texts texts texts

[onefellswoop]

this one is for texts!

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[necropolitical]

[ He watches the video twice, then again, replaying specific moments - the offering of Nova's heart, all I ask's you come home to me, that perfect dream Nova describes.

He doesn't feel so far from Nova anymore. He closes his eyes and thinks he feels the beating of another heart, warmth of a head on his shoulder. Not even the distant sounds of bombing can shake him loose from this vision Nova conjured.

Nova's right. They have their life together. It's not complete, but they're building it. Eventually, it will be someplace safe for them both and for their children, and with this thought comes the vision of a warm day in Central Park where he's taken Sergiy before, where he likes to scramble across the rocks. Here, Nova's with them, gentle and smiling, with his Nicky and Liza.

One week doesn't seem like such a long time, after all. New York isn't so far.

How lucky he is to know this man, much less call him his own. Who has ever spoken to him the way Nova does? Who ever loved him so dearly, and showed it without ever speaking the words? ]

Vevay

Thank you.

I've been astonished by your recording, only able to watch it again and hear your voice so near to me.

Nothing in the world feels so important as doing what you ask. I long to come home to you and never leave you wanting again. I long to come home.

You understand, don't you, how much this means when I say it? I'm sitting in the city where I was born, in a house I've owned for twenty years. It never was a home in the way you've become.

The way some places and people are from the moment you know them, like Sergiy has been to me? You feel a part of yourself stop wandering and remain.

I have Sergiy and you. Maybe only two parts of myself remain to find their home. The wandering can stop - what more could I search for in the world than our life together?

I've been waiting so long for you, Nova. I've looked for you in the faces of lovers and friends without understanding what I was looking for. I see it now in lamplight, on a bed we shared in a daydream more real to me than much of my life. I see it when you hold out a heart to me. When I ask for you to tell me something is true, and instead, you tell me why it's so. When you comfort me without hesitation or [...] disdain.

Your heart is a thing of true beauty, magnanimous and bright as any star. My Vevay, of course I'll guard it. Always.

Of course I trust you to guard my own.

[...]

Maybe I'll watch this recording whenever my thoughts turn so bleak as they have tonight. Maybe all I need ever hear is that you have my heart with you.

[...]

Eh, I see that you're tired. Please, sleep for me. I'll end after saying only a little more, and I promise to try and sleep, as well.

No one has ever said they feel happy I've trusted them with my worries. I don't doubt you; it only seems strange that [...] I can turn to you, when all I've known of love before is that it lasts only as long as the good times.

I know something new with you. It doesn't feel fragile or as though it will last only a month, a year. This, I know to be safe. Ah, and if I won't name it now, then I can say this much, at least: I know you.

It's the same. Knowing you is finding certainty, joy, safety. Knowing you is that other, unspoken thing.

My Nova, I know you. I know you.

A small relief, to say this - tonight, when words press against my throat and ache to be spoken.

I know you.

[citrinesupernova]

Ah shite

Shite, what’s a man to do with the wonder you are

Christ hisself, if ever I could’ve known you were ahead of me, clear cut and true, how much brighter these years’d’ve been

Aye, my Talik.

[ … ]


So you do. Know me better than any, and more wanted than any person aye, or anything at all.

So I feel the truth of it and of yourself. Here right in my marrow and here right to my heart. It’s your words keep me walking on air through the day, moj ukochany. It’s the promise of you’s got all my world turned radiant.

Eh, and out here in this country where all’s gray and gloom, where malaise has been the way spelt over years, that’s no feat I’d call meagre. Just as your heart and soul’s nothing I’d call lacking, nay, there’s naught in you’s less than everything I’d ask, and more besides.

You, my Talik, Vitaly, all my own and a wonder in yourself.

What’s difficult’s putting my feeling all to speech.

What’s lucky’s you found a way of it, and damn these eyes of mine if I don’t long to write these words as well as speak their corollaries.

So here, aye, here

I know you, my Talik.

Know you, and I always will. That’s truth put plain and truth placed endless.

There’s you speaking of [ … ] ah, fuck me, speaking of those parts of yourself, and here I know your meaning, feel in also to my bones. We’ll have every piece together, Talik, and every word as yet unspoke.

Way I see it, the only path seems right to me, we’ll suss out every piece we’re missing, bring em all together to a [ … ] home. A family. Aye, a gathering of hearts and minds, or rightness.

Do you know the hope you give your Vevay? Do you know the way you brighten all the world? Ah Talik, ah my Talik, there’s naught I couldn’t do, knowing there’s you with me and waiting to be found. Knowing the way that life aheads spelled out in consonance, not only wandering and searching, never again seeking without answer.

There’s that for you, that you’re my answer. That I’d like to be your own. Ey, what questions are there could stand against the pair of us, hey?

[ … ]

Pleased you take comfort in that video of mine. Of yours, for its all your own now, offered up and gladly to your keeping, right there with my heart.

Figured as I can’t be there speaking soft and at your ear, this’ll do for the time. Keep it, my Talik, do. Have your Vevay’s voice ever at the ready for when I can’t be with you, and till the time that we’re together.

Truth’s I’ll be here always for speaking. Messaging and video and calls all alike, there’s naught I have that isn’t yours, and no one I’d prefer giving my moments, all my hours to and toward. But then, and then, never hurts having that vid for reminders. Never hurts to know my voice is with you, even if I’m off sleep or shoulders deep in working.

My thought and heart’re with you always. Like to think, like to know you’ve got my voice and face now too. 🧡🧡

Right, all right. Here, it’s late and growing later, and sleeping means another night won over and another day nearer to New York, so! Here’s me taking myself to sleep. Here’s me stating aye you’d best be on your way to follow. Be waiting for you there in dreaming, as I’m waiting here upon this waking world.

Ey, Talik? Send along a photo, would you? Of yourself as you are just now, and headed off to dreaming. Of yourself as I’ll find you, and wrap myself around you, head muddled in sleeping through my heart’s bright always with everything it is I feel for you.

One photo, then sleep. Do this for your Vevay, moj ukochany?

And know that it’s your name I’ll speak, murmuring, murmuring and sighing, as I find my way to this day’s end, another step nearer to you 🧡

[ For sake of fairness - and because, really, he’d like Talik to have another image of himself - Nova sends a photo of himself, head upon his pillow, one arm beneath his head, eyes hazed with oncoming sleep and with dreaming on Vitaly. The smile at his lips is warm, crooked. His eyes seem liable to slip shut at any moment, and it’s very likely that he’s using the last of his day’s energy to hold up the phone and snap the picture. Eyes deep with adoration; eyes speaking love entire, and saying that yes, yes, he’s there right with his Talik, thinking only of his Talik. Saying that with Talik is where he forever will remain, and there’s nothing he’d like better. ]