tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

For the Boardwalk crowd

[makingastatement]

im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.

this was a mass text, wasnt it?

[byanyname]

I dunno, pal. I try to stay inside when artichokes're on the prowl. They give me the shivers, oooooooo.

[makingastatement]

I'm saying get your ass over here and pick me up or you'll be shitting artichokes for two weeks.

[ Threats make things substantially less embarrassing, right? ]

[byanyname]

[ Sure, Al, sure. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself. Mickey definitely won't hold onto this memory forever. And he definitely won't ever bring it up or wave it in your face. Scout's honor! ]

A fate worse than death, ehhheh.

Since when was I at your beck and call? I got a life too, ya know. With a job and everything.

[makingastatement]

[ Right. Somehow he doesn't buy that promise. ]

You've got a job because people I know say you do. You wanna piss them off?

[byanyname]

[ Aw, come on. Just look at Mickey's face: most trustworthy man of the year, right here.

Right, except you can't look at his face. 'Cause you're trapped in the middle of Artichokesville. ]

Awwww, take it easy. I'm just havin fun.

Course I'll come and get you. You know there's nothing in life thrills me more than saving my pals from death by artichokes.

[intheicebox]

I don't like jokes, Mr. Capone. Not in the middle of the night. Not from such children as you.

[makingastatement]

[ shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

shit. ]

Yeah. Uh. Not my best one.

Say I'm passing through your neck of the woods. Know anyone with a truck?

[intheicebox]

[ 'Shit' indeed, little boy. ]

You're going to want to stop talking now.

A man goes into the woods with vegetables alone, he pays the price.

[makingastatement]

Yeah

Okay

Goodnight

Sweet dreams and

I'm done now.

[intheicebox]

Is this a poem you send me?

A word of advice, Mr. Capone: Never send five lines when five words will suffice.

[ A nice lesson from a man who is never ever verbose at all. ]

[phillysfinest]

Who the fuck's this supposed to be?

i am... so sorry...........

[makingastatement]

[ Psh, whoever this guy is. ]

Your mother's left tit knows.

oh, al. such a sweetheart.

[phillysfinest]

[ This is not the kind of shit he needs right now. ]

I'm gonna assume you're either very drunk, or you've got a death wish.

[makingastatement]

And you're not?

You sound as boring as a church on a Saturday night.

[phillysfinest]

Hilarious.

How did you get this number?

[phillysfinest]

Jesus, is this Doyle? Cause I swear to god, Mickey, you send one more dick joke or sob story about your sad little life, I'm gonna dig your grave myself.