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kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pm
onefellswoop) wrote in kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pm
texts texts texts
this one is for texts!
[ What follows is a series of links to articles, the first of which is from a reputable global source. ]
Alfonso Salma
February 2023
BRUSSELS – One year after Russia’s invasion, the Brussels-based diplomatic summit resumes ongoing negotiations of support for Ukraine. Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs Oleksiy Makeev spoke to a full assemblage today before yielding the floor to political scientist and advisor Dr. Vitaly Kozak.
Kozak’s presentation to the summit, an appeal for armaments and monetary assistance, much like his keynote speech in 2017, referenced contemporary sociopolitical concepts exemplified in current events...
[…]
[…]
For two decades, Kozak has posited frameworks of equitable government adapted to the "inhabited Anthropocene" and paced with technological advancement. His publications have been subject of critical debate within both academic and political circles. Despite the success of his wartime career, Kozak came under fire for the 2018 book Agentic Anarchism, which examines necropolitics as described by fellow theorist and historian Achille Mbembe. In a series of essays, Kozak and co-author S.D. Altair argue that the state’s overreach into biopower necessitates extreme response in the form of anarchic methodology, Marxist revolt, and targeted assassination.
This is not the first time the theorist has been involved in political scandal; five years prior to the publication of Agentic Anarchism, Kozak served on a number of boards and has previously attended defense summits as a delegate for Ukraine. Attributed to pro-Russian opposition, details of Kozak’s homosexual relationships were leaked to Ukrainian press, resulting in his dismissal from positions of national security.
Ukraine’s political stance about LGBTQ+ issues has evolved in the years since. However, the majority of the country identifies as Christian under the Orthodox...
[…]
[…]
Kozak has declined to retract the publication, stating, “I hold that there are people who should never come to power; they are a liability and a danger to public safety. They should be removed by any means necessary.”
Agentic Anarchism has seen a resurgence in popularity following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Kozak responded to this news on X (formerly Twitter) with, “Good. Maybe someone will feel inspired. Слава Україні!“
[ Linked: A video from a Ukrainian news source. Although not in English and not captioned, it’s clear the story is about a much-younger Vitaly, who is shown giving a brief statement to a microphone thrust towards him. Declining to answer questions, he vanishes into the back of a government vehicle; the video cuts to a newsroom. The anchor speaks gravely as an image of another young man takes up occupancy in the upper right of the screen. The name ‘Sheldon Warwick’ can be picked out from the dialogue. ]
[ Linked: A second video, this time of the red-headed man from the previous photo. Not as brusque as Vitaly, he smiles and waves off the stilted questions posed in English: Would he care to comment? How long has he been involved with Vitaly Kozak? What is interest in Ukrainian politics?
A slur is shouted by someone off-camera; Sheldon’s smile wavers, then vanishes. He shakes his head at any further questions and lets himself into the front entrance of a hotel where the press is stopped by employees. ]
[ Linked: A wedding announcement for Vitaly and Madeline, followed by what appears to be a gossip column; the gist is that his marriage is speculated to be an attempt to appear heterosexual in the public eye. ]
This one is obviously untrue, but it's morbidly funny to me:
[ Linked: A liturgical article discussing Vitaly and the success of conversion through prayer and sanctified marriage. The author has found and used a photograph of Vitaly, Madeline, and Sergiy. The article is titled “How to Live Holy and Happy.” No one looks particularly happy in said photo. ]
Alfonso Salma
February 2023
BRUSSELS – One year after Russia’s invasion, the Brussels-based diplomatic summit resumes ongoing negotiations of support for Ukraine. Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs Oleksiy Makeev spoke to a full assemblage today before yielding the floor to political scientist and advisor Dr. Vitaly Kozak.
Kozak’s presentation to the summit, an appeal for armaments and monetary assistance, much like his keynote speech in 2017, referenced contemporary sociopolitical concepts exemplified in current events...
[…]
[…]
For two decades, Kozak has posited frameworks of equitable government adapted to the "inhabited Anthropocene" and paced with technological advancement. His publications have been subject of critical debate within both academic and political circles. Despite the success of his wartime career, Kozak came under fire for the 2018 book Agentic Anarchism, which examines necropolitics as described by fellow theorist and historian Achille Mbembe. In a series of essays, Kozak and co-author S.D. Altair argue that the state’s overreach into biopower necessitates extreme response in the form of anarchic methodology, Marxist revolt, and targeted assassination.
This is not the first time the theorist has been involved in political scandal; five years prior to the publication of Agentic Anarchism, Kozak served on a number of boards and has previously attended defense summits as a delegate for Ukraine. Attributed to pro-Russian opposition, details of Kozak’s homosexual relationships were leaked to Ukrainian press, resulting in his dismissal from positions of national security.
Ukraine’s political stance about LGBTQ+ issues has evolved in the years since. However, the majority of the country identifies as Christian under the Orthodox...
[…]
[…]
Kozak has declined to retract the publication, stating, “I hold that there are people who should never come to power; they are a liability and a danger to public safety. They should be removed by any means necessary.”
Agentic Anarchism has seen a resurgence in popularity following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Kozak responded to this news on X (formerly Twitter) with, “Good. Maybe someone will feel inspired. Слава Україні!“
[ Linked: A video from a Ukrainian news source. Although not in English and not captioned, it’s clear the story is about a much-younger Vitaly, who is shown giving a brief statement to a microphone thrust towards him. Declining to answer questions, he vanishes into the back of a government vehicle; the video cuts to a newsroom. The anchor speaks gravely as an image of another young man takes up occupancy in the upper right of the screen. The name ‘Sheldon Warwick’ can be picked out from the dialogue. ]
[ Linked: A second video, this time of the red-headed man from the previous photo. Not as brusque as Vitaly, he smiles and waves off the stilted questions posed in English: Would he care to comment? How long has he been involved with Vitaly Kozak? What is interest in Ukrainian politics?
A slur is shouted by someone off-camera; Sheldon’s smile wavers, then vanishes. He shakes his head at any further questions and lets himself into the front entrance of a hotel where the press is stopped by employees. ]
[ Linked: A wedding announcement for Vitaly and Madeline, followed by what appears to be a gossip column; the gist is that his marriage is speculated to be an attempt to appear heterosexual in the public eye. ]
This one is obviously untrue, but it's morbidly funny to me:
[ Linked: A liturgical article discussing Vitaly and the success of conversion through prayer and sanctified marriage. The author has found and used a photograph of Vitaly, Madeline, and Sergiy. The article is titled “How to Live Holy and Happy.” No one looks particularly happy in said photo. ]
Edited 2024-02-21 15:53 (UTC)
[ Before responding, Nova’s just. Going to reread the article several times. Watch the videos a few times, order that book, and just. Doing a little search and browse to make sure he’s not entirely mistaken on the blurb around Vitaly’s book. ]
The sun’ll always rise for you, make no mistake on that. 🧡 Always wanting to return, always avid for your self.
Glad I am, and grateful, that you drew back that talk of strangeness and of hopefulness to prove. You’ve nothing needs proving, nothing needs more showing than the fact of you.
Can’t say it doesn’t warm me, that my name and could be myself kept with you in your sleep. The restlessness I’m less keen on, much as I’d wish you to find sleep apart from agitation, but you’ve cause for it, I won’t deny. There’s much for doing, my Talik. Much that sounds to be in motion now, and four weeks or however long, it’s not so much time for waiting left.
Aye, and twelve meagre days remaining til I know yourself beside me, hear your voice spoke immediate, and [ … ] mine. Twelve days til worlds collide. Discrete all’ll be, but the fact of that takes nothing from the life I’ll glean at the sight of you.
Does it need saying my admiration for you’s only growing greater? Every word you speak and, aye, this now, the signs and sight of what you’ve done.
Can see it’s not catastrophizing nor hyperbole, what you said about Russia. All of it apt and all of it seems to myself needful for the speaking, eh but christ you’re a bold one.
Wonder is anyone could know you and not know pride as well. My own chest’s near to bursting with it now and has been from near about the start, soon as you began to speak yourself, soon as my Talik started coming clear.
