tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

[lostyourheart]

Indeed?

What sort of secrets? Are they worth monetary value, or are they just interesting? You are trying to bribe me not to tell your wife you've had a glass of wine, after all.

[reformedwhaler]

secrets funny
funny funny funny
no one has secrets here??

no waiT it wassn't
wine???

that's not wine
donnut be rude

[lostyourheart]

I beg your pardon, Heer Williams, but I am never rude.

1/2

[reformedwhaler]

uhhhhhhhhoh

did i call you/?

wait who are yo??

2/3

[reformedwhaler]

am cold :c

3/3

[reformedwhaler]

hellp

[lostyourheart]

Admirable recovery. Believable only if you could not see my name along with my messages.

The logic of the drunken man never fails to astound.

I'm afraid I shall have to betray you, anyhow: I am calling your wife, sir.

1/2

[reformedwhaler]

no u can''t do tha
oh

the. pendleton ladie?

that you.

2/2

[reformedwhaler]

N WAI NO YOU CANNNNNT

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO O N O ONNO NON NONON ONO NO NONONON ONO STOP!!!!! SOTP STOP SOTP!!!!

i will give youu
A DOLLAR!!

[lostyourheart]

[ There's no reading this out loud without laughing herself sick; perhaps she just shows it to Treavor rather than reading it to him. ]

A whole dollar?

But I'm the Pendleton Lady, and you surely know I have more money than class. What would I do with one more dollar?

No, no, I don't need it. You keep it, perhaps you can use it to start a new life under a tree somewhere.

[reformedwhaler]

know but iliike my life??

donniut want a new :) no nO i mean :( :( :c IDON'T

no no there's something therees always something what wht ist??? yo need

i will wash your shoos :C

[lostyourheart]

My shoes?! The vulgarity of such an offer!

Heer Williams, I am married. How dare you suggest such a thing.

[reformedwhaler]

!?!?!?!?!??/!

just shoese no more wht ar shoes what hive i??????????

ERASE EVERTHING

[lostyourheart]

No, I shall not! What if I appear the guilty party in such a scandalous exchange!

What if you were to spread such a story, that I asked you to clean my shoes.

And poor Treavor, what would he think to hear?

[ As if there's not a lot of background snickering possibly happening right now. ]

[reformedwhaler]

I WOULD NOT NEVER!! m swear!!!!

feeet arent bad? it’S just shooes!!

noone
whose treavor??

m swear :(

[reformedwhaler]

trevor!? treever?? travor?? rtver?

[lostyourheart]

That's the one.

He won't demand satisfaction, but he would be incredibly angry to know some strange man wants to wash my shoes.

[reformedwhaler]

i'Ll dewl him if i must m not afraid im defend m wife's honor!!

I do. Not want to touch yor shoes. :\ dont pretennd why r shoed wrong????

[lostyourheart]

Are you suggesting my husband would not defend my honor? I do not care for the implication.

And, you see mijn heer, I would happily defend his in this situation. Tell me where you are, I shall duel you this very moment.

[ Or help him home. Same thing. ]

[reformedwhaler]

no whAT do not come nr me youu will acuse me of shoos!!

i did not
not

mijn. mimees?

YOU CANNT HAVE ME >:|

[lostyourheart]

How fortuitous; I do not want you.

What an unpleasant man you are when drunk, challenging women to duels and threatening to touch their shoes.

[reformedwhaler]

nno i amnot
ladie Pendleton i aam not

i I donnut

I DON'T WANT TO

Im sorrie :c?

[lostyourheart]

I suppose I shall accept your apology.

But if I catch you near my shoes I shall have to call the authorities.

[reformedwhaler]

[ He's not scared of that! Ha ha he's not scared of... the... authorities?

THE AUTHORITIES?

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no oh no no no no noo???

He's hiding from a phone. By putting it under a leaf. Which is why the next message doesn't arrive for a good six or seven minutes. ]

no no i wont look at you''re shoes or anythng. this is a my promise. Promise frrever. And ever amn.

You see im sereuos.

[lostyourheart]

Well, that is quite a promise.

Never, ever look at my shoes. We shall need a contract signed and witnessed, I believe.