For record’s sake, Ii’s no grand loss, that brother. Lackless shite of a man, certain of his worthiness his place, certain of some feigning glory and apt for giving over his wife, his kids for the sake of what don’t even count as ideals.
What he did about regretting me, that’s one thing and can be pinned somewhat on the parents. The rest though, there’s no shadow of excusing. Prick left behind his kids, his wife for playing hero, is what fucks me off. Make a family only to discard em, fucking make sense of it, I cannot.
There’s fighting for what matters, and there’s fighting for empty idealization. That second suited him to a ’T,’ sure. Join the British army, throw yourself into the meat grinder and call the resolution immortality, sure.
There’s a man took no self-responsibility. Same for the parents that were his, and ought to’ve been mine.
Not to say all this knowing mends the hollows left behind. Still I’ve been luckier than many. Had an aunt open to taking me on. And there was Moira, that’s Sen’s mum who likely you’ve heard tell of a time or two and you can be certain she was as good as every ounce of praise to her name, when said aunt decided I was getting to be an inconvenience.
Bit of a tangent, all of this. Not irrelevant, guessing I don’t need to tell you
[ … ]
Sen speaks to your credit, and I hear the way you talk. Know what I see in you, and what I can believe. Know what I’ve seen beforehand, all these days in living.
What I mean’s you’re something else entirely. Which I’ve said, that’s right enough, and which I’ll say again til I’ve found better words for this saying.
3/4
What he did about regretting me, that’s one thing and can be pinned somewhat on the parents. The rest though, there’s no shadow of excusing. Prick left behind his kids, his wife for playing hero, is what fucks me off. Make a family only to discard em, fucking make sense of it, I cannot.
There’s fighting for what matters, and there’s fighting for empty idealization. That second suited him to a ’T,’ sure. Join the British army, throw yourself into the meat grinder and call the resolution immortality, sure.
There’s a man took no self-responsibility. Same for the parents that were his, and ought to’ve been mine.
Not to say all this knowing mends the hollows left behind. Still I’ve been luckier than many. Had an aunt open to taking me on. And there was Moira, that’s Sen’s mum who likely you’ve heard tell of a time or two and you can be certain she was as good as every ounce of praise to her name, when said aunt decided I was getting to be an inconvenience.
Bit of a tangent, all of this. Not irrelevant, guessing I don’t need to tell you
[ … ]
Sen speaks to your credit, and I hear the way you talk. Know what I see in you, and what I can believe. Know what I’ve seen beforehand, all these days in living.
What I mean’s you’re something else entirely. Which I’ve said, that’s right enough, and which I’ll say again til I’ve found better words for this saying.