Fuck me I’m not near enough bright nor
Talik, you sure you want
Shite of a lot of good I’m like to bring you
Coming to find ‘intelligent’ was an undersell of you. An undersell as well, your saying you found the right words. Been speaking the best of em from the start, all credit to you and to the heart those words come forth from.
[ … ]
Won’t say it’s no amount of overwhelming, eh [ … ] all this. It’s no kind of deterrent neither, be clear on that. Tenacious I am and stubborn I remain, and all the more so knowing what you are, and how you’re at the heart of me.
Never given a toss what others think or say or [ … ] nay, thatain’t isn’t ain’t correct entire, but means little enough in the grander scheme, and with you there, there’s nothing can be beyond weathering, nor untenable. I’ve made it through enough on my lonesome, truth, and what’s peripheral can’t count an ounce against the beauty, aye the marvel and the earthborn truth of what you are, my Talik.
[ … ]
Might need some eh assurances ahead through that malaise I spoke of, but I’ve no doubts you’re equal for that easing, and beyond.Not to say I’d count myself a burden on But then that’s not in your thinking and I don’t mean to go suggesting As for the clandestine, I’m game for it and demanding of it only so long’s necessary for settling Sergiy and yourself to stability. Beyond that frame, secrecy’s nothing I’d ask and nothing I’d like, and I’d rather be beside you out and open sooner than not.
Been a lot you’ve weathered your own self. A lot you’ve come through in spite of all that howls itself a storm.
No more taking it alone, aye Talik? Whatever complications and eh outside attentions bring to bear, you’ll have your Vevay there with you. 🧡
Can’t feign I’m much up on any meanings in that you’ve writ on. The gist’s there maybeor might be I’m mistaken and I’ll get, eh, what I can of the rest. Can say I’ve naught but endorsement on what I can suss, in particular as regards means and methods. Aye and it’s a full on banger of a title.
[ … ]
Might fuck around and ask ‘Altair’ about it sometime while I’m at it. Presuming that’s not coincidence alone and as I’m here marveling over a man can’t keep a secret worth a fuck but aye, long’s the questions never asked he’ll take the answer to his grave swear to shite D a v i d.
Clever bastard, him. Whether it is or ain’t coincidental.
Cleverer still, yourself, and a more fully valiant man I’ve never met. Felt it prior, and here’s only evidence further to its proving. Here, never let it be spoken you’ve shirked responsibility, christ alive.
Admirable, I say again, and being clear, there’s little more attractive nor commendable than a man acting his principles and keeping with his heart. Fuck me running or and otherwise, how many times yet’re you going to set me falling?
Infinite, I’m guessing, and I’ll take and I’ll keep every one.
What I mean to say’s there’s nothing to keep me from my Talik, nor to keep that being of ours secret.
The sun’ll always rise for you, make no mistake on that. 🧡 Always wanting to return, always avid for your self.
Glad I am, and grateful, that you drew back that talk of strangeness and of hopefulness to prove. You’ve nothing needs proving, nothing needs more showing than the fact of you.
Can’t say it doesn’t warm me, that my name and could be myself kept with you in your sleep. The restlessness I’m less keen on, much as I’d wish you to find sleep apart from agitation, but you’ve cause for it, I won’t deny. There’s much for doing, my Talik. Much that sounds to be in motion now, and four weeks or however long, it’s not so much time for waiting left.
Aye, and twelve meagre days remaining til I know yourself beside me, hear your voice spoke immediate, and [ … ] mine. Twelve days til worlds collide. Discrete all’ll be, but the fact of that takes nothing from the life I’ll glean at the sight of you.
Does it need saying my admiration for you’s only growing greater? Every word you speak and, aye, this now, the signs and sight of what you’ve done.
Can see it’s not catastrophizing nor hyperbole, what you said about Russia. All of it apt and all of it seems to myself needful for the speaking, eh but christ you’re a bold one.
Wonder is anyone could know you and not know pride as well. My own chest’s near to bursting with it now and has been from near about the start, soon as you began to speak yourself, soon as my Talik started coming clear.
Talik, you sure you want
Shite of a lot of good I’m like to bring you
Coming to find ‘intelligent’ was an undersell of you. An undersell as well, your saying you found the right words. Been speaking the best of em from the start, all credit to you and to the heart those words come forth from.
[ … ]
Won’t say it’s no amount of overwhelming, eh [ … ] all this. It’s no kind of deterrent neither, be clear on that. Tenacious I am and stubborn I remain, and all the more so knowing what you are, and how you’re at the heart of me.
Never given a toss what others think or say or [ … ] nay, that
[ … ]
Might need some eh assurances ahead through that malaise I spoke of, but I’ve no doubts you’re equal for that easing, and beyond.
Been a lot you’ve weathered your own self. A lot you’ve come through in spite of all that howls itself a storm.
No more taking it alone, aye Talik? Whatever complications and eh outside attentions bring to bear, you’ll have your Vevay there with you. 🧡
Can’t feign I’m much up on any meanings in that you’ve writ on. The gist’s there maybe
[ … ]
Might fuck around an
Clever bastard, him. Whether it is or ain’t coincidental.
Cleverer still, yourself, and a more fully valiant man I’ve never met. Felt it prior, and here’s only evidence further to its proving. Here, never let it be spoken you’ve shirked responsibility, christ alive.
Admirable, I say again, and being clear, there’s little more attractive nor commendable than a man acting his principles and keeping with his heart. Fuck me running or and otherwise, how many times yet’re you going to set me falling?
Infinite, I’m guessing, and I’ll take and I’ll keep every one.
What I mean to say’s there’s nothing to keep me from my Talik, nor to keep that being of ours secret.
Edited 2024-02-21 22:08 (UTC)
Truth's out on that one then, hey?
[ ... ]
God's green aegis willing, it's nothing lasting much longer a time. Nothing he ought to've borne so long as is, but then I'm gleaning you're aware.
[ ... ]
He knows about you and Darius now, or that still kept in hush?
Regardless. Beginning to think I might need to bribe Lolly to keep after you, drag you off bodily as need decides, or else ask Rin for running interference. Maybe not the worst approach, there. Get them going and she'll have no word edgewise to ask
Didn't realize you knew the ketty wank of a woman she is. My mistake not asking ahead of my effusions, true, but ey fuck me if what I'm feeling don't need voicing, even to Burn Bridge's most indiscreet son
[ ... ]
Speaking of, you know I'd not survive a day as step father to you, the rings you'd run around me and the shite you'dve pulled
Nor's there ever been a man worth Moira's salt. She was the best of them, your mother. 'Them' here meaning anyone, course
[ ... ]
God's green aegis willing, it's nothing lasting much longer a time. Nothing he ought to've borne so long as is, but then I'm gleaning you're aware.
[ ... ]
He knows about you and Darius now, or that still kept in hush?
Regardless. Beginning to think I might need to bribe Lolly to keep after you, drag you off bodily as need decides, or else ask Rin for running interference. Maybe not the worst approach, there. Get them going and she'll have no word edgewise to ask
Didn't realize you knew the ketty wank of a woman she is. My mistake not asking ahead of my effusions, true, but ey fuck me if what I'm feeling don't need voicing, even to Burn Bridge's most indiscreet son
[ ... ]
Speaking of, you know I'd not survive a day as step father to you, the rings you'd run around me and the shite you'dve pulled
Nor's there ever been a man worth Moira's salt. She was the best of them, your mother. 'Them' here meaning anyone, course
Ey, David.
Writ anything interesting and internationally published these past years?
Writ anything interesting and internationally published these past years?
The name isn't a coincidence. I enjoyed working together with him; it began as a [...]
Ah, but if you don't know, perhaps I'll leave him to explain for himself. It would serve him right for keeping secrets. Find a very good and uncomfortable moment to ask him, won't you?
To that, I don't expect you to understand the text. It would be like asking me to know how to play the cello. I never learned, so how could I be expected to understand it like you do, eh?
I can explain it to you in depth if you like, but truly, the [...] basic meaning, the 'gist'? That word. The gist is that we explain why it's not only ethical, but a moral obligation to assassinate those who abuse power, particularly when their reach is global.
No one in particular, of course. ...Although there are certainly examples based on current situations in countries with which we're familiar.
[...]
