tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

[thatminx]

I think Sheldon's family is probably pretty trustworthy. You're okay, Fish.

I want to hear the Barry-Mary song though. :c

Look at everything I miss out on by going to family dinner.

[sweatycoward]

BRRY WANS TO MEET AMARYLLIS

not prate amaryllis parrot amaryllis my amaryllis

i think we''re going to visitt????

wait wait wait firt i willl get barry to sing his barry-man song again make SHeldon record it for you! you can sneak out to watchit tell yor family its an emerhingcy i won'tnot tell

[thatminx]

Record it for me and I'll watch it on the train when I come home.

This better not be a better song than Antishark and Fish. We can't be outdone by another couple.

1/2

[sweatycoward]

heY Beary's alright but he'snot THAT good :o

shh shh gotta make sheldon record better motorboat arm skills keep it steade nice and easy

OKAY SHLDONS SENDING IT

i like the prt about ging on a bike oto a firend named ike

Katrina who is ike??? :o bArry will not tell me

2/2

[sweatycoward]

Katrina barrry says my hair is good hair!! :o

ant pirite said i am not a delinqint like Sheldon said

aw aunt pirate's so snice??

[thatminx]

Treavor?

Treavor, please, do NOT get on a motorcycle with anyone who's been drinking!

TREAVOR

[sweatycoward]

IT"S IS CALLED ARTSTIC LICENSE KATRINA :o

there is noo ike Barry said that was s an innudo

no no one's get on anny bike aunt pirates goingto drive real safe

she does not allways avoid the speed limts ha ha?? but aunt amary has had zero liquors i asked her she promised hello FFish is reesponsble!!

[thatminx]

An innuendo for what??

Jesus. Please, please, please, don't drive, don't get on a motorcycle, please.

Shit.

I'm

Fuck fuck I'm coming home.

[sweatycoward]

iunno. fucking?? mabe ike is their sexing time?/

no no nooo don'T leave your family they already unlike me shh donnto make them mad i promise???

i prmise no ikes

BIKES

or ikes ha ha

anut mary ddrevs a Honda

trust anut mary!!

[thatminx]

Please, I'm scared. I don't know Mary, you've all been drinking.

Please, just call Wallace and have him come get you.

I'm going to kill Sheldon

Treavor, don't okay? For your wife???

1/2

[sweatycoward]

what?? no,, Katrina its okay!! we just want to see my parrrott. :c

amaryllis Katrina!! the real real bird bird amaryllis!!!!

shhh hshh no scard it'S oay!

waitwait wait

2/3

[sweatycoward]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WALLACE YOU SUMMED WALLACE HES HEAR!!!!!!

WALLACE <3 <3

oh nono Wallace is mad nno Wallace is sad we left him :c :C

TELL WALLACE M SORRYY no wai ll tell wait wiit

3/3

[sweatycoward]

Wallace says were eedoging home nwo??

Katrina i cannott make him sadddert more sad i want to see my rprot but i dont not want r sad Wallace :c :c

no parrotss today :c :c :c

[thatminx]

Tell Wallace to call me, please.

[sweatycoward]

Katrina donntt make him sadt hough????


no no you wouldnt okay i wll

told him

being ggod treavr now

[thatminx]

[ Several minutes later: ]

I'll talk to you tonight.

[sweatycoward]

<# <#3 <3

dontt be saD??

Wallace is here its s all right I promise

hii hey i willl wait fr you <3

Hey why not

[thatminx]

[ It takes her a couple of nerve-wracking hours to get back to his place from Sleepy Hollow. She usually knocks, but today is not a day for knocking; she barges right in, all signs of strain and worry lingering in her expression, and all but throws herself at her husband.

Clings to him.

Dislikes the lingering sense of panic.

She's going to kill Sheldon. ]

hell yeaH

[sweatycoward]

[ He really doesn't know how much time has passed. Knows Wallace brought him here yes and knows he didn't get to see his parrot no or show Bar...ry and Aunt Pirate what a good good bird she is. Knows he's been staring at a barebones drawing of a parrot and he thinks he maybe might have drawn it.

