tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

Ham the Man

[agraveman]

When God made him he put all his talent in his dick.
What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.

[ofinfinitespace]

Mercutio.

Mercutio, why.

[agraveman]

I just wanted to let you know, Laertes is packin'.

[1/2]

[ofinfinitespace]

The entire court knows. And his father maintains skintight pants are all the rage in France.

[ofinfinitespace]

Wait.

No.

You didn't. Tell me you didn't.

[agraveman]

Oh.

NOW you're interested.

[ofinfinitespace]

Less interested. More mortified.

What in god's name possessed you?

[agraveman]

the spirit of adventure and boning

[ofinfinitespace]

I suppose this means you've been witness to his pierced scrotum.

[agraveman]

💯 🍆

[ofinfinitespace]

🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫

[agraveman]

did it ever occur to you that I could be fucking with you?

[ofinfinitespace]

Often. Always. And yet so often, you prove yourself to be a man of your word.

[agraveman]

and now you'll never know

[ofinfinitespace]

You test the very limits of belief, Mercutio.

Of course, I could always ask Ophelia.

[agraveman]

you could.

she doesn't know, either.

[ofinfinitespace]

I'm sure she heard one way or another. Among Laertes's key skills are boasting and not knowing when to stop up his mouth.

[agraveman]

but did you consider the fact that she may be in on it as well?

[ofinfinitespace]

...
...
...

You're cruel. Tremendously cruel.

[agraveman]

you know you love me
xoxo
gossip merc

[ofinfinitespace]

Hashtag go to hell.

[agraveman]

I'm basically king of hell already