I wouldn't call it boldness. Certain governments would like to see us all dead. The difference is only that those specific governments now know my name.
You should see the shit I say on X about them.
Now, I've answered to that and would like to talk about your malaise, my Vevay. Not the cause, but rather how I can help. What soothes you, коханий? Even if I can't manage it all now, I'd like to know for the days when you're beside me.
I want to comfort you the way you comfort me.
Time and patience? I can give you all you need and hold you near until it passes. If you're willing to remain with me through all the turmoil to come, the least I can do is offer you peace in my arms.
Even if malaise hasn't struck yet, please, help me be ready to help keep you from overwhelm. From the wrong sort of falling! You should only ever feel the right sort; do you suppose I could give you that every day? Renewed falling, but never into sorrow?
[...]
I have a guess at why it might hang over you - your malaise - at least in this instance. Perhaps it's the same reason fretfulness comes over me when I think of the brilliance of you?
You seem to think highly of me.
[...]
I wish I could speak with you; somewhere private, somewhere that we could be alone and feel surety together. I want to see your eyes and kiss your hands. To tell you all you are to me. I think there's no amount of texting either of us may do to drive doubts away, but I know if only I could hold you, there would be no room for doubt at all.
Here, then, is my guess:
Nova, you are not an academic. This is true. Before I say more of you, let me say this: academia is no indicator of intelligence, capability, or a good personality. In fact, the opposite is so often true.
You are clever. You're intelligent. I read it in every word. You have such charming slyness, such sharp comprehension of the world. (And still, you face this terrible world with such determined optimism!)
You have cleverness in your hands, as well: to fix what's broken, to draw music from instruments I would be terrified to touch.
Nova, you're loyal and loving, as well, and these are so rare.
You stimulate me - ah, intellectually, here. But yes, the other way, as well. Anything I've felt necessary to explain has been contextual only. Have you noticed this?
I have.
You are brilliance itself, my Vevay. My boyfriend. 💙
If your malaise insists on ignoring me, well, I'll find other words to fill the hours until I can be with you and help you forget you were anything butlov cherished for all that you are.
Ah, but if you don't know, perhaps I'll leave him to explain for himself. It would serve him right for keeping secrets. Find a very good and uncomfortable moment to ask him, won't you?
To that, I don't expect you to understand the text. It would be like asking me to know how to play the cello. I never learned, so how could I be expected to understand it like you do, eh?
I can explain it to you in depth if you like, but truly, the [...] basic meaning, the 'gist'? That word. The gist is that we explain why it's not only ethical, but a moral obligation to assassinate those who abuse power, particularly when their reach is global.
No one in particular, of course. ...Although there are certainly examples based on current situations in countries with which we're familiar.
[...]
I wouldn't call it boldness. Certain governments would like to see us all dead. The difference is only that those specific governments now know my name.
Now, I've answered to that and would like to talk about your malaise, my Vevay. Not the cause, but rather how I can help. What soothes you, коханий? Even if I can't manage it all now, I'd like to know for the days when you're beside me.
I want to comfort you the way you comfort me.
Time and patience? I can give you all you need and hold you near until it passes. If you're willing to remain with me through all the turmoil to come, the least I can do is offer you peace in my arms.
Even if malaise hasn't struck yet, please, help me be ready to help keep you from overwhelm. From the wrong sort of falling! You should only ever feel the right sort; do you suppose I could give you that every day? Renewed falling, but never into sorrow?
[...]
I have a guess at why it might hang over you - your malaise - at least in this instance. Perhaps it's the same reason fretfulness comes over me when I think of the brilliance of you?
You seem to think highly of me.
[...]
I wish I could speak with you; somewhere private, somewhere that we could be alone and feel surety together. I want to see your eyes and kiss your hands. To tell you all you are to me. I think there's no amount of texting either of us may do to drive doubts away, but I know if only I could hold you, there would be no room for doubt at all.
Here, then, is my guess:
Nova, you are not an academic. This is true. Before I say more of you, let me say this: academia is no indicator of intelligence, capability, or a good personality. In fact, the opposite is so often true.
You are clever. You're intelligent. I read it in every word. You have such charming slyness, such sharp comprehension of the world. (And still, you face this terrible world with such determined optimism!)
You have cleverness in your hands, as well: to fix what's broken, to draw music from instruments I would be terrified to touch.
Nova, you're loyal and loving, as well, and these are so rare.
You stimulate me - ah, intellectually, here. But yes, the other way, as well. Anything I've felt necessary to explain has been contextual only. Have you noticed this?
I have.
You are brilliance itself, my Vevay. My boyfriend. 💙
If your malaise insists on ignoring me, well, I'll find other words to fill the hours until I can be with you and help you forget you were anything but
I would be exceptionally pleased to find sleep apart from restlessness and agitation.
[...]
You are some of the cause, after all. The solution to that particular agitation would make me forget all the rest.
For a few perfect hours, anyway.
[...]
You are some of the cause, after all. The solution to that particular agitation would make me forget all the rest.
For a few perfect hours, anyway.
[...]
'David'? Are we roleplaying stepfather and son?
What the fuck are you on ab-
[...]
Fucking Vitaly.
I never should have used that name, but people know all my others. I didn't anticipate the one or two who did know them would suddenly develop an interest in Marxist theory.
Or my co-author's cock.
I swear to Christ, if you tell Rin before I have the wherewithal, I'll tell Vitaly what you did to that innocent, unsuspecting cucumber.
'David'? Are we roleplaying stepfather and son?
What the fuck are you on ab-
[...]
Fucking Vitaly.
I never should have used that name, but people know all my others. I didn't anticipate the one or two who did know them would suddenly develop an interest in Marxist theory.
Or my co-author's cock.
I swear to Christ, if you tell Rin before I have the wherewithal, I'll tell Vitaly what you did to that innocent, unsuspecting cucumber.
Madeline has made a point of getting to know all of Vitaly's friends, which, in hindsight, ought to have been clocked.
Poor fucker.
[...]
He's got a son. There's news. I suppose you're stepfather material, after all.
No, he doesn't know yet. I'll tell him, but I'd like to decide who else ought to be brought into the know of the family shame, or if I should just let it be a matter of public interest.
[...]
And yes, she was a saint and I won't hear otherwise. [...]
I do [...] miss her.
Odd moment to begin missing my mum more poignantly than usual, but [...] when else should one miss a good woman if not at odd hours?
She would be disgustingly proud of you, you realize.
Poor fucker.
[...]
No, he doesn't know yet. I'll tell him, but I'd like to decide who else ought to be brought into the know of the family shame, or if I should just let it be a matter of public interest.
[...]
And yes, she was a saint and I won't hear otherwise. [...]
I do [...] miss her.
Odd moment to begin missing my mum more poignantly than usual, but [...] when else should one miss a good woman if not at odd hours?
She would be disgustingly proud of you, you realize.
One thing more -
You asked for more photographs of me, and you've sent so many of you for me to admire.
[...]
I've found two that you might like. I'm guessing at the things you appreciate -
Somewhat.
One is from dinner last night.
[ That's what he sends first; in the picture, Vitaly is dressed in a suit, though he had removed the coat by this time, leaving only a vest over a blue-checked shirt. He's seated somewhere out of the way, his long legs stretched and ankles crossed, giving a clear view of the hardened leanness of his body. What drew him from whatever this 'dinner' actually was is obviously some preoccupation with his phone. The vape he's using is probably just an excuse to take a few minutes to text. He's smiling faintly around an exhalation of vapor as though amused by something that's been said. ]
And two weeks ago, before the universe became beautifully altered from the addition of a new star:
[ This photo is obvious pandering: a gym selfie, his body cast in shadowy definition by overhead lights. Just like his back, his chest and stomach are well-muscled and tattooed.
(Oddly, his expression is one of disinterest, as though the photo is just something one does and not worth any kind of enjoyment or focus.)
As an afterthought, he sends another photo from the same day.
