
Who needs all this space for one person and a fucking dog and then threatens a couple of kids for more money like some kind of Disney villain?
So Circus Act saw me coming and casually turned and went the other way.
That's too bad. I had some questions about crystal dildos.
[...]
Hummel whoever is inbound. Don't applaud; he might come on you.
[...]
[...]
Hey.
Are you okay? You can tell me, too. You know. If this gets to be too much. We don't have to be here to ruin it. I don't want you feeling any kind of bad tonight; big day tomorrow, Kitten.
...I won't say 'no' to a private conversation, by the way. I have a lot of things I'd like to say where only you can hear. >;)
That's too bad. I had some questions about crystal dildos.
[...]
Hummel whoever is inbound. Don't applaud; he might come on you.
[...]
[...]
Hey.
Are you okay? You can tell me, too. You know. If this gets to be too much. We don't have to be here to ruin it. I don't want you feeling any kind of bad tonight; big day tomorrow, Kitten.
...I won't say 'no' to a private conversation, by the way. I have a lot of things I'd like to say where only you can hear. >;)
The worst he’ll do is stain his pants.
Let’s see, shall we?
[ Hummel has indeed made the critical error of passing Darius in his approach toward god-knows-who. He makes as well the error of meeting Darius’s eyes, which is when Darius - half-smile sharp, sharkish - raises his hands and claps slowly, once, twice.
It has the double effect of stopping the shit cold, and silencing Fitzgerald mid-sentence. Which leaves an opening for Darius to offer a superficial introduction - “Hummel, Fitzgerald; Fitzgerald, Hummel, and do take care, Theodore; that one positively thrives on ovations” - then slip away.
He doesn’t get far, granted. There are too many people here and just now, Jack Ramsey and his wife have decided to ‘congratulate’ Darius on his ‘upcoming nuptials,’ suggesting Esma has said so much about his fiancé, what an interesting young - very young! - man he seems to be! Darius is on the cusp of suggesting that Ramsey and his wife go stick a thumb up the rectum of Ramsey’s probably-scowling and certainly not-so-young beau, when there’s a minor uproar from the front entry, indicating that Verne, the ‘twins’, and the perennial birthday boy have arrived.
It’s another chance to slip away, and Darius takes it after suggesting that the Ramseys ask whether Esma happened to mention that his fiancé is her nephew, or that she’d attempted to take money from the mouths of literal babes.
He manages to slip beside a plant and out of the way of any further interference, where he can text Enri once more. ]
No visible orgasming from Hummel, though I’ll call his arrival fortuitous; I’ve pawned he and Fitzgerald off on one another.
And it sounds as though the first part of our cavalry has arrived. Not the faces I’d hoped to see, but they’ll do for a distraction.
…Gods, where is Esma? I’d spill blood to see her face when they barrel in.
Where are you, Puppy, Puppy, my Puppy? This damned crowd persists in barring my vision, and I would very much like to cling to my husband. I’m all right, Dearest; only needled by the actualization of Esma’s pettiness, and irked by myself for being needled. It’ll all smooth itself out as the evening carries on, and as I wrap my arms around you.
Pity Circus Act steered off. If he persists in avoiding you, I’m sure we can send someone his way. Sen and Rin lack your look of earnest innocence, but they’ve that knack for posing mmm ‘whimsical’ questions with the most unruffled expressions.
Mm, and if they take on Barnum & Bailey, we can look on together. A nice bit of amusement for you and I. 😌
Regarding Esma, I suspect the answer to your question runs along the lines of ‘the same person who throws a fit when her less-favored sister marries first among the Boyles, then brings children to the world.’ One might think the pool cue incident would have discouraged her from being an outright shit. One would, clearly, be very much mistaken.
[ … ]
I suspect this little gathering of hers is intended as an affront to you, just as much as to myself. And I’d strangle her right now, were it not that we’ve a takeover in motion already, soon to be more drawn-own, and thus more satisfying.
