darius scarlett (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
onefellswoop) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pm
onefellswoop) wrote in kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pmtexts texts texts
this one is for texts!
onefellswoop) wrote in kingdomsofrain2024-01-24 08:25 pm
5
[...]
What means 'twink'?
[...]
FuckI know that isn't right.
It's early.
[...]
What is meaning
How
What does 'twink' mean?
1
Shock to the system gifted by his Talik, aye, his Vitaly.
x.x x.x x.x
How’d you go and make it more excruciating, giving me that English? Sayin it again, j e s u s.
Eh but you’re on about google translate. It’s got none of your verve. None of your passion, not your poetry.
[ … ]
Truth, I’ll be expecting your palm a stroke against my cock. Want you against me, in me, that as well, and holding me throughout.
No telling what you’ll learn about your Vevay, when all this comes to pass.
Christ alive Talik I’m meant to be headed off to work and here all can think’s how well I’d like to be ensconced upon your cock. 🥴 Light and shadows, holy fuckin revelry.
Callin it, I’m heading over late this day. Rewiring can hold on for a few til I’ve got it in myself to stand again without wobbling over.
An eternity of expiration and reunifying at your hands, can’t say I begrudge the thought.
Guess I’ll be bringing you the same, just as well.
Much to be dreamt on, my Talik. Much to be anticipated, aye, in utmost and dare I say it agonizing, wondrously agonizing eagerness. c; 🧡
2
Nah, jesting, as I’ve not a doubt you’re asking earnest. About ‘twink,’ I mean, eh, fuck me.
Fact of the matter is a twink proper speaking’d be more like half my age and more exclusively into anyone who knows hisself as a man or masc than my pan self admits, but. Eh, got the body type for it, there’s that. Looks good from outside, if not happens the brightest, speaking for thought capacities.
To my credit, the term’s taken on more leeway of late, or has far’s I can tell. Might be I’ve no eh ‘true’ claim to the idea, but fact is it keeps coming back to association with myself from outside, and fact is I like it well enough from my own viewing.
Aye well and, aged as I am and aged as I sometimes feel, and even accounting for the hairs that’ve set themselves to grey, can’t say there’s not some small aspect of youthfulness I embody, hey?
Right, recognizing I’ve given no definition of the word or nothing like. So put it briefly, young (or youthful!) man with habits toward the charms of other men or masculine folks, slight of build and eh, often prone to fits of either self displaying or the dramatic.
Likesaid, doesn’t fit entire, happens, but it ain’t full fledged misplaced either. And it pleases me, so I’ll take it on myself, on top of knowing its been given to me, and not only through decades past.
Well and here.
I’m your boyfriend, so. Why not let Vevay be yr twink as well? c;
3
That void’s always nigh for stumbling against, get me? It’s nothing can’t be eased. It’s nothing doesn’t clear up with a night’s sleep, and what’s helped here’s reading your words and playing for myself a while.
I’ll keep that to me, what you said about calling. And I’ll keep it in my notice, if it comes to needing.
[ … ]
Hazard is I’m thinking I’ll always need you, Talik. But then I do know my limits, what I’ve got and can’t get sorted on my own.
…Can’t say there’s no appeal in it, the thought of your voice half caught sleeping.
That said, there’s ease alone in knowing you’re there. As was the case this night last. Knew you’d be with me come morning. Knew the words I sent wouldn’t keep unread or without answer. There’s nothing in me needs immediate response, not often, not typically at all. The fact of knowing you’re htere and will be there
Aye, that’s plenty on its own.
Still and all, here me acknowledging and here’s me writing into memory, if all pulls too sharp, I’ll call you, and not worry too overmuch about distressing your sleep.
That is, I’ll fret about it some, there’s no help for that. But I’ll know what you’d prefer, and I’ll know you’d not leave me when I need you, and when the night’s gone voiceless. When I need nearer sign it’s not myself against the night, or when knowledge alone’s not enough to fight what gnaws.
My Talik. I’ll be right enough, and I’m plenty all right now, apart from this fact of being compromised in ways no voice can ease, ey? Got your words to keep me through the day. Got the realness of yourself to catch around me, and think, eleven days now.
Only eleven days. 🧡🧡
4/4
[ … ]
I’d like that, to talk it through. Review what options might be reached for, what might be most effective or efficient.
Don’t know much wrt Iryna’s talents or [ … ] Enri’s? (He got a facility for those locked phones and beyond, then?)
I do know I trust you, your own self, Talik. I know there’s nothing you’d venture nor a thing you’d afford without thought, without [ … ] cognizance of what I’d asked, and what my children might need.
Pressure’s got it’s place, that’s so. Particularly in the case of those who live theirselves beyond the touch of law.
[ … ]
Won’t say it doesn’t help, your saying this. Your speaking clear with me, and showing [ … ] you’ve no shame against methods more and less, say, generous.
It’s a world of good you do me, and far beyond.