It shows Oleksei, Andrii, and Vitaly together in a gym; both brothers wear tank tops and basketball shorts, while Oleksei's clothing of choice is a t-shirt and track pants. All three appear sweaty and flushed; Oleksei is leaning against a wall and smoking a cigarette, which seems to be drawing no attention at all. Andrii is shouting - possibly encouragingly? - while Vitaly deadlifts what looks to be Quite A Lot. He's nearly at the top of the lift, teeth bared either in effort or at his brother. ]
You asked for more photographs of me, and you've sent so many of you for me to admire.
[...]
I've found two that you might like. I'm guessing at the things you appreciate -
Somewhat.
One is from dinner last night.
[ That's what he sends first; in the picture, Vitaly is dressed in a suit, though he had removed the coat by this time, leaving only a vest over a blue-checked shirt. He's seated somewhere out of the way, his long legs stretched and ankles crossed, giving a clear view of the hardened leanness of his body. What drew him from whatever this 'dinner' actually was is obviously some preoccupation with his phone. The vape he's using is probably just an excuse to take a few minutes to text. He's smiling faintly around an exhalation of vapor as though amused by something that's been said. ]
And two weeks ago, before the universe became beautifully altered from the addition of a new star:
[ This photo is obvious pandering: a gym selfie, his body cast in shadowy definition by overhead lights. Just like his back, his chest and stomach are well-muscled and tattooed.
(Oddly, his expression is one of disinterest, as though the photo is just something one does and not worth any kind of enjoyment or focus.)
As an afterthought, he sends another photo from the same day.
It shows Oleksei, Andrii, and Vitaly together in a gym; both brothers wear tank tops and basketball shorts, while Oleksei's clothing of choice is a t-shirt and track pants. All three appear sweaty and flushed; Oleksei is leaning against a wall and smoking a cigarette, which seems to be drawing no attention at all. Andrii is shouting - possibly encouragingly? - while Vitaly deadlifts what looks to be Quite A Lot. He's nearly at the top of the lift, teeth bared either in effort or at his brother. ]
Edited 2024-02-22 00:12 (UTC)
Aye well fuck
[ … ]
[ … ]
Saving each of those for my repeat viewing and my phone’s backgrounds alike.
Did you guess well at my appreciations fuck me that you did, and that’s you giving a man a course in how to fail his breathing three times over
You in that vest alone’s got me agitated my own self and all over again.
Ey but who you messaging with there, Talik? c;
Blue’s a good colour on you, saying it now, though I’m not sure there’s any wouldn’t flatter.
Added to which you’ve given your Vevay an eyeful of additional tattoos to think on tracing, aye slow in touch and leaning in to breathe you nestle at your skin with each, then a kiss for my Talik’s lips each time after.
Each time after and likely in between, mid tracing. Happens you’ve got lips to kill a man and asking to be kissed, on top of all else.
Also Right so for sake of curiosity Just cause I’m wondering say I take an academic interest
Ah fuck it, here’s the question: Just how much can you lift jesus shite
[ … ]
[ … ]
Saving each of those for my repeat viewing and my phone’s backgrounds alike.
Did you guess well at my appreciations fuck me that you did, and that’s you giving a man a course in how to fail his breathing three times over
You in that vest alone’s got me agitated my own self and all over again.
Ey but who you messaging with there, Talik? c;
Blue’s a good colour on you, saying it now, though I’m not sure there’s any wouldn’t flatter.
Added to which you’ve given your Vevay an eyeful of additional tattoos to think on tracing, aye slow in touch and leaning in to breathe you nestle at your skin with each, then a kiss for my Talik’s lips each time after.
Each time after and likely in between, mid tracing. Happens you’ve got lips to kill a man and asking to be kissed, on top of all else.
Ah fuck it, here’s the question: Just how much can you lift jesus shite
I’d like to hear the depths of it, spoke in your voice for as long as you care to explain it. Your book, or any other cogitations my Talik’s got wrapped in himself. Whatever I do or don’t catch hold of, truth is I’m eager for hearing what catches in your thinking and all the ways you tell it. Truth is there’s nothing you can tell me I won’t value, and nothing you hold that I’d not follow you through.
Aye, and can’t deny I’ve, eh, let’s say appreciation for the follow through on moral obligations where grand scale harm’s at hand. Grand scale or smaller, true, point being there’s causes of destruction can’t be borne.
No fault to yourself there being particular exemplars of bloodied malfeasance.
True to say I’m sure those exemplars wouldn’t see it so, but fuck em thricewise for thinking themselves above denouncing.
Eh, was going to else what else you may’ve writ, but I’ve got this power of web search at my fingertips, and my supposition’s you don’t make much a habit of aliases.
Related to the matter of nonexistent and existent aliases, fact is I couldn’t hold onto that query and put the screws to Senan David already. Makes sense anyrate, he in his argumentative philosopher punk glories, good for him and good for yourself both, that collaborating.
[ … ]
You ever meet his mother? Asking only as her name came up with Wilco, and you’d’ve liked her. Eh, anyone’d be hard pressed not to, and maybe what I mean’s I like to think you’d met her so here I’m asking.
[ … ]
Right so.
Thinking it’s not necessity telling you you’ve got me on that cause for my malaise. That’d be one of the mains, aye, far as causes go.
The others, eh. Likely you can guess their shape as well. Got a lot to do with why there’s not much else in the way of locales I’ve inhabited. Not speaking evasive here, only that’s another set of tangents and there’s the immediate for discussing now.
It ain’t strange to me, what you’re speaking. In logic’s terms, it’s no far stretch believing there’s a fair number of eh academics walking around head up the arse spouting nonsense. Open up a headline or fuck help me so much as catch a glimpse of any program purporting news, you’ll hear plenty from them on the daily. There’s cases where academic titling means mostly a shite opinion’s apt to be taken with a weight it’s no cause to keep. Case in point Ursula fuckin Hancock with her five degrees and a handbag full of columns for titling her malignance sound sense. Boggles the mind, it does. Or would were it not for knowing the loudest contingent of this fuck of a country’s its most rabid, any case. Fucking ‘Britain losing the next world war on account of it’s too woke to fight’ rot.
Aye, but logic and knowing’s one thing, feeling and knowing’s another, particularly in the, eh application to one’s self. Which I’d wager’s nothing strange to you.
Something for you and I alike to hold for one another, could be? Assurance where the self’s uncertain. Assertion for what circumstance and outside radges have played against. Malaise and moods’ve got no chance holding up against ourselves, I’m thinking.
[ … ]
A fact for you. That last message I sent, just after eh, first looking at those links you sent. Spent a lot of that one second guessing what it was I wrote. Deleted near as much as I let stand. Dwelt too long on what to say and how to say it, and whether I was, eh, putting on some fronting.
No fault of yours, goes without saying but I say it anyway. Fuck of a trip a mind’ll play on a bloke when it starts its gnawing.
Point I’m coming to is I’ve done none of that here. No rethinking and no hesitations. No falling to the eh jaws or maw of worry, and that’s a fast turnaround for myself, and credit speaks to you.
You’re a good man, Talik. Good in the ways many claim without reaching, speaking ‘good’ in ways more ought aspire to and work toward.
Good for your Vevay, that’s so. Speaking with you, thinking on you’s breathing fresh life and turns the world wider again, and welcoming.
Far as comforting goes, you’ve given that in spades already. Won’t say I’ve not got my self doubts still, but they’ve gone quieter. Significantly so. Hard for em to speak so loud when I’ve got your voice talking acclaim upon me, assuring all that’s well and drawing thorns out from my heart.
There’s that for you, as well, that you’re a good heart’s keeper, and better far than ‘good’ can compass.
Wouldn’t say no to your hold or your arms, and I’m in agreement with you there, that there’ll be no doubts left for knowing once I’m with you, near and up against you. Words’ll bat off worries, and it’s truth your words comfort me further than any speech or touch I’ve known before, simpatico’s what you are with me or I with you, but there’s much to be said for presence, eyes and hands and heartbeats.
Twelve days, Talik, twelve days.
Aye, and can’t deny I’ve, eh, let’s say appreciation for the follow through on moral obligations where grand scale harm’s at hand. Grand scale or smaller, true, point being there’s causes of destruction can’t be borne.
No fault to yourself there being particular exemplars of bloodied malfeasance.
True to say I’m sure those exemplars wouldn’t see it so, but fuck em thricewise for thinking themselves above denouncing.