Well. And what better revenge than to revel in one another, and stir trouble in her schemes?
Mm. And, as a treat, to share our private conversation on her most expensive sheets. 😌
Let’s see, shall we?
[ Hummel has indeed made the critical error of passing Darius in his approach toward god-knows-who. He makes as well the error of meeting Darius’s eyes, which is when Darius - half-smile sharp, sharkish - raises his hands and claps slowly, once, twice.
It has the double effect of stopping the shit cold, and silencing Fitzgerald mid-sentence. Which leaves an opening for Darius to offer a superficial introduction - “Hummel, Fitzgerald; Fitzgerald, Hummel, and do take care, Theodore; that one positively thrives on ovations” - then slip away.
He doesn’t get far, granted. There are too many people here and just now, Jack Ramsey and his wife have decided to ‘congratulate’ Darius on his ‘upcoming nuptials,’ suggesting Esma has said so much about his fiancé, what an interesting young - very young! - man he seems to be! Darius is on the cusp of suggesting that Ramsey and his wife go stick a thumb up the rectum of Ramsey’s probably-scowling and certainly not-so-young beau, when there’s a minor uproar from the front entry, indicating that Verne, the ‘twins’, and the perennial birthday boy have arrived.
It’s another chance to slip away, and Darius takes it after suggesting that the Ramseys ask whether Esma happened to mention that his fiancé is her nephew, or that she’d attempted to take money from the mouths of literal babes.
He manages to slip beside a plant and out of the way of any further interference, where he can text Enri once more. ]
No visible orgasming from Hummel, though I’ll call his arrival fortuitous; I’ve pawned he and Fitzgerald off on one another.
And it sounds as though the first part of our cavalry has arrived. Not the faces I’d hoped to see, but they’ll do for a distraction.
…Gods, where is Esma? I’d spill blood to see her face when they barrel in.
Where are you, Puppy, Puppy, my Puppy? This damned crowd persists in barring my vision, and I would very much like to cling to my husband. I’m all right, Dearest; only needled by the actualization of Esma’s pettiness, and irked by myself for being needled. It’ll all smooth itself out as the evening carries on, and as I wrap my arms around you.
Pity Circus Act steered off. If he persists in avoiding you, I’m sure we can send someone his way. Sen and Rin lack your look of earnest innocence, but they’ve that knack for posing mmm ‘whimsical’ questions with the most unruffled expressions.
Mm, and if they take on Barnum & Bailey, we can look on together. A nice bit of amusement for you and I. 😌
Regarding Esma, I suspect the answer to your question runs along the lines of ‘the same person who throws a fit when her less-favored sister marries first among the Boyles, then brings children to the world.’ One might think the pool cue incident would have discouraged her from being an outright shit. One would, clearly, be very much mistaken.
[ … ]
I suspect this little gathering of hers is intended as an affront to you, just as much as to myself. And I’d strangle her right now, were it not that we’ve a takeover in motion already, soon to be more drawn-own, and thus more satisfying.
Well. And what better revenge than to revel in one another, and stir trouble in her schemes?
Mm. And, as a treat, to share our private conversation on her most expensive sheets. 😌
Edited 2024-01-28 01:40 (UTC)
[ Enri hears the claps and thinks, There's Daddy! With a grin, he starts making a beeline through the crowd, only to find himself waylaid by Verne, the twins, and the man he assumes is Cap Kidd.
There's a brief exchange, after which Cap, eyes already on some distant point in the hall, touches the tip of his index finger to his nose, then points with a smile Enri doesn't want to interpret. Neither does he want to see where Cap is heading. He doesn't fucking want to know.
He points the three Jaegers to the open bar, thanks them for coming to his wedding party - a reminder for the girls, a plea to Verne to try and spread that story - and continues on, drawn ever towards Darius - inescapably, needfully.