And I’ll rest easier one way or another, knowing Nicky and Liza or well, or else knowing that they’ll be well, whatever [ … ] circumstances dictate now.
[ … ]
Fuckin. Said you’d make a sound father.
The truth of it only comes clearer. My beautiful and brilliant hearted, warm souled Talik. What was the world before you, hey? Less, and lacking. Less, but waiting, aye, waiting for be found and grown.
1
чебурашка.
I like Бархотка better for talking of that kind; the first one means for children, also, so it has some negative connotation.
Бархотка doesn’t mean all the things you say, though.
No dramatics. It’s only a young man who likes -
[…]
Forgive me, this isn’t a conversation I have in English often.
It’s a young man who […] receives. шзх the word for it.
[…]
Bottom.
But this word, it means “velvet”, also. You can draw conclusions why.
Does twink mean this, also, or is it both bottom and top?
[…]
Now I want to see how you look undressed; you’re speaking in very high terms about your body for such a decrepit old man.
You don’t look even a little so, Vevay. I thought maybe you were 36, 37?
Eh, how old are you? And! When are you born.
No, this is wrong -
You see how it is for me in the morning? Aroused and not speaking English well.
This is your problem to deal with from now on. 😏 Better learn Ukrainian quick.
[…]
When is your birthday? There, that’s correct.
Me, mine is June 28. I’ll have 45 years.
[…]
FuckingI will BE 45 years.Maybe I’ll have a twink for my birthday?🥳
[…]
Vevay -
Do you prefer to be this? Bottom, not twink.
I don’t mind to top. I like both fine. But it’s fun to give; I can do more other things at the same time.
Would you want to know the word for a man who prefers to be top?
топтун.
One who tramples.
All this in Russian, not Ukrainian. It’s more common to hear that in Kyiv.
They aren’t polite, the words, but they aren’t so […] slurs? Derogatory. They aren’t this so much. Like “queer” maybe. Depends who says them.
2
About your brightness and thought capacity.
[…]
Enri has been texting me this week, telling me all about how Darius “fucks him stupid”.
For some people, maybe this is easy to do because they already have very little intelligence. (Not Enri, just some people.)
So I’ll say it this way:
Vevay, I will fuck you stupid if you want, but it will take a lot of effort and I might die of exertion.
You are intelligent.
My perfect, intelligent twink. c:
3
You can need me. I’d like to need you, too, so that makes it equal and good, doesn’t it?
I mean what I say, коханий. If you feel that way again, call me. Eventually, I’ll sleep beside you and all you’ll ever have to do is reach for me, isn’t that so? Calling is the same; it’s just reaching for me at night.
[…]
I like this thought. Vevay, sleeping with you would be wonderful. Even if you snore! I told you I talk in my sleep, but I sleep like I’m dead unless my phone rings or someone shakes me. Eh, and my brother snores. This doesn’t bother me.
[…]
Eleven days and some more besides until I sleep together with you.
And some more besides this, but soon, you’ll see Nicky and Liza, and I’ll see my son.
4
You speak of methods that aren’t generous like maybe you worry I will have some trouble with them.
[…]
Maybe we should both consider we’re friends with Darius, and what that means about how we deal with people who give us trouble.
I prefer altruism and kindness. Most of the time, people can see reason if you take the time.
Kindness, reason, and altruism aren’t always effective. Sometimes you have to appeal to a person’s desire to survive.
What’s important is that I would never do anything to cause pain to your children. No trauma, no suffering of any kind.
I would prefer to give your sister-in-law money.
Or make her situation such that she would be relieved to have two less ‘burdens’.
There, my first and second instincts.
I won’t lie to you, though, коханий: I’ve done worse things to better people. I told you about the tooth, and what I’ve done here. The world is ugly and sometimes so is your Talik.
[…]
Can you live with me, knowing this?
Please, know there’s nothing you could do that would offend me. You and I feel the same where it matters most, isn’t that so? Children should be guarded and loved, and generosity should be the first resort?
And also, fuck the government?
1/?
Right, full disclosure, had to look up the word, both words but I’m meaning the first, came across that… what’s it a mouse of some sort? Looks a bit like it might fuck up a man, and I ain’t saying that mouse’s Bloodlust, but then I ain’t saying it ain’t.
Eh, I’d say keep that between you and I, but first off you’re not the blabbing sort, and second, don’t know’s I care whether the man knows I said it. Not my fault he’s a creature of sorts, and tbf it’s more to his credit than otherwise.
Point I’m getting at, not sure in the applying of ‘twink’ to Sen or Darius. Sen or anyrate Sen of old might not’ve turned it running, have to ask him on that. My hunch is Darius’d eschew the word, he and his lord n saviour Daddy complex.
For myself it’s a matter of claiming, makin the word my own as well as something broader in application, aye? Way I speak it on myself, it’s half a state of mind and mode of self presenting. Something of light heartedness. Something to being apt for a good dicking down, that also.