Eh, was going to else what else you may’ve writ, but I’ve got this power of web search at my fingertips, and my supposition’s you don’t make much a habit of aliases.
Related to the matter of nonexistent and existent aliases, fact is I couldn’t hold onto that query and put the screws to Senan David already. Makes sense anyrate, he in his argumentative philosopher punk glories, good for him and good for yourself both, that collaborating.
[ … ]
You ever meet his mother? Asking only as her name came up with Wilco, and you’d’ve liked her. Eh, anyone’d be hard pressed not to, and maybe what I mean’s I like to think you’d met her so here I’m asking.
[ … ]
Right so.
Thinking it’s not necessity telling you you’ve got me on that cause for my malaise. That’d be one of the mains, aye, far as causes go.
The others, eh. Likely you can guess their shape as well. Got a lot to do with why there’s not much else in the way of locales I’ve inhabited. Not speaking evasive here, only that’s another set of tangents and there’s the immediate for discussing now.
It ain’t strange to me, what you’re speaking. In logic’s terms, it’s no far stretch believing there’s a fair number of eh academics walking around head up the arse spouting nonsense. Open up a headline or fuck help me so much as catch a glimpse of any program purporting news, you’ll hear plenty from them on the daily. There’s cases where academic titling means mostly a shite opinion’s apt to be taken with a weight it’s no cause to keep. Case in point Ursula fuckin Hancock with her five degrees and a handbag full of columns for titling her malignance sound sense. Boggles the mind, it does. Or would were it not for knowing the loudest contingent of this fuck of a country’s its most rabid, any case. Fucking ‘Britain losing the next world war on account of it’s too woke to fight’ rot.
Aye, but logic and knowing’s one thing, feeling and knowing’s another, particularly in the, eh application to one’s self. Which I’d wager’s nothing strange to you.
Something for you and I alike to hold for one another, could be? Assurance where the self’s uncertain. Assertion for what circumstance and outside radges have played against. Malaise and moods’ve got no chance holding up against ourselves, I’m thinking.
[ … ]
A fact for you. That last message I sent, just after eh, first looking at those links you sent. Spent a lot of that one second guessing what it was I wrote. Deleted near as much as I let stand. Dwelt too long on what to say and how to say it, and whether I was, eh, putting on some fronting.
No fault of yours, goes without saying but I say it anyway. Fuck of a trip a mind’ll play on a bloke when it starts its gnawing.
Point I’m coming to is I’ve done none of that here. No rethinking and no hesitations. No falling to the eh jaws or maw of worry, and that’s a fast turnaround for myself, and credit speaks to you.
You’re a good man, Talik. Good in the ways many claim without reaching, speaking ‘good’ in ways more ought aspire to and work toward.
Good for your Vevay, that’s so. Speaking with you, thinking on you’s breathing fresh life and turns the world wider again, and welcoming.
Far as comforting goes, you’ve given that in spades already. Won’t say I’ve not got my self doubts still, but they’ve gone quieter. Significantly so. Hard for em to speak so loud when I’ve got your voice talking acclaim upon me, assuring all that’s well and drawing thorns out from my heart.
There’s that for you, as well, that you’re a good heart’s keeper, and better far than ‘good’ can compass.
Wouldn’t say no to your hold or your arms, and I’m in agreement with you there, that there’ll be no doubts left for knowing once I’m with you, near and up against you. Words’ll bat off worries, and it’s truth your words comfort me further than any speech or touch I’ve known before, simpatico’s what you are with me or I with you, but there’s much to be said for presence, eyes and hands and heartbeats.
Twelve days, Talik, twelve days.
Happens those clever hands of mine have a world of talents yet unspoke.
Happens those hands have cleverness to show and spare, all for my Talik.
Twelve days, or twelve days and however long’s needed, and I mean to show you all these hands can do. c;
Happens those hands have cleverness to show and spare, all for my Talik.
Twelve days, or twelve days and however long’s needed, and I mean to show you all these hands can do. c;
No cause cursing Vitaly, hey? No fault of his you've got tried and trues for aliases, all the man did was mention the book. Didn't take much figuring to connect yrself with your own name, and then the subject far's I can tell's precisely like yours for speaking.
Fair's also fair, whilst you may not've anticipated that interest in your coauthor's cock or and every other part of him, might've seen this one coming a day or few ago.
Said he enjoyed working with you, ftr. Nor did he elaborate, left it yours to tell or otherwise.
Far as errant cucumbers go, wouldn't count on any shame from my front. Vegetables is vegetables, no crimes to be named. That said I ain't about to tell Rin, particularly seeing as I'm working on regaining a good grace or two of theirs, and any case it's yours to tell as wherewithal permits and sound sense advises.
Man of mystery you are, Senan, and that's a fact.
Aye well. Man of mystery, son to a saint and I'd not dare nor dream to call her different.
You writing that book and speaking your thoughts to Rin. You carrying on through all the tangles and what your liver set against you. She always was proud of you, and'd be prouder still on the daily.
[ ... ]
Got me sobered and half myself toward tears, what you said. [ ... ] Her being proud, fuck you very much and aye, my thanks.
I'll be visiting her tomorrow. Anything particular you want said?
I'd give my apologies stirring up absence of an hour this sort, but she's a woman asks remembering, aye, and I can't think you mind it so much. [ ... ] There are some well worth the pains of missing, that's so.
Fair's also fair, whilst you may not've anticipated that interest in your coauthor's cock or and every other part of him, might've seen this one coming a day or few ago.
Said he enjoyed working with you, ftr. Nor did he elaborate, left it yours to tell or otherwise.
Far as errant cucumbers go, wouldn't count on any shame from my front. Vegetables is vegetables, no crimes to be named. That said I ain't about to tell Rin, particularly seeing as I'm working on regaining a good grace or two of theirs, and any case it's yours to tell as wherewithal permits and sound sense advises.
Man of mystery you are, Senan, and that's a fact.
Aye well. Man of mystery, son to a saint and I'd not dare nor dream to call her different.
You writing that book and speaking your thoughts to Rin. You carrying on through all the tangles and what your liver set against you. She always was proud of you, and'd be prouder still on the daily.
[ ... ]
Got me sobered and half myself toward tears, what you said. [ ... ] Her being proud, fuck you very much and aye, my thanks.
I'll be visiting her tomorrow. Anything particular you want said?
I'd give my apologies stirring up absence of an hour this sort, but she's a woman asks remembering, aye, and I can't think you mind it so much. [ ... ] There are some well worth the pains of missing, that's so.
Eh fuck it's a fruit, isn't it? Cucumbers, fuckin seeds. Plant of some form, w/e
[ ... ]
Finding more n more there's naught wrong in my dislike for that Madeline, even if dislike's putting it weakish. Wasn't fucking about from the start, was she?
Jesus.
[ ... ]
Fucks me off, what she took from him. Took to grinding down beneath her heel, but it's not end, that, and the sounds say she'll be over soon. He's speaking with with Darius (fuck me, your brother after all, fits right into sense if I'm being honest and I'd imagine anyone knows the pair of you'd say similar), got to think that's leading somewhere toward solution.
Fingers crossed and sights set, anyrate, and I swear to you Senan the man's a wonder to behold. Eh, aye, visually speaking and beyond as well, far beyond. Never seen a soul I better liked, nor a heart more toward my keeping.
[ ... ]
Didn't realize he's got such a name for himself.
Thing of it is, there's nothing in him makes me feel unready, and nowhere I'd not go for him. So there's that for that.
[ ... ]
Finding more n more there's naught wrong in my dislike for that Madeline, even if dislike's putting it weakish. Wasn't fucking about from the start, was she?
Jesus.
[ ... ]
Fucks me off, what she took from him. Took to grinding down beneath her heel, but it's not end, that, and the sounds say she'll be over soon. He's speaking with with Darius (fuck me, your brother after all, fits right into sense if I'm being honest and I'd imagine anyone knows the pair of you'd say similar), got to think that's leading somewhere toward solution.
Fingers crossed and sights set, anyrate, and I swear to you Senan the man's a wonder to behold. Eh, aye, visually speaking and beyond as well, far beyond. Never seen a soul I better liked, nor a heart more toward my keeping.