Except Darius isn't where Enri expected; instead, there's Jack Ramsey and a woman Enri can only assume is his wife. He doesn't like the sneering way the man's looking at him, or the way he drawls, "Enri. There you are. We'd thought it was past your bedtime."
He could be petulant. He could snap back because he knows it wasn't a light-hearted joke, he knows it was a pointed dig about his marriage. But Darius would want him to be smarter than that.
He raises a brow and sticks out a hand. "Glad you could make it, Jack."
Seeing as they're on a first-name basis.
There's a pause during which Ramsey clearly is considering ignoring his hand; the wife jostles his arm with a pointed expression and Ramsey forces a charming smile. He takes Enri's hand in a clammy, two-handed grip (he can't quite mask the look of faint disgust, but he thinks Ramsey didn't notice.)
"We wouldn't miss it. We've known Esma for years." He looks to the wife for confirmation; she nods vaguely, her attention drifting. "Funny; she never mentioned you were her nephew. Why in the world didn't you say?"
Enri has a dozen responses in mind. They'd be polite. They wouldn't cause problems. He would make his parents and Darius proud. But the thing is, in that same heartbeat, he thinks about this fucking party, and the strain on Anna's face over the years, and how he hates ramen noodles. In that same heartbeat, he sees Costas over Ramsey's shoulder, across the room, trying not to look this way, and fuck, he doesn't like that, either. (He does like that Cap has intercepted Costas with a violently blue drink in one hands and a scotch in the other. Good move.)
He cocks his head and lets his attention slide back to Ramsey. "Probably for the same reason I didn't tell anyone about you sucking my uncle's cock on the sly. Someone asked me not to."
Widening his eyes in faux-shock, he brings a hand to his mouth. "Oh, shit. My bad."
People are staring. People heard that.
Well. Fuck it. Now he's got their attention.
Ramsey's eyes are bulging along with a vein in his forehead. The wife is glaring. Not at Enri, though. Dropping the feigned shock, he clicks his tongue. "You can start it, but I'll end it."
As he turns, he pauses and throws out, "And my bedtime's whenever Daddy says, man. Enjoy the party."
Speaking of Daddy. Time to find him. ]
Man, I really need to get better at remembering what's a secret and what's not. Sucks to be Ramsey right now.
One down.
Hey. Where are you? I followed the clapping but it might've been Hummel's ass. I want my Daddy. :c
[...]
Okay, how about this: I'm going to sit very patiently at the bar and wait for you to come rescue me from being a lost, lonely Puppy.
May I have a drink?
There's a brief exchange, after which Cap, eyes already on some distant point in the hall, touches the tip of his index finger to his nose, then points with a smile Enri doesn't want to interpret. Neither does he want to see where Cap is heading. He doesn't fucking want to know.
He points the three Jaegers to the open bar, thanks them for coming to his wedding party - a reminder for the girls, a plea to Verne to try and spread that story - and continues on, drawn ever towards Darius - inescapably, needfully.
Except Darius isn't where Enri expected; instead, there's Jack Ramsey and a woman Enri can only assume is his wife. He doesn't like the sneering way the man's looking at him, or the way he drawls, "Enri. There you are. We'd thought it was past your bedtime."
He could be petulant. He could snap back because he knows it wasn't a light-hearted joke, he knows it was a pointed dig about his marriage. But Darius would want him to be smarter than that.
He raises a brow and sticks out a hand. "Glad you could make it, Jack."
Seeing as they're on a first-name basis.
There's a pause during which Ramsey clearly is considering ignoring his hand; the wife jostles his arm with a pointed expression and Ramsey forces a charming smile. He takes Enri's hand in a clammy, two-handed grip (he can't quite mask the look of faint disgust, but he thinks Ramsey didn't notice.)
"We wouldn't miss it. We've known Esma for years." He looks to the wife for confirmation; she nods vaguely, her attention drifting. "Funny; she never mentioned you were her nephew. Why in the world didn't you say?"
