kingdomsofrain | tfln open post

Hospitals are for suckers who need PrEP because they've been tasting cab strange.

Why do you talk about yourself like you're a weird, invasive species that exists solely on alcohol?

No, wait. I've got a better question. How are you texting me if you lost your phone?

Liar, liar, Treavors on fire.

BEEN THERE DONE THAT nothing strange today.

Maybe I'm texting from my brain. Even think about that, smart guy?

Also excuse you pal, alcohol AND Fruit Loops.

Froot Loops?

I can't remember, I have failed the bird!

I think the bird is the least of your worries.

Do you need an adult?

I was planning to sit here and [ Swipe swipe swipe Grindr ] have a quiet evening in.

Catch up on my life where my esteemed employers can't reach me for an hour or two.

But you're a disruption no matter where you are, aren't you.

Sir.

Who's the old man now?? 'An evening in.' Pssh. Dumbass adult business. What're you, buffering your toenails?

Also p.s. postscript, Alice. Your priorities?

Fucked UP.

That bird is the BEST and most worrising of my worries.

~~MY bird is the best and never worry and most OH NO YOU don't get to hear about MY bird.~~

I NEED these CLOUDS to disappear. Fucking up my stars. :|

Edited 2020-10-12 00:53 (UTC)

' S I R '

Wow thank you Lord Alice of Aliceville wow.

Who pissed in your Froot Loops?

(I fact checked it for you. Happy?)

Yes, 'an evening in'. I like my apartment, and I don't see it much anymore because I exist eighty hours or more in a dilapidated basement with an invasive species of Froot Loop-eating Treavor.

~~Talk about low man on the totem pole.~~

~~Which one of them would I have to blow for a promoti~~

I like my apartment. I miss my apartment. I miss my cat. Don't ~~be a shit~~ hate because I want to be IN my apartment. With company, if the Gr Tinder gods smile on me.

Wow what a great intern. The tops. I'll be sure to tell 'Your Employers' all about your shining performance. Maybe they'll give you a sticker. Nice little star you can put on your collar.

There's pretty simple solutions for your trouble, you know.

1) Skip work. No one gives a shit.

2) Quit work. All the apartment time a non-intern could ask for.

3) Bring the cat to work. Bring your soup bowls to work. Bring your throw rug to work. No more apartment bills, no more missing home.

~~Hey what's the cat's name?~~

Tell your Tinder friends I say hi.

Edited 2020-10-12 01:15 (UTC)

~~What is your problem?~~

Listen. ~~I don't know what bug crawled up~~

Sir.

1. I need this internship. I think you remember I said that. Several times, while you were throwing paper balls at my head and telling me to quit. I don't have a choice. And interns don't get to 'skip work'. We do the work that gets left behind when salaried individuals ~~such as yourself~~ skip work.

2. See above. No internship, no junior partnership. No junior partnership, no partnership. No partnership, no apartment, because apartments cost money, not unicorn shits.

3. ...No. You'll throw things at her. And the rest is unprofessional.

I don't have Tinder friends.

I don't have friends. I have this internship.

And you.

Sir.

~~Hey fucking QUIT it with the~~

I wouldn't throw anything at your cat. I don't throw shit at cats. Come on.

~~What's her~~

Your dad's got money. Everyone knows it. Pshh. APARTMENTS. ~~Why even intern HERE who does that except insects~~ CHOICE. Don't give me that donkey shit.

And DON't make me pity party you. Ugh. 'Can't apartment.' 'No friends no fun.' So, so sad. Sad Lord Alice, going places with his life, ugH.

~~Your father has money. Does he pay for your apartment?~~

Yes. He pays for my apartment now. But I'd like to be self-sufficient. A little more my own man.

~~I'm not asking for pity. I'm asking for consideration; telling me to quit is unreasonable.~~

[...]

~~Hypothetical question. Am I going to get fired if I stop responding to your texts?~~

[...]

Would you like me to come get you?

[ Well that's a fucking. Buzzkill.

He doesn't like that at all. ]

No i'm done.

Good for you big dreams.

Wouldn't want to waste your prcious APARTMENT time.

[ ... ]

[ ... ]

What's your cat's name?

Edited 2020-10-12 01:50 (UTC)

My apartment will be here later.

[ And is he, in fact, using the 'Find My Phone' feature to start tracking Treavor's location? He sure is. Why does he have it? The same reason Treavor has his number. ]

Maybe I'll pick someone up near the harbor. You never know. Two birds, one stone.

And you probably need milk, anyway. For the Froot Loops, right?

I'm out the door, so there's no point in arguing.

Hope.

...It was 'Our Lady of Lost Hope' but that was a mouthful. So. Milady if you want to be corny.

Hope if you.

You know, it. Doesn't matter.

No, it's a good name?

I can't even make fun of you for it. Just a good name. Bet she's a good cat.

Lady Hope, Lord alice. Knew something was up hmmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmM

Need FROOT loops for the Froot Luops, pshh.

Anywaywon't you be sleeping later?

[ Point MADE, point SCORED. There was. Definitely a point there somewhere. Maybe. ]

No aparetments when you sleeP.

Edited 2020-10-12 02:12 (UTC)

Sure. Lady Hope, Lord Alice.

...If nothing else, at least I'm giving her the life the title demands.

At least if I'm sleeping later, it'll be in my bed.

It's a pretty good bed.

Assuming I don't fall asleep on the sofa again.

Did you finish the Froot Loops? What am I going to do with the milk, then, hm?

Well, yeah, except when she' s lonely. :/ :/ :/

Maybe ShE needs friends?

Or a ourt. With crowns?

WAIT HEY YOU SOFA SLEEP? I woulnt have thought?

Laaady of the intern guy
Hope shines in you eyees
catnip in your mosuse toys
you'r my
l a d ty

I sofa sleep. I sleep where I can. You learn to do that when your life is a collection of sprints from one career move to the next.

Assuming you are at the harbor still, and connected to your phone, I'm four minutes away. All right? Just stay put. You can show me [...] where you were going to look at stars or something.

[...]

She has her catnip mouse and her toy bird. They're her courtiers. And her collar is her crown; it has a bell and a detachable blue bow I put on it when she wants to look her best.

For formal occasions.

What's the next verse?

you''r shitting me?

hey i dont need YOUR pity does she really have??

okay she's got friends got style!

Lucky cat. :D

lucky cat she'll get her verse when it's ready! patients, hm. next verses take time. it's like art.

I got a career move for you ouT THe door.

Nah, too late for that abandon hope you'll who enter here hmmm.

nO i'm running ebtter catch me!!

[ In fact he is not running. In fact he is not especially inclined to run or stand or anything right now, except lean against this... block, wall, trash bin, whatever it is, and take another drink. ]

[ Treavor does not appear to be running. In fact, it's not very difficult to find him, once Alice departs the car and, blanket folded over one arm, strolls down the harbor until the two dots on his phone's screen align.

(To think, this is how he'd planned (planned. Fantasized. Vaguely imagined.) to meet up with someone this evening. In practice, it's almost reprehensible -

Is. Reprehensible. And the shame cuts deeply.)

Around a corner, he finds his employers' brother. He, himself framed in the sickly yellow glow of a streetlamp, his hand now slipping into the pocket of his coat to stow his phone. His face shows no expression of disdain, though somewhere in the harsh shadows cast upon it, there's a hint of concern.

What does he say? 'Hey, Boss'? 'Hello, Sir'? 'Are you all right'? Those things...seem like they might upset the other man. So instead, he strolls over slowly, aiming for casual friendliness and not quite managing either. ]

Caught you. Does that make you 'it' now?

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