[ ... ]
Didn't realize he's got such a name for himself.
Thing of it is, there's nothing in him makes me feel unready, and nowhere I'd not go for him. So there's that for that.
I beg your fucking pardon.
Let it be known that I sincerely hope - though I will not remotely be holding my breath - one of you has an adequate explanation for the years-past news I've only just now learned. Let it be known as well I've been informed courtesy of various news outlets via searches endeavored, rather than having been granted the courtesy of a single word from either Dr. Vitaly Kozak or D o c t o r S.D. Altair.
Shitheads, the both of you.
You and your anarchic fucking assholery.
(Before you speak a fucking word, Kozak I know you had cause for your silence until recently, but I'd be terribly interested knowing why the man who shares my alter ego surnameas well as my godsdamned blood has held his smug fucking peace on this count.)
Let it be known that I sincerely hope - though I will not remotely be holding my breath - one of you has an adequate explanation for the years-past news I've only just now learned. Let it be known as well I've been informed courtesy of various news outlets via searches endeavored, rather than having been granted the courtesy of a single word from either Dr. Vitaly Kozak or D o c t o r S.D. Altair.
Shitheads, the both of you.
You and your anarchic fucking assholery.
(Before you speak a fucking word, Kozak I know you had cause for your silence until recently, but I'd be terribly interested knowing why the man who shares my alter ego surname
Edited 2024-02-23 02:11 (UTC)
[ A moment, then two, then he sends another photo, this time a selfie. He's sitting slouched down on a sofa in a flattering green shirt, his eyes uplifted in question and a vape at his lips.
He knows what he did. ]
I don't think anything I'd like do to you would kill you.
[...]
Would you do something for me, Vevay? To help me make a point, nothing more.
On the small of your back nearer to your waist, there's a vine that curls upward but follows the curves of your body very well. It's magnificent artistry.
Would you trace it with you finger, please, to establish the sensation of it?
[...]
Or, rather, to establish what I mean when I say I'd like to trace it also. Lightly, with the tip of my tongue.
I think I'll grow very fond of that vine's taste.
He knows what he did. ]
I don't think anything I'd like do to you would kill you.
[...]
Would you do something for me, Vevay? To help me make a point, nothing more.
On the small of your back nearer to your waist, there's a vine that curls upward but follows the curves of your body very well. It's magnificent artistry.
Would you trace it with you finger, please, to establish the sensation of it?
[...]
Or, rather, to establish what I mean when I say I'd like to trace it also. Lightly, with the tip of my tongue.
I think I'll grow very fond of that vine's taste.
Ursula -
Darius's ex-wife? Someone allowed her a public platform?
I've had the good fortune not to interact with her in years, but that horrible woman is the one who introduced me to Madeline. That sort of rhetoric doesn't surprise me, considering the source.
If anything is wrong with the world, it's people like her who use their voices to protect their positions of privilege. [...] A tirade from which I'll refrain. I think I wouldn't be saying anything new to your ears.
I never did meet Senan's mother, but I've heard nothing but good of her over the years. I remember how hard it was for him when she died.
For the rest -
I'm honored you feel soothed by me, and proud of you, Nova. My Vevay, how fortunate I am to know you and know that you take my words to heart.
I'd like that moment, malaise and reassurance, to be the shape of any sorrow you feel. If you'll let me, as I'll let you, be a reason for comfort.
[...]
You mentioned locales you've inhabited; it's no tangent. It's to do with you, and I want to know all of you if you'll share with me.
We can talk of anything you like, as long as I have words from my Vevay.
Darius's ex-wife? Someone allowed her a public platform?
I've had the good fortune not to interact with her in years, but that horrible woman is the one who introduced me to Madeline. That sort of rhetoric doesn't surprise me, considering the source.
If anything is wrong with the world, it's people like her who use their voices to protect their positions of privilege. [...] A tirade from which I'll refrain. I think I wouldn't be saying anything new to your ears.
I never did meet Senan's mother, but I've heard nothing but good of her over the years. I remember how hard it was for him when she died.
For the rest -
I'm honored you feel soothed by me, and proud of you, Nova. My Vevay, how fortunate I am to know you and know that you take my words to heart.
I'd like that moment, malaise and reassurance, to be the shape of any sorrow you feel. If you'll let me, as I'll let you, be a reason for comfort.
[...]
You mentioned locales you've inhabited; it's no tangent. It's to do with you, and I want to know all of you if you'll share with me.
We can talk of anything you like, as long as I have words from my Vevay.
Ah, you asked a question: how much can I lift.
[...]
Do you want a serious answer, or may I say only that I can lift you easily?
;)
[...]
Honest answer? 205.
[...]
Kilograms.
[...]
Do you want a serious answer, or may I say only that I can lift you easily?
;)
[...]
Honest answer? 205.
[...]
Kilograms.
Edited 2024-02-23 02:31 (UTC)
[Vitaly:] Oh, you finished your dissertation! Congratulations, Senan!
[Sen:] Not how I cared to break the news. [...] I didn't think to mention the book or my doctorate. It didn't seem relevant. Now it's becoming relevant in ways that cause me to suppose I may need to speak with Rin very quickly.
[Vitaly:] You didn't tell Rin?
[Sen:] I didn't tell anyone at all.
[Vitaly:] Don't make a habit of such omissions. Your liver, this book, it isn't wise. And Darius, forgive me for not mentioning. Even if we weren't precisely speaking, I could have sent a copy to you. I know you'd have read it. [...] You would have thrown it in a trash can first, but fished it out again out of curiosity.
[Sen:] Not how I cared to break the news. [...] I didn't think to mention the book or my doctorate. It didn't seem relevant. Now it's becoming relevant in ways that cause me to suppose I may need to speak with Rin very quickly.
[Vitaly:] You didn't tell Rin?
[Sen:] I didn't tell anyone at all.
[Vitaly:] Don't make a habit of such omissions. Your liver, this book, it isn't wise. And Darius, forgive me for not mentioning. Even if we weren't precisely speaking, I could have sent a copy to you. I know you'd have read it. [...] You would have thrown it in a trash can first, but fished it out again out of curiosity.
Nay you can’t be
Fuckin mistake somewhere in here must be or I’m
[ … ]
[ … ]
I’ll [ … ] take a leap here and say it’s too much for hoping that the Ursula you’re meaning and the one I’m speaking could be other than the same.
[ … ]
Nay. The time fits right, thinking on it. She with her loud n proud platform these last four five years past sobbing on about the grand old English tradition xenophobic transphobic horse shite, not much a name hereabouts prior, not that I’d heard.
Knew Darius’d been married and split. Heard her name, might’ve done.
Hadn’t connected the two.
So much is what I get not tracking the goings and doings of friends, acquaintances, the like. Busy at the time and all, disinclined toward travel, but then that’s no excuse for lack of knowing.
[ … ]
Fuck me, but that’s rotten from her, and that’s wreckage wrought for you, Talik.
Small world it is sometimes. Small fucking world.
Would’ve been best for all setting the both of them to sea, let em sort themselves out one to one.
Only once your Sergiy came to being, mind. [ … ] I’ll give her that one thing, little credit though I’d say she’s due.
Devil take the both of the, Ursula, Madeline, and all their like beside.
Taking a moment here, more like taking a good five to ten here refixing on that first and third message. Giving myself a pause, unbreathing and unstill pause that it is, taking in the both.
[ … ]
205 kilos fuck you ain’t taking the piss and I’m
[ … ]
[ … ]
Fuckin lost’s what I am. Aye, well that’s no news. Call it a fresh iteration of a song I'm growin to know like my own marrow, got me queasy at the knees, shite.
[ … ]
Well. Photos and statements is one thing. No saying I doubt you but eh, for purposes of cementing into proof, well
Guess you’ll have to prove it, hey?
Before or after giving up the trace of that tongue.
Before or after I’ve given you my own, and aye, we’ve much to trail upon and linger over, turn toward combustion and its easiness to follow, arms in arms, yourself wrapped with my own.
Back to say, by way of showing, might be you’ll give your Vevay a lift, show how easy it is, just how flat ridic strong my Talik’s made hisself
🥴🧡??