Enri has a dozen responses in mind. They'd be polite. They wouldn't cause problems. He would make his parents and Darius proud. But the thing is, in that same heartbeat, he thinks about this fucking party, and the strain on Anna's face over the years, and how he hates ramen noodles. In that same heartbeat, he sees Costas over Ramsey's shoulder, across the room, trying not to look this way, and fuck, he doesn't like that, either. (He does like that Cap has intercepted Costas with a violently blue drink in one hands and a scotch in the other. Good move.)
He cocks his head and lets his attention slide back to Ramsey. "Probably for the same reason I didn't tell anyone about you sucking my uncle's cock on the sly. Someone asked me not to."
Widening his eyes in faux-shock, he brings a hand to his mouth. "Oh, shit. My bad."
People are staring. People heard that.
Well. Fuck it. Now he's got their attention.
Ramsey's eyes are bulging along with a vein in his forehead. The wife is glaring. Not at Enri, though. Dropping the feigned shock, he clicks his tongue. "You can start it, but I'll end it."
As he turns, he pauses and throws out, "And my bedtime's whenever Daddy says, man. Enjoy the party."
Speaking of Daddy. Time to find him. ]
Man, I really need to get better at remembering what's a secret and what's not. Sucks to be Ramsey right now.
One down.
Hey. Where are you? I followed the clapping but it might've been Hummel's ass. I want my Daddy. :c
[...]
Okay, how about this: I'm going to sit very patiently at the bar and wait for you to come rescue me from being a lost, lonely Puppy.
May I have a drink?
Edited 2024-01-28 02:31 (UTC)
Sen: I wasn't present for that particular incident, but if he was predisposed to attempt inhaling a mound of multi-colored crystals, I doubt he remembers it. You might ask Vitaly.
Sen: ...I've forgotten to invite Vitaly. Fuck me. Wait a moment, I'll make a group.
[ Chat has been created: Puppy Adoption Planning ]
[ Five contacts have been invited to the chat. ]
[ Blake Navarro and three others have joined the chat. ]
Enri: That's not funny.
Verne: ya it is
Sen: Stand by. Forgot Vitaly.
Enri: Who?
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has been invited to the chat. ]
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has joined the chat. ]
Sen: Vitaly, meet Enri, Blake and Nova. Rin is still angry with you, Verne still believes you have been in a gulag in Siberia for six years, Darius is marrying a Puppy, you have three weeks to get here.
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has left the chat. ]
Sen: Fuck's sake.
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has been invited to the chat. ]
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has joined the chat. ]
Vitaly: [In Ukrainian-] Do you know what time it is? Do you want to know what time it is, dickhead? [In English:] It's 7:35.
Sen: You can't use that one anymore. I am deeply in the throes of wedded bliss and will not be unsettled by any future threats to my not-so-secret.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] Was my invitation lost in the mail?
Enri: He said Rin's angry with you. Probably got something to do with it.
Vitaly: ONE. TOOTH. One fucking tooth and I am off the guest list.
Blake: tf with rin and they teeth
Vitaly: Exactly. Like that one said: tf with rin and they teeth. Well spoken.
Sen: There wasn't a guest list. We eloped. Enri and Darius are not eloping. Mid-June, Vitaly.
Enri: The 16th!
Verne: you geeting married on juneteenth wtf
Blake: juneteenths the 19th
Enri: That's the 19th
Sen: Juneteeth is the 19th, Verne. It's a federal fucking holiday.
Verne: [...] [...] u sure
Vitaly: It might be the 16th. You know these shitheads only come to consensus when they're wrong. Maybe you should take a poll on the sidewalk, Lolly.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] Which one speaks Ukrainian, earlier?
Enri: Russian. Close, though.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] A little too close.
Enri: Fuck Putin. I just speak the language.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] You can sit with me at the wedding.
Enri: [...] [...] I'm the Puppy.
Vitaly: That so? Don't worry. Daddy won't mind.
