I understand your hesitance to tell straightaway that part of you. I've seen reactions to friends in the north - and in Russian, in England, in the U.S., in France. I [...] know how people react to me, and I am still "acceptable", save for my "deviancy".
People can survive "deviancy". Maybe with violence and broken ribs, but survive. People don't survive -
Well. Nevermind that. You know this, and don't need me to say it.
[...]
Please, let me tell you instead - I told Darius. When I was twenty-two, twenty-three. I told him and even knowing his tastes, I was fearful to say it without adding very quickly that I still feel attraction to women. Darius, whom I trust.
I only mean that I understand. I wish I didn't. I wish you also had no cause to understand.
[...]
May I be honest, without giving any offense or insult?
It isn't anything to me, your sex. I wouldn't be ashamed to walk down a street with you, or be seen [...] [...] in your arms. I think I would be proud to be beside you; look at your kind heart. Look at your sensibility, your tenderness, your joy. Look at your ass.
A wise man I know said: Christ alive.
Yes, and there is - a supposition. [...] If, someday, you would want to know me better than 'well', nothing you bring to that conversation would be a mystery to me, or surprise me, or have inept attention from me. I know how to be attentive no matter the components.
...I can't speak for myself now, but I used to be very good at paying attention.
Your gender is no matter, either, but I do like the man I've met. That you are a man feels [...] integral to you. Something beautiful.
2/3
People can survive "deviancy". Maybe with violence and broken ribs, but survive. People don't survive -
Well. Nevermind that. You know this, and don't need me to say it.
[...]
Please, let me tell you instead - I told Darius. When I was twenty-two, twenty-three. I told him and even knowing his tastes, I was fearful to say it without adding very quickly that I still feel attraction to women. Darius, whom I trust.
I only mean that I understand. I wish I didn't. I wish you also had no cause to understand.
[...]
May I be honest, without giving any offense or insult?
It isn't anything to me, your sex. I wouldn't be ashamed to walk down a street with you, or be seen [...] [...] in your arms. I think I would be proud to be beside you; look at your kind heart. Look at your sensibility, your tenderness, your joy. Look at your ass.
A wise man I know said: Christ alive.
Yes, and there is - a supposition. [...] If, someday, you would want to know me better than 'well', nothing you bring to that conversation would be a mystery to me, or surprise me, or have inept attention from me. I know how to be attentive no matter the components.
...I can't speak for myself now, but I used to be very good at paying attention.
Your gender is no matter, either, but I do like the man I've met. That you are a man feels [...] integral to you. Something beautiful.
I feel -
Words for another time.