Worth noting you’ve got me both blushing and shivered again. Worth noting as well, I’m wagering you know as much, and intended the very same.
Well played to you, Talik, well played and ardently approved, with a sigh, aye, call it properly a moan spoke to your name 🧡🧡
[ … ]
205 kilos fuck you ain’t taking the piss and I’m
[ … ]
[ … ]
Fuckin lost’s what I am. Aye, well that’s no news. Call it a fresh iteration of a song I'm growin to know like my own marrow, got me queasy at the knees, shite.
[ … ]
Well. Photos and statements is one thing. No saying I doubt you but eh, for purposes of cementing into proof, well
Guess you’ll have to prove it, hey?
Before or after giving up the trace of that tongue.
Before or after I’ve given you my own, and aye, we’ve much to trail upon and linger over, turn toward combustion and its easiness to follow, arms in arms, yourself wrapped with my own.
Back to say, by way of showing, might be you’ll give your Vevay a lift, show how easy it is, just how flat ridic strong my Talik’s made hisself
🥴🧡??
Worth noting you’ve got me both blushing and shivered again. Worth noting as well, I’m wagering you know as much, and intended the very same.
Well played to you, Talik, well played and ardently approved, with a sigh, aye, call it properly a moan spoke to your name 🧡🧡
The locales, you’re right it’s not so strict a tangent.
[ … ]
At risk of spillin overmuch in too small a time, or it’s true there’s no risk in it, not with you, I’m thinking.
[ … ]
Lived around Harrogate most my life, aye? Those early years took shapes nearer Essex, and there’ve been here and there months itinerant abroad, but those’ve been more rare than common, and my meaning’s I’ve made my life here and made my self known here. Won’t say there’ve not been troubles and won’t say it wasn’t a handful of scrapping early on, but I’ve got the troubling in hand years since, and for the main, folks around here’ve no quarrel with me.
Me being a man given to romantic relations regardless of gender, and me being a man who’s not always been called as such, and makes no secret of the facts.
[ … ]
Put it more direct, I’m a man, given, and I’m a man who’s trans, given as well. Small as this village is and its environs are, most folks here know as much and’ve come to accept its knowing. My knowing, aye. Means the road’s been not so rocky these last years, less immediate objecting to myself, more seeing me for the man I mean to be and am, have always been.
Not sure how I’ll translate elsewhere, is part my meaning and part my eh wariness. It’s nothing I ain’t equal to. Nothing not to be worked out or figured through, and I’ve no qualms about my capacity for this figuring. I’ve habits, might say strong developed talents of keeping up a front for those come bearing teeth to tear.
Just might need encouragement at times. Holding, aye, and reminding myself I ain’t so wrongheaded. Say it again, there’s knowing logically and there’s knowing in belief, and takes some time and working to unite. Meaning as well I know what I am and know the right in being it, the good in stating and showing it clear. Just sometimes crawl up into my head about myself and get a little tangled, aye.
You untangle me. Here and now you do, and have, and so I trust you will. Only [ … ] so you know, it’s not something entirely behind me.
Aye and related to which, can’t say I know how it’ll complicate your own affairs. I’d venture saying any media vultures given to harping on about the virtues of the het life might also take a dip to stances on the place of being trans, and taking partners with a man who’s trans.
Which I’d guess you’ve thought already. Bright man and thoughtful, that you are. You’d call none of this an obstacle, that much I believe and know with surety, only I’d feel [ … ] ill met, to reach for you without putting it clear, or clear as I can state it.
The rest of the malaise related’s got to do with experience spoke generally, about travel and traversing with those beyond one’s immediate countryfolk. Has as well to do with eh familiarity with money and its language or else its methods, which I’ll say and you’ve likely guessed, I’ve little enough to my counting. There’s plenty experience I’ve not had much brush with. Plenty I’ve yet to learn, and I’m not the least opposed to learning, but there’s knowledges and etiquettes I lack.
Also to say, there’s a lot of ways I might be reckoned less than, might be sighted as a target. None that I’d think in your holding, but your knowing the nonsense won’t stop others honing in.
[ … ]
That’s part of what I mean, aye. [ … ] And there’s the kids as well, and what I’ve failed in doing.
Figure that’s enough gloom or and doom for the moment being. None of what I’ve said here’s, eh [ … ] much I take to speaking regular. But fact remains I’d rather you know, have the heads up.Be able to measure for yourself whether your Vevay’s worth the
Fact remains as well it’s true you soothe me, true you reach me where and ways no other’s near approached.
There’s no better ease for my heart than your words or your self.
And no better place, I’ll dare and I’ll say, for your words, for your self than my heart.
[ … ]
At risk of spillin overmuch in too small a time, or it’s true there’s no risk in it, not with you, I’m thinking.
[ … ]
Lived around Harrogate most my life, aye? Those early years took shapes nearer Essex, and there’ve been here and there months itinerant abroad, but those’ve been more rare than common, and my meaning’s I’ve made my life here and made my self known here. Won’t say there’ve not been troubles and won’t say it wasn’t a handful of scrapping early on, but I’ve got the troubling in hand years since, and for the main, folks around here’ve no quarrel with me.
Me being a man given to romantic relations regardless of gender, and me being a man who’s not always been called as such, and makes no secret of the facts.
[ … ]
Put it more direct, I’m a man, given, and I’m a man who’s trans, given as well. Small as this village is and its environs are, most folks here know as much and’ve come to accept its knowing. My knowing, aye. Means the road’s been not so rocky these last years, less immediate objecting to myself, more seeing me for the man I mean to be and am, have always been.
Not sure how I’ll translate elsewhere, is part my meaning and part my eh wariness. It’s nothing I ain’t equal to. Nothing not to be worked out or figured through, and I’ve no qualms about my capacity for this figuring. I’ve habits, might say strong developed talents of keeping up a front for those come bearing teeth to tear.
Just might need encouragement at times. Holding, aye, and reminding myself I ain’t so wrongheaded. Say it again, there’s knowing logically and there’s knowing in belief, and takes some time and working to unite. Meaning as well I know what I am and know the right in being it, the good in stating and showing it clear. Just sometimes crawl up into my head about myself and get a little tangled, aye.
You untangle me. Here and now you do, and have, and so I trust you will. Only [ … ] so you know, it’s not something entirely behind me.
Aye and related to which, can’t say I know how it’ll complicate your own affairs. I’d venture saying any media vultures given to harping on about the virtues of the het life might also take a dip to stances on the place of being trans, and taking partners with a man who’s trans.
Which I’d guess you’ve thought already. Bright man and thoughtful, that you are. You’d call none of this an obstacle, that much I believe and know with surety, only I’d feel [ … ] ill met, to reach for you without putting it clear, or clear as I can state it.
The rest of the malaise related’s got to do with experience spoke generally, about travel and traversing with those beyond one’s immediate countryfolk. Has as well to do with eh familiarity with money and its language or else its methods, which I’ll say and you’ve likely guessed, I’ve little enough to my counting. There’s plenty experience I’ve not had much brush with. Plenty I’ve yet to learn, and I’m not the least opposed to learning, but there’s knowledges and etiquettes I lack.
Also to say, there’s a lot of ways I might be reckoned less than, might be sighted as a target. None that I’d think in your holding, but your knowing the nonsense won’t stop others honing in.
[ … ]
That’s part of what I mean, aye. [ … ] And there’s the kids as well, and what I’ve failed in doing.
Figure that’s enough gloom or and doom for the moment being. None of what I’ve said here’s, eh [ … ] much I take to speaking regular. But fact remains I’d rather you know, have the heads up.
Fact remains as well it’s true you soothe me, true you reach me where and ways no other’s near approached.
There’s no better ease for my heart than your words or your self.
And no better place, I’ll dare and I’ll say, for your words, for your self than my heart.
[...]
I understand. In a small way, I empathize with it. There's comfort in the familiar, and we may be tied to place by this comfort as well as felt obligations. Meanwhile, there are places that loom ominously before us, full of uncertainties and certainties alike. Rejection and violence, possible misery.
It's nothing you should have to endure.
[...]
I should speak more plainly. I mean Ukraine.