[ A sound of rusty, snorting laughter comes from the sitting room of the Null Set apartment. Blake is trying to choke it back. ]
Sen: Christ. Still with us, N?
Sen: ...I've forgotten to invite Vitaly. Fuck me. Wait a moment, I'll make a group.
[ Chat has been created: Puppy Adoption Planning ]
[ Five contacts have been invited to the chat. ]
[ Blake Navarro and three others have joined the chat. ]
Enri: That's not funny.
Verne: ya it is
Sen: Stand by. Forgot Vitaly.
Enri: Who?
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has been invited to the chat. ]
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has joined the chat. ]
Sen: Vitaly, meet Enri, Blake and Nova. Rin is still angry with you, Verne still believes you have been in a gulag in Siberia for six years, Darius is marrying a Puppy, you have three weeks to get here.
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has left the chat. ]
Sen: Fuck's sake.
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has been invited to the chat. ]
[ 011-380-44-405-0111 has joined the chat. ]
Vitaly: [In Ukrainian-] Do you know what time it is? Do you want to know what time it is, dickhead? [In English:] It's 7:35.
Sen: You can't use that one anymore. I am deeply in the throes of wedded bliss and will not be unsettled by any future threats to my not-so-secret.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] Was my invitation lost in the mail?
Enri: He said Rin's angry with you. Probably got something to do with it.
Vitaly: ONE. TOOTH. One fucking tooth and I am off the guest list.
Blake: tf with rin and they teeth
Vitaly: Exactly. Like that one said: tf with rin and they teeth. Well spoken.
Sen: There wasn't a guest list. We eloped. Enri and Darius are not eloping. Mid-June, Vitaly.
Enri: The 16th!
Verne: you geeting married on juneteenth wtf
Blake: juneteenths the 19th
Enri: That's the 19th
Sen: Juneteeth is the 19th, Verne. It's a federal fucking holiday.
Verne: [...] [...] u sure
Vitaly: It might be the 16th. You know these shitheads only come to consensus when they're wrong. Maybe you should take a poll on the sidewalk, Lolly.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] Which one speaks Ukrainian, earlier?
Enri: Russian. Close, though.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] A little too close.
Enri: Fuck Putin. I just speak the language.
Vitaly: [Ukrainian:] You can sit with me at the wedding.
Enri: [...] [...] I'm the Puppy.
Vitaly: That so? Don't worry. Daddy won't mind.
[ A sound of rusty, snorting laughter comes from the sitting room of the Null Set apartment. Blake is trying to choke it back. ]
Sen: Christ. Still with us, N?
Edited 2024-01-28 18:27 (UTC)
Yeah. What?
[ … ]
[ … ]
Lot to unpack here.
Would’ve eased off on the spliff if I’d know we were
Sure, first. All right, several points.
Cheers to the Puppy, pleasure to meet you. Enri. Enri? right. Husband-to-be and Puppy for life, that’s no small feat. Wilco speaks well of you, figure you’re golden.
…Hold up. Fucker went and took a new name. Not Wilco, then. [ … ] Renfield. There we are. that work for you, Sen?
Vitaly. Don’t think I’ve seen you? Got shit for recollection rn though. Question: Dime bag of crushed nerds. Darius. You saw that, or nah?
Blake, xbox, crocs, met you. Apologies about that. Some jag-off failed to tell the situation in full.
Speaking of. Lolly, where the fuck’re your sisters? Can’t get hold of either, and they took off with a handful of caps. Left me with nothing, least they could do is give a word. Added to which, Sher’s asking after you. Give her a call before I wreck my brains against a wall.
Who’s in which gulag? For pinching teeth, or what?
Love to know what languages are going on here. Lads, please; I ain’t on your level and I never will be. No fault but my own, admitted, but what I need understood is I’m too caned for sussing out rn.
Eh, nah, nm that, I’ll catch it later. Doing a wondrous job introing myself. You get what you get, what can i say?
[ … ]
[ … ]
Lot to unpack here.
