tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

[lostyourheart]

I can't tell her you're safe, Heer Williams. I don't know that for certain, and I don't tell lies.

Certainly not to dear Olivia.

Well. I suppose you can't be forced to reveal your hiding place-come-bed, so I suppose we will simply have to let her fret.

[reformedwhaler]

I EFT THE TREE i TOld you

i'm on the street

its cold
ialmost got hit by a carrrage
im sad :c

donot tell my wiife

ll find a knew tree

[lostyourheart]

If I don't tell your wife that I know where you are, and have been communicating with you for some time while you wander the city in such a state, she will never speak to me again.

Shall I sacrifice my friendship for the sake of your drunken exploits? I have so few true friends, and am loathe to lose such a fine woman from their number.

[reformedwhaler]

she iS good woman

a

good good good

no look I didn''t

iI didn't mean too exploites :c :c :9(

SHE DOESNT NED TO NOW! :D donnut tell i will owe u
secrets

[lostyourheart]

Indeed?

What sort of secrets? Are they worth monetary value, or are they just interesting? You are trying to bribe me not to tell your wife you've had a glass of wine, after all.

[reformedwhaler]

secrets funny
funny funny funny
no one has secrets here??

no waiT it wassn't
wine???

that's not wine
donnut be rude

[lostyourheart]

I beg your pardon, Heer Williams, but I am never rude.

1/2

[reformedwhaler]

uhhhhhhhhoh

did i call you/?

wait who are yo??

2/3

[reformedwhaler]

am cold :c

3/3

[reformedwhaler]

hellp

[lostyourheart]

Admirable recovery. Believable only if you could not see my name along with my messages.

The logic of the drunken man never fails to astound.

I'm afraid I shall have to betray you, anyhow: I am calling your wife, sir.

1/2

[reformedwhaler]

no u can''t do tha
oh

the. pendleton ladie?

that you.

2/2

[reformedwhaler]

N WAI NO YOU CANNNNNT

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO O N O ONNO NON NONON ONO NO NONONON ONO STOP!!!!! SOTP STOP SOTP!!!!

i will give youu
A DOLLAR!!

[lostyourheart]

[ There's no reading this out loud without laughing herself sick; perhaps she just shows it to Treavor rather than reading it to him. ]

A whole dollar?

But I'm the Pendleton Lady, and you surely know I have more money than class. What would I do with one more dollar?

No, no, I don't need it. You keep it, perhaps you can use it to start a new life under a tree somewhere.

[reformedwhaler]

know but iliike my life??

donniut want a new :) no nO i mean :( :( :c IDON'T

no no there's something therees always something what wht ist??? yo need

i will wash your shoos :C

[lostyourheart]

My shoes?! The vulgarity of such an offer!

Heer Williams, I am married. How dare you suggest such a thing.

[reformedwhaler]

!?!?!?!?!??/!

just shoese no more wht ar shoes what hive i??????????

ERASE EVERTHING

[lostyourheart]

No, I shall not! What if I appear the guilty party in such a scandalous exchange!

What if you were to spread such a story, that I asked you to clean my shoes.

And poor Treavor, what would he think to hear?

[ As if there's not a lot of background snickering possibly happening right now. ]

[reformedwhaler]

I WOULD NOT NEVER!! m swear!!!!

feeet arent bad? it’S just shooes!!

noone
whose treavor??

m swear :(

[reformedwhaler]

trevor!? treever?? travor?? rtver?

[lostyourheart]

That's the one.

He won't demand satisfaction, but he would be incredibly angry to know some strange man wants to wash my shoes.

[reformedwhaler]

i'Ll dewl him if i must m not afraid im defend m wife's honor!!

I do. Not want to touch yor shoes. :\ dont pretennd why r shoed wrong????

[lostyourheart]

Are you suggesting my husband would not defend my honor? I do not care for the implication.

And, you see mijn heer, I would happily defend his in this situation. Tell me where you are, I shall duel you this very moment.

[ Or help him home. Same thing. ]

[reformedwhaler]

no whAT do not come nr me youu will acuse me of shoos!!

i did not
not

mijn. mimees?

YOU CANNT HAVE ME >:|

[lostyourheart]

How fortuitous; I do not want you.

What an unpleasant man you are when drunk, challenging women to duels and threatening to touch their shoes.