I showed you what the media has said about me because I want you to know I've caused scandals, or been embroiled in them, and that there are hazards no matter where I go. It wasn't because I expect you to come live with me in Kyiv or Odesa - although Odesa is very pleasant for holidays.
[...]
I'd like to [...] date with you.
No, that's not how to say it.Date to you
Date. I'd like to do this. But I believe eventually, I'd like to be with you more. Live with you, so of course this is something we should discuss. Where the bird and fish build a nest?
[...]
I would never ask you to live in Ukraine; even if there was no war, I wouldn't risk your well-being for the sake of national pride. I can be Ukrainian anywhere.
And before you say 'But, Talik, it's your home!', please note that the last home I kept in Kyiv is no longer standing - and I have had plenty of other homes.
Or - 'But, Talik, your career!'
I can write from any room in the world. The internet allows me the distinct pleasure of irritating dictators from California, if I please.
[...]
If you want to stay where you are, who am I to deny you your happiness and peace? It would be complicated for us, but I'd be with you any way you would allow. I'd make it work.
If we do someday live together, know that it would only be where you feel safe, happy, and able to be yourself.
[...]
Sergiy is a consideration now. This business with Darius's lawyers and my divorce could mean I have full custody, isn't that so? I don't want to [...] uproot him, and even if I did, I wouldn't uproot him to a place where children are stolen into Russia.
I mean to say, I may have to live in New York.
Well, and my parents might choose to do the same if it means they can be with their grandso
So, perhaps consider whether there are merits to living close to friends. Give it some thought while we're there, eh?
[...]
This other thing you said.
Knowledge and etiquette.
Is this because of me?
[...]
Forgive me. I'm trying to understand a point of origin for the concern, because I'm certain my sister sent you a video of me and my brothers wrestling on the ground like dogs
No, no, I think I do understand, and that's my fault
My Vevay. Let me be forthright with you. I don't care about your etiquette or knowledge or if you know how to behave with money. However, I don't think my saying so would matter much to you in situations where etiquette might seem important.
Let me say this instead.
Stay exactly as you are. Change nothing about your habits, your dress, your education for any reason save your own wishing.
You tell me if anyone at all makes you feel less than equal, less than the rarity that you are. Then you can watch me spit vodka in their face and tell them the ways they can get fucked.
You will never be acceptable to people who say you aren't acceptable now, as you are.
You are perfect in my eyes.
...Regarding familiarity with the language of money, well. When you have enough money to do what you want in whatever way you want, "fuck you" becomes a key phrase when the conversation arises, eh? So, practice this. "If you don't like it, fuck you."
Think about all the impotent rage burning in the hearts of the Ursula Hancocks and Madeline Holmwoods of the world because you, a tiny transgender man with a casual dialect and a wonderful ass, have invaded their elite circle. (And improved it.)
I understand. In a small way, I empathize with it. There's comfort in the familiar, and we may be tied to place by this comfort as well as felt obligations. Meanwhile, there are places that loom ominously before us, full of uncertainties and certainties alike. Rejection and violence, possible misery.
It's nothing you should have to endure.
[...]
I should speak more plainly. I mean Ukraine.
I showed you what the media has said about me because I want you to know I've caused scandals, or been embroiled in them, and that there are hazards no matter where I go. It wasn't because I expect you to come live with me in Kyiv or Odesa - although Odesa is very pleasant for holidays.
[...]
I'd like to [...] date with you.
No, that's not how to say it.
Date. I'd like to do this. But I believe eventually, I'd like to be with you more. Live with you, so of course this is something we should discuss. Where the bird and fish build a nest?
[...]
I would never ask you to live in Ukraine; even if there was no war, I wouldn't risk your well-being for the sake of national pride. I can be Ukrainian anywhere.
And before you say 'But, Talik, it's your home!', please note that the last home I kept in Kyiv is no longer standing - and I have had plenty of other homes.
Or - 'But, Talik, your career!'
I can write from any room in the world. The internet allows me the distinct pleasure of irritating dictators from California, if I please.
[...]
If you want to stay where you are, who am I to deny you your happiness and peace? It would be complicated for us, but I'd be with you any way you would allow. I'd make it work.
If we do someday live together, know that it would only be where you feel safe, happy, and able to be yourself.
[...]
Sergiy is a consideration now. This business with Darius's lawyers and my divorce could mean I have full custody, isn't that so? I don't want to [...] uproot him, and even if I did, I wouldn't uproot him to a place where children are stolen into Russia.
I mean to say, I may have to live in New York.
So, perhaps consider whether there are merits to living close to friends. Give it some thought while we're there, eh?
[...]
This other thing you said.
Knowledge and etiquette.
Is this because of me?
[...]
No, no, I think I do understand, and that's my fault
My Vevay. Let me be forthright with you. I don't care about your etiquette or knowledge or if you know how to behave with money. However, I don't think my saying so would matter much to you in situations where etiquette might seem important.
Let me say this instead.
Stay exactly as you are. Change nothing about your habits, your dress, your education for any reason save your own wishing.
You tell me if anyone at all makes you feel less than equal, less than the rarity that you are. Then you can watch me spit vodka in their face and tell them the ways they can get fucked.
You will never be acceptable to people who say you aren't acceptable now, as you are.
You are perfect in my eyes.
...Regarding familiarity with the language of money, well. When you have enough money to do what you want in whatever way you want, "fuck you" becomes a key phrase when the conversation arises, eh? So, practice this. "If you don't like it, fuck you."
Think about all the impotent rage burning in the hearts of the Ursula Hancocks and Madeline Holmwoods of the world because you, a tiny transgender man with a casual dialect and a wonderful ass, have invaded their elite circle. (And improved it.)
Edited 2024-02-23 06:10 (UTC)
I hadn't thought
I hadn't thought of you moaning my name.
I was shaken by the word texted to me by your hands, then by your voice around it. That you would moan it didn't enter into thought at all.
Now I can't stop thinking it, like a little sliver of glass under my skin. A splinter of thought.
How deep your voice is.
[...]
My heart is pounding, Vevay. I need [...] you. I need to be near you; I need to hear everything you do with my name.
Couple this longing with all the possibilities around 'lifting' you and I may lose all sense. I find myself asking if I should be wise and say nothing more, or if I should subject myself to the anxiety of having spoken something obscene for the sake of escalation.
Flirtation is one thing. Speaking of taste and vines and touches, it could all be innocent (somewhat.)
I do like the thought of you blushing and moaning far more than I dislike the rush of displeasure with myself.
[...]
A risk, then, for the sake of my name wrapped in the pleasured depths of your voice.
I told you what I would do with your hands; what I'd enjoy most is taking my time with you. Against a wall just that way, with your hands above your head.
And your legs over my shoulders.
That would take lifting, wouldn't it, коханий?
[...]
[...]
[...]
Yes, that was worth it. :)
Edited 2024-02-23 06:03 (UTC)
Take her moggy, please and thank you.
[...]
Tell her I'll be 'round to see her soon.
Tell her I'm not likely to see her for another twenty or so; seems I'll have to remain walking this earth a while yet. But I've married Rin and I'm happy.
And Rin misses her, likewise.
[...]
Fuck, I miss her. Might've said as much a thousand times before. For all the shite parenting in the world - for all that I had one absentee cunt of a father - I was lucky to have her.
I knew it, too, Nova-Love. Knew it and told her until she was sick of hearing it.
I have been remarkably fortunate in family and friends.
[...]
Or tell her I'm still a mardy arse - per the countless times I was called such for brooding over unrequited love.
Whatever suits the moment. Don't forget the moggy, though.
[...]
Tell her I'm not likely to see her for another twenty or so; seems I'll have to remain walking this earth a while yet. But I've married Rin and I'm happy.
And Rin misses her, likewise.
[...]
Fuck, I miss her. Might've said as much a thousand times before. For all the shite parenting in the world - for all that I had one absentee cunt of a father - I was lucky to have her.
I knew it, too, Nova-Love. Knew it and told her until she was sick of hearing it.
I have been remarkably fortunate in family and friends.
[...]
Or tell her I'm still a mardy arse - per the countless times I was called such for brooding over unrequited love.
Whatever suits the moment. Don't forget the moggy, though.
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