Sure, first. All right, several points.
Cheers to the Puppy, pleasure to meet you. Enri. Enri? right. Husband-to-be and Puppy for life, that’s no small feat. Wilco speaks well of you, figure you’re golden.
…Hold up. Fucker went and took a new name. Not Wilco, then. [ … ] Renfield. There we are. that work for you, Sen?
Vitaly. Don’t think I’ve seen you? Got shit for recollection rn though. Question: Dime bag of crushed nerds. Darius. You saw that, or nah?
Blake, xbox, crocs, met you. Apologies about that. Some jag-off failed to tell the situation in full.
Speaking of. Lolly, where the fuck’re your sisters? Can’t get hold of either, and they took off with a handful of caps. Left me with nothing, least they could do is give a word. Added to which, Sher’s asking after you. Give her a call before I wreck my brains against a wall.
Who’s in which gulag? For pinching teeth, or what?
Love to know what languages are going on here. Lads, please; I ain’t on your level and I never will be. No fault but my own, admitted, but what I need understood is I’m too caned for sussing out rn.
Eh, nah, nm that, I’ll catch it later. Doing a wondrous job introing myself. You get what you get, what can i say?
Sen: No, it won't be Renfield, and you'll do nothing further to besmirch the beauty of their name. Neither will you call me 'Wilco'. You're creative; take something to inspire further thought and try again.
Enri: A handful's a lot. And explains a lot about them right now.
Blake: [Spanish:] Is he talking about Verne's sisters? What'd they take? Is Verne 'Lolly' what the fuck.
Enri [Spanish in italics, English unitalicized:] They took some ecstasy I think. Maybe something else. I've only heard it called caps once. It seems like what's wrong with them, though. All the touching.
Sen: Lolly is Verne. Another nickname.
Blake: [...] 👍🏽
Vitaly: I saw the crushed candy. And the Pixie Stix. Baking soda. It's a wonder Darius is alive to get married. What do you want to know?
Enri: Hey, don't talk about embarrassing Darius stuff when he's not around.
Vitaly: Sure. Sen can send him an invitation and then we'll talk about the time he tried to snort Nerds.
Sen: [...] [...] Oh, why not. This can't go any more chaotic.
[ Darius Precarious has been invited to the chat. ]
Verne: whys it brown
Vitaly: ?
Enri: What?
Verne: the hand whys it brown
Sen: You're going to have to be less obscure with your questions, Lolly.
Verne: the hand what blake used
Verne: its brown
Blake: [...] yeah cz i'm brown
Verne: but the simpsons r yellow
Enri: Jesus Christ.
Verne: he's brown
Vitaly: [...]
Enri: A handful's a lot. And explains a lot about them right now.
Blake: [Spanish:] Is he talking about Verne's sisters? What'd they take? Is Verne 'Lolly' what the fuck.
Enri [Spanish in italics, English unitalicized:] They took some ecstasy I think. Maybe something else. I've only heard it called caps once. It seems like what's wrong with them, though. All the touching.
Sen: Lolly is Verne. Another nickname.
Blake: [...] 👍🏽
Vitaly: I saw the crushed candy. And the Pixie Stix. Baking soda. It's a wonder Darius is alive to get married. What do you want to know?
Enri: Hey, don't talk about embarrassing Darius stuff when he's not around.
Vitaly: Sure. Sen can send him an invitation and then we'll talk about the time he tried to snort Nerds.
Sen: [...] [...] Oh, why not. This can't go any more chaotic.
[ Darius Precarious has been invited to the chat. ]
Verne: whys it brown
Vitaly: ?
Enri: What?
Verne: the hand whys it brown
Sen: You're going to have to be less obscure with your questions, Lolly.
Verne: the hand what blake used
Verne: its brown
Blake: [...] yeah cz i'm brown
Verne: but the simpsons r yellow
Enri: Jesus Christ.
Verne: he's brown
Vitaly: [...]
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