tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

[sweatycoward]

Shhh, hey. You'll make me blush.

Fish aren't supposed to blush. It's not in the fish playbook. :/

[thatminx]

I asked around, and it's totally a legal play for fish to blush.

Everyone in this bathroom agrees with me.

You going to tell me a story or flirt with me?

[sweatycoward]

Huh. Good to know I'm not breaking any laws. I wouldn't want to go to fish jail.

It's a hard choice, kid. You know I love flirting with you.

🐟 🐟 🐟

[thatminx]

I said it's a legal PLAY. You'd have to confirm it's legal legal, since you're the fish lawyer.

I think you love ME and everything else is just a perk. ;)

[sweatycoward]

Shit, I guess I am. :o I'm going to say it's legal. My fish heart tells me so.

And hey, I won't say you're WRONG.

Because you're not. You're not wrong at all. <3

The question is, does the lady locked up in the bathroom want more flirting, or more story?

[thatminx]

Of course I'm not wrong. I know the perks of loving someone.

[...]

The question ACTUALLY is, how much creepier could you have made that question?

[sweatycoward]

:/ :/ :/

Didn't mean to.

[thatminx]

Unintentional kidnapping? I see how it is.

Flirt first, story after, flirt some more?

[sweatycoward]

I'm prepared to work with that.

Hey, for my Kat, I'm prepared for anything.

1/2

[thatminx]

At least one of us is prepared. For all my lists and planning, I'm perpetually unprepared for life with you.

...Case in point. There's no prep for this. I mean, I have a contingency plan, but anticipation is out of the question.

2/2

[thatminx]

[...]

I love it.

And you.

[sweatycoward]

Excuse me, flirt police? Yes, hello, this is Treavor Pendleton calling, and I've spotted a flirt. ;)

Oh shit, flirt police? Plot twist! The flirt is my wife??!

My wife, who I love deeply.

Hey, flirt police? I've got myself a real winner. c:

[thatminx]

:o :o I can't believe you called the flirt police on me.

Me, an honest flirt who did no harm.

Well, guess what, smart guy.

I'm calling my LAWYER. ;)

[sweatycoward]

Excuse me, Miss. I happen to know this LAWYER of yours is actually a fish, and therefore...

(GASP!!)

...a fake lawyer, and ineligible for flirt court!

We might be able to settle this out of court, though.

MAYBE.

[thatminx]

[ She's just going to shout from the bathroom: ]

THAT'S FISH DISCRIMINATION!!!!

[ And texting resumes: ]

Fish can be lawyers if they really want to be. Fish can do anything. Fish are magnificent creatures.

But I might be willing to discuss arbitration.

MAYBE.

1/2

[sweatycoward]

Hey.

Kid.

Loud noises.

:c :c :c

That's fish headache. :c

[ Okay maybe it's not really bad maybe that noise wasn't loud enough for too much pain but look, look, he can be dramatic sometimes, can't he? ]

2/2

[sweatycoward]

I HAPPEN to be acquainted with every law school on this planet, and none of them admit fish. :/

Which is better for the fish, really.

Mmm... Let's. Talk about that arbitration. What's a flirt like you got to put on the table?

1/2

[thatminx]

Oh oh sorry sorry :(

Poor Fish. And the aspirin's in here with me. :( :( Sorry.

2/2

[thatminx]

...

...myself. ;)

[sweatycoward]

Kid. Kid.

It's fine.

You know who's good at being overdramatic? Me. It's a fish thing. It's fine.

It's especially fine because this Fish has a very good wife, even if she DID lock herself in the bathroom. :/

[thatminx]

Hey now.

If anyone locked me in here, it's the one who removed the doorknob and didn't put up a sign.

And ending up in your bathroom trap is in no way a mark against my ability to be a good wife. I bet I'd be an awesome wife if I ever got out of here.

[sweatycoward]

Nah, you're already an awesome wife from inside the bathroom. Maybe that's why you're stuck in there. Maybe you're TOO good a wife, and if you escape the bathroom, the world'll collapse. Did you think about that?



.....I thought I made a sign... :c

[thatminx]

Monster wife. Rampaging with kisses and home-cooked meals. Definitely world-destroying.

[...]

Awww. You probably did make a sign. It must have vanished from the door. Maybe someone stole it?

In fact, that's definitely what happened. Someone broke in last night and ripped the warning sign off the bathroom door, then ran out.

I bet it was Chauncey. He looks like trouble.

[sweatycoward]

Noo, Chauncey would never steal my signs. Just ignore them. Did I tell you he ignores my signs? I put a sign on his chair that said 'Do Not Sit Here This Is An Emergency Seat For Treavor's Friend Michael,' and he sat right down on the sign. I asked him what the fuck, he said I don't have friends, and then he kept working. Or looking at jokes. Whatever he was doing.

Probably I left it somewhere. You may or may not have noticed, but I make a lot of half-assed efforts when I'm drunk.

...Also when I'm not drunk, if we're being honest.

[thatminx]

Hey, hey, that's my husband you're talking about. You're not allowed to be self-deprecating while I'm locked in bathrooms. It's the LAW.

If you're going to say mean things about my husband

who is my favorite person on the face of the planet

who punched someone twice his size for me

who has the most beautiful soul

you have to let me out of the bathroom so I can fight for his honor. With cuddles. Aggressive cuddles.