tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

Treavor Pendleton | Dishonored

[loyalless]

1) Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C. Verdict forthcoming.

2) When she heard the news, I believe her first words were, 'Where ever will you find space for a wife in the midst of all those empty bottles?'

3) Oh, please. I get a little bitchy. We all know that.

4) Thinking of telling what's-her-name I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my study to go sit literally anywhere else and wait for her to finish cleaning up the empty bottles.

5) Just in case I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral. And FYI? It's going to be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.

6) They were having a wine tasting so I tasted every wine... then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... I told THEM to leave and that they wouldn't know a good vintage if it bit them in the ass... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out.

2

[lostyourheart]

Isn't she charming.

Just how long has your drinking been a subject for ridicule? I feel it might be an overused punchline by this point.

These are the same people who keep revisiting the topic of hogs when they deign to speak to me, though. I suppose originality is too much to ask...

[loyalless]

You can expect those hogs to resurface until the day you die.

Perhaps somewhat less often now that you've stepped into the role of Lady Pendleton.

Well. Less often to your face.

[lostyourheart]

No doubt they've said far worse things behind my back than anything I've heard to date.

Would you like me to embarrass her? I could. All for you and your wine bottles.

Darling.

[loyalless]

Whereas they save their most sordid gossip about one Treavor Pendleton for speaking to my face.

Or they did. There's a chance they'll be keeping some of that behind my back now. Pity; I'll need to learn the latest rumors second-hand.

Valiant of you to stand up for my wine bottles, but they aren't worth your effort, plentiful though they may be.

[lostyourheart]

Well, I could do it because I am fond of you.

And because she is a horror of a human being.

And I am bored with samplers.

[loyalless]

If you care to go after Waverly, I'll make no effort to stop you.

What is it with you and those samplers?

[lostyourheart]

I have nothing else to do, have I? Wallace cooks, Johanna cleans, there is no livestock to tend, no wool to spin, no fabric to weave. I have read all of my books. You have very little use for me.

And this is, apparently, what Manhattan ladies do with their time when they aren't visiting one another.

Even then, they take their god-forsaken embroidery along with them. Oho, another handkerchief with little flowers on it. How cleverly we women make use of our time.

1/2

[loyalless]

Yes, of course, I'm so sorry we haven't a cow or a pig shitting up the place, all so you can imagine yourself to be useful.

Are you suggesting we ought to rendezvous more frequently?

2/2

[loyalless]

You know, you're free to bring new books into this house. We aren't utterly strapped for space.

And I do have books of my own.

[lostyourheart]

I am suggesting you have no use for me beyond our

"Meetings."

Not that I would object to an increase in frequency.

[...]

May I borrow them?

[loyalless]

To be fair, I also have little enough use for myself.

Borrow them if you like. Only put them back when you've finished; I'm not going to force that task on Wallace.

1/2

[lostyourheart]

Really. Have you ever known me to be anything but tidy?

Thank you.

[...]

Perhaps I could sit with you while I read.

If I am perfectly quiet, and make no trouble for you.

2/2

[lostyourheart]

...

Please?

1/2

[loyalless]

I'm not sure what the point would be.

You might try, if you wish.

FULL ON WEIRD (also 5)

[angelnorghost]

I'm not certain who this is, but luckily for you, O Stranger, I am very good at two things in this life: keeping people away and being exceedingly dramatic.

yesssS

[loyalless]

[ What. Is?

He's going to start to shout for Wallace. He's going to cut himself off, recalling that the man ran out for... something, some errand, Treavor really hadn't cared what.

Fuck's sake. He should stop texting while drinking, but if he stuck to that rule, he'd never be able to text.

So. All right. He can handle whatever the fuck this is meant to be. ]

Didn't do a particularly effective job of keeping me away, did you?

At least that leaves you with one skill to fall back on.

[angelnorghost]

Well who knows who you are. I might welcome you.
Likely not, but there is a slim margin of a chance that you could be acceptable.
Especially as I am attempting to be more sociable these days.

What sort of people are you wanting kept away?
And in what sort of condition do you wish them to leave?

[loyalless]

Aren't you a valiant soul, doing your best to play at society's games.

Oh, and to play at mutilation. Let's not forget that.

That IS what you're suggesting, isn't it? Christ, what kind of—

This is a joke. I don't care for it.

Who is this.

[angelnorghost]

An existential question I do not always have the answer to, myself.
Usually I merely sign my letters Fdel'O, if I am running short on time, which I sometimes am. I'm a busy man.

Well, less busy, these days. Mostly retired, in fact.

Might I remind you that you were the one who began the conversation with your hypothetical death, guests to be kept away, and dramatically flinging oneself across your coffin.
You have no real room to judge.

[loyalless]

And still I'll judge as I please.

All those words, and you've yet to answer my question. Oh, no, I'm sorry; you've offered a clever - terribly clever, deftly managed - sketch of what you've been. Am I to take that in lieu of your name?

Dramatic, indeed.

If you won't extend the courtesy of your NAME, might you at least tell me what it is you've retired from?

[angelnorghost]

Most things, really. What have I not been in this long, loathsome life of mine?

Architect (though I am currently constructing a house for my new bride, so only semi-retired there)
Magician
Maker of labyrinths
Lover of trap doors
Circus performer
Master of mirrors and mirages
All around handyman and entertainer to terribly powerful people
An admirer and experimenter in the art of knot making

And yourself? You have given me neither name nor occupation.

[loyalless]

[ That right there? That's the sound of Treavor's eyes rolling far the fuck into the back of his skull. Did he ask for a resume? A resume or a... what is this, a collection of nonsensical words and phrases? ]

I don't recall your asking.

Still, since you've been so blessedly thorough:

Schemer
Disappointment
Drinker of fine wines
Drinker of lesser wines
Societal performer
Master of snide remarks and withering glances
All around entertainment to terribly powerful people
An admirer and experimenter in the art of oblivion

All that in my own long and loathsome life.

[angelnorghost]

I have not heard enough of your snide remarks to proclaim you a master so I shall withhold judgement until a later date.
Though we do seem to cross over in many of our areas of interest and occupations.

Aside from lesser wines, that is something I cannot abide.

Do you mean the art of oblivion in more of an existential or a physical way?
Or both, depending on the occasion.

[loyalless]

I don't recall requesting your judgment. Nor do I recall seeing 'authority on snide remarks' on your list of accomplishments. Which I assume makes you the bane of existence: an amateur judge.

An amateur souse, as well. Drink enough, and you learn not to be too picky.

I would encourage you not to tell anyone I said as much. I do try to maintain a minor reputation for discernment.

As for oblivion, I'll leave that to your imagination.