tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

[lostyourheart]

My shoes?! The vulgarity of such an offer!

Heer Williams, I am married. How dare you suggest such a thing.

[reformedwhaler]

!?!?!?!?!??/!

just shoese no more wht ar shoes what hive i??????????

ERASE EVERTHING

[lostyourheart]

No, I shall not! What if I appear the guilty party in such a scandalous exchange!

What if you were to spread such a story, that I asked you to clean my shoes.

And poor Treavor, what would he think to hear?

[ As if there's not a lot of background snickering possibly happening right now. ]

[reformedwhaler]

I WOULD NOT NEVER!! m swear!!!!

feeet arent bad? it’S just shooes!!

noone
whose treavor??

m swear :(

[reformedwhaler]

trevor!? treever?? travor?? rtver?

[lostyourheart]

That's the one.

He won't demand satisfaction, but he would be incredibly angry to know some strange man wants to wash my shoes.

[reformedwhaler]

i'Ll dewl him if i must m not afraid im defend m wife's honor!!

I do. Not want to touch yor shoes. :\ dont pretennd why r shoed wrong????

[lostyourheart]

Are you suggesting my husband would not defend my honor? I do not care for the implication.

And, you see mijn heer, I would happily defend his in this situation. Tell me where you are, I shall duel you this very moment.

[ Or help him home. Same thing. ]

[reformedwhaler]

no whAT do not come nr me youu will acuse me of shoos!!

i did not
not

mijn. mimees?

YOU CANNT HAVE ME >:|

[lostyourheart]

How fortuitous; I do not want you.

What an unpleasant man you are when drunk, challenging women to duels and threatening to touch their shoes.

[reformedwhaler]

nno i amnot
ladie Pendleton i aam not

i I donnut

I DON'T WANT TO

Im sorrie :c?

[lostyourheart]

I suppose I shall accept your apology.

But if I catch you near my shoes I shall have to call the authorities.

[reformedwhaler]

[ He's not scared of that! Ha ha he's not scared of... the... authorities?

THE AUTHORITIES?

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no oh no no no no noo???

He's hiding from a phone. By putting it under a leaf. Which is why the next message doesn't arrive for a good six or seven minutes. ]

no no i wont look at you''re shoes or anythng. this is a my promise. Promise frrever. And ever amn.

You see im sereuos.

[lostyourheart]

Well, that is quite a promise.

Never, ever look at my shoes. We shall need a contract signed and witnessed, I believe.

[reformedwhaler]

its a reel for true promis!!

m writing contract now donnt worrie its a god one. binmding.

[lostyourheart]

Are you writing it on paper or on leaves?

I beg your pardon: leafs.

[reformedwhaler]

LEAFF ME ALONE

ha ha :3


oh no i havef a papper it s we tbut good

I Will share donnut worries

[lostyourheart]

Oh excellent, a contact on wet paper.

I may need to retain an attorney to review it, however.

[reformedwhaler]

shhs the wet mens it's aut..henctc authantick real

no i knoww law it is fine ask my wife,.


DONT ASK MI WIFE

[lostyourheart]

Will Olivia confirm that you indeed know the law?

I shall have to inquire, after all. You are much more interesting than I initially assumed.

[reformedwhaler]

shushh shsh it's secret betwen us!

OLivia's slep sleeep sleap...... zzzzz. Olivias zzzzzz. doe not disturb herr.

watch Hold on itss offishul

[ Shortly following this message, there's an image of a rain-stained contract, Mr. Arthur Williams will not lok at shoos!! not one look! sinned, Arthur. The message is decorate with one smiley face and one frowny sad face.

He tried. ]

[lostyourheart]

[ This is. The best day of her life. ]

It shall have to be ratified by congress, but I'll allow it.

[ Blackmail. Saving this forever. For blackmail. Somehow. ]

[reformedwhaler]

[ He's going to. Regret the living hell out of this come morning, isn't he? ]

What doo?
how will?>
uuuokay if you likE. do youu know congrass?

yo are a mercy ladie,.

[lostyourheart]

I do indeed know congress. All of congress.

Go to bed, Heer Williams. Your wife is tired.

[reformedwhaler]

ur too poowerful.:o :o

:o <-- its a ghost

i'm wil slep now. with leafs,

slepnight ladie penddd. ladie p.