Wallace is. Still around? Went to get something? Food or more drinks or maybe he forgot something at home? Maybe he came back. Treavor can't remember, and he'd call for Wallace only he's watching the parrot instead and drinking just a little little bit at a time instead. Can't have too much. Can't have too much because Katrina's coming home, and that, that he remembers loud and clear. Sometimes, even Treavors have a memory!

He's thinking maybe someone should color in the parrot with crayons, maybe he should color in the parrot with crayons (did Wallace go to get crayons??), when the door opens and it's noooot Wallace but oh, it IS Katrina and suddenly, very suddenly she's on him and the world's tilting but the world also feels all right, all warm and welcome and he holds her right back, close and tight (but not too too tight) and nuzzling his head against her own.

She said she'd be here. She never lies. ]

Hey. Hey. Missed you.

[thatminx]

[ She is not going to cry. He's drunk and she can't put that on him, he's drunk and he made desperately-needed friends and sure, she kind of took that away from him. And he kept talking about his parrot, and there's a doodle of a parrot, and he has the fucking mindset of a kid when he's this drunk.

But if he had gotten in that car, if they'd all been drinking (a variable she can't verify), what if.

What if.

God, what if she lost him.

That gripping panic she felt, stranded several towns over while she waited for the train, starts to creep back over her, and she nuzzles him back - to hide the crying. To bury her face against his neck and stay quiet until it passes. From there, her voice comes muffled and thick, a little unsteady. ]

Missed you, too, Fish.

[sweatycoward]

[ He likes her he likes he appreciates the smell of her and how long had she been away, so, so long it felt like ages. But he knew she'd be back. But he never doubted it, even though the hours did wear a little long and even though her being away left something like a little like a hole in him, a hole that only crumbled further further as he sat through a day's work - was that today really still today? some days are very long - and drinking helped a little but drinking never helps it all, isn't that the case, and there'd been fun for a little while and almost a parrot and—

He's sad about that parrot.

But Katrina's here now, and she's better than any parrot. That's true, at least. That's definitely true.

There's a small, a happy hum as he nuzzles again. ]

Best wife.

Always wife.

[ There's something, though. A snag, a nagging, something's... wrong? In her voice, in her speaking. What? What is it that's?

Hmm. It's difficult. It's difficult to think, she's very near and very nice. ]

[thatminx]

[ That. That starts her crying again.

There are things she accepts about Treavor, things she hopes they can work on eventually, things she's trying to help with. The drinking is a long-term goal; get him off it, or down to sober-most-of-the-time. But stopping the recklessness, the ending up in situations that could lead to arrests, injury, or fucking worse: that's the goal right now.

She had thought Sheldon could be trusted. She had thought it would be all right to leave town for a few hours, come back and Treavor would be in good hands. She was wrong, clearly very wrong, and she's going to give Sheldon an earful, because while this is Treavor's fault, it's also (and more) the fault of anyone watching out for him and failing. Sheldon failed; Sheldon nearly let him get in a car with (possibly?) drunk semi-strangers.

And fuck, she bets all Treavor wanted to do was see that parrot. To be around one of the good things in his life.

To feel happy for a little while.

He's nuzzling her, calling her the best wife, and sure, she makes him happy, but she can't be around 24/7 to watch him, or be what he needs. ]

Whose wife would I be if something had happened to you?

[ It's not fair. She knows it's not. His judgment is shot.

But. She was scared. She is scared. He's right here, nuzzling her and happy, and she's crying against his neck because the panic hasn't eased. ]

You can't do that again, Fish. You promised I'm stuck with you, so you can't do something that could take you away. No driving with strangers from bars. If you want to go see your bird, I'll take you any time you want to go. But you can't do stupid shit like this anymore.

[sweatycoward]

[ Oh.

Ice-edged and falling like rain, one drop then another until warmth seeps away and he could almost shiver and aren't those, aren't some of those drops real and more like tears?

She's not okay. It's not okay. He. Oh he.

He disappointed her. Didn't he? Like he disappoints everyone very easily, it's taken longer with her but he always always disappoints and there's no parrot even only disappointing he didn't mean to, really he didn't mean to and he's holding his head against hers now, drawing his arms tight around her.

Whose wife would she be? That's a bad, a negative question. The cold's creeping further, opening a down down downward spiral. He can't go down there. Wants to stay with her. Only he disappointed her. Only he... worried her? Only maybe the downward's what he's earned, all down and down and cold.

He would like to make this go away.

He'd like to make it turn all right. What is he supposed to...? ]

Sometimes people drive.

[ That's not... good enough, is it? ]

Just wanted a drink. Nothing bad.

[ A nudge: his head against her own. A tension crawling through him. He made this happen. He wants to unmake this happen. Maybe he broke something? That's not, not a good kind of thought. ]

[thatminx]

I know.

[ Katrina knows, of course she knows. She knows he wanted-needed a drink, she gets it. (And of course, she knows Barry and/or Sheldon and/or Mary were supplying way more than necessary, as fast as his texting deteriorated into incoherency.) That's a problem, a long-term problem that she knows he can get under control, but it's step ten or fifty or two thousand, because the drinking's just a symptom. You don't try to fix the busted windows if the house is on fire.

He's not in any kind of place to understand what upset her about this, and she's not in any kind of place to explain. But being held tighter helps. One of her hands traces along the back of his head, soothing him as much as reassuring herself.

But every time she thinks about something happening - an accident, or his brothers showing up, or alcohol poisoning, or, or, a chill runs through her. She loves him, she just found him, he just showed up in her life, and she's not romantic enough to say the little while she had him was enough to last a lifetime. ]

Something bad could have happened. I don't want to lose you. I want you to be safe.

[ She pulls back, sniffs deep and drags her sleeve across her eyes so she can look at him and see him sharply enough without the blurred wetness of tears.

She speaks slowly, with gravity; she'll go over it again tomorrow, when he's somewhat sober - but truthfully, this is more for her than him. ]

Listen. Try very hard to listen. If something happened to you, it would hurt your real family. Me and Wallace. If we lost you, it would break our hearts. You're important, and you're loved. So you have to promise to be safe so we can have you for a really long time. Can you do that?

[sweatycoward]

[ She was crying that was his fault maybe she's still crying and he's going to reach forward, try clumsily try to wipe away her tears if there are tears, maybe the trace of tears. She just wanted to visit her not-shitty family she just came home now she's sad, sad, sad.

A thought, arbitrary but striking with all the weight of truth: If his parrot was here, no one would be sad.

A resonance: 'Hurt your real family.' 'Break our hearts.'

(A warmth, vanished quickly under shame's resurgence: 'You're important. You're loved.')

He doesn't want to break her heart. Wallace's heart. Break other people's hearts sure, a lot of people suck a lot, but not them. His real real family.

Wallace didn't... Treavor doesn't remember Wallace saying much during the drive home, or after they'd come in. Was Wallace disappointed, too? Treavor had been thinking about Amaryllis. Treavor had been thinking elsewhere. Maybe Wallace hadn't talked because Wallace also was so sad.

Partly Treavor wants to crawl away, shrink into nothing. Because doesn't he always fuck things up this way? Isn't the feeling of being a disappointment familiar, but no, no, isn't it worse where she's involved? He doesn't like disappointing Wallace. He doesn't like disappointing Katrina. It was all fun and fine and good and he was feeling all right with Sheldon and Sheldon's mysterious aunt and Sheldon's aunt's mysterious fuckboy, when did things or how did things where did things go wrong?

He can't trace that way. Can't hold anything long enough to locate. What wasn't safe? He wants to... She's asking. She wants him to be safe? But what if he doesn't know what that means or how or where, because parrots are safe and friends (?? maybe ? friends ??) are safe and he doesn't see where an okay good time became suddenly unsafe? ]

I need to learn. I think?

'm sorry. Real real. I'm sorry, hey.