[ … ]
Well aye and there’s the intelligence bit. Honed in on that remark of mine, ey? Pair myself against a Sen or a Darius, got to be admitted there’s myself falling short in the mental gymnastics. But I’ll give you that I’m not so hopeless, happens.
Feels less so talking with yourself, eh, and not to say the Shitheads’ve given cause for thinking otherwise. It’s the self’ll gnaw a man, ken. Eh, the self and most the folks said man meets beyond god’s own country as they call it.
Pertinent point being, you’ve a handy talent for making you Vevay feel real bright about himself.
And I’m staking and saying it now, I’d like to see you go about fucking me stupid, yes indeed and all thanks to you. 🥴🧡
On that note and far as preferences go, I’ve practice with bottom and top alike and find allures to both, but my heart’s most and most often in taking it. Receiving, aye, though I’ll not have it being said I’m the passive pillow sort in this regard. c;
Not opposed to playing the power bottom here and there, nor likesaid taking top. But you want to trample me, you’ll find not one argument from your Vevay.
[ … ]
Shite. Aye. Had my leanings toward being that bottom from the start, and you’re only makin it more desirable. топтун <- That you then, my Talik?
Lucky for your Vevay, I’d say, do say, and shall carry on in speaking. >.>
2/?
Trample me, Talik. 🥴🧡
Take that velvet for yrself, ready and waiting.
You’ll do this for your Vevay? 🥺🧡
3/?
That’d be me right there, 42 as of this very year, third of March. Puts me as a Pisces and then there’s yourself as a [ … ] Cancer, yeah?
(Fact’s disclosure being I’ve no stake in zodiac and its signs as a way of telling truths. Just there’s a meme culture around it pleases me and there’s no one can fault me taking hands with another man of the water, ey?)
Crab and a fish, not so bad I’m thinking. c;
Also fairness’s sake, I’d not’ve guessed 45 for yourself. Nearbouts maybe, only for the fact you embody the DILF vibes to a ’t,’ but jesus lord almighty you keep yourself pristine.
Worth saying you’d have my affections were this not the case. Worth saying again you had me before I glimpsed a single image of yourself.
Worth saying as well, you’ve done good work, Vitaly, real good work, and there’s a middle aged twink wants that body all upon me, ah fuck.
4/?
First off being that I like the thought of reaching over, shifting just a little maybe stretching out an arm and finding my Talik there, sound and solid, true.
This, presuming I’d not be wrapped around yourself in the first place. Fair’s fair in warnings, and best you know that right alongside the snoring, I’m a man who clings.
[ … ]
I’ve fondness for the way you said it. Calling like reaching out. Fingers crossed it won’t be needed for so long, but aye Talik, next time I’ve overmuch moroseness or malaise and you’re distant, you’ll find yourself enduring a cell phone’s ring.
Can’t say it’s not added incentive, the thought of your voice wrapped up with drowsing.
Trust your Vevay and know I’ve no meaning to abuse the privilege! Just to say, that’d be an added bonus, itself. c;
5/5
First point being, there’s no chance of necessity looking ugly on you, Talik. I’d wager there’s nothing enters your orbit and self that can keep a dispiriting appearance, hey?
Second and equal in import being I could live with you, that and more besides, and hold you in esteem all the while.
I could and will, given the glimmer of a chance.
Put it this way, Talik. Though I’ve no talent for bloodied hands, I’ve knowledge of what Scarface and the Shitheads get themselves up to. (Been offered a job or two myself, but eh, it’s true I’ve not much stomach for it, better placed with production and distribution. That’s where I can make a mark or two, and that’s where suppositions turn to sense.) Got no mind against a one of em and eh, take Senan for example. I’ve a good idea what the man gets up to, and it’s dinged not an ounce of my fondness for him.
Fact is, I admire a man stands by his principles.
I admire a man who’ll work them into being, one way or another. And it’s as you say, there’re times reason’s not enough, times kindness speaks a lost cause. Times there’s weighing to be done regarding crimes against a one versus crimes driven onto many.
Or. [ … ] Crimes driven onto children.
That alone opens the field for methods and means. That alone’s cause for seeking response whatever way the fucks’ll hear.
And of course and twenty times over, fuck the government with an outsized glass shafted dildo, and without a drop of lube.
You hear me well, Talik. On generosity, on methods preferred. And I hear you yourself, and hear as well that call of what’s sometimes got to be. There’s fucks on this earth call harm down on theirselves. There’s fucks won’t learn from any other angle.
Here, and what’s also for saying
I’ve belief my Talik can do all, what’s kindest as well as what’s needed where kindness trips itself. I believe as well there’s no act can change the tenor of my Talik’s heart, aye. There’s nothing could make you other than beautiful, nor other than beautiful in your Vevay’s eyes and knowing.
1
Here, this is an example just today. They're in an argument, Senan and Darius, because of this [...] brotherhood they have. Darius is hurt Senan doesn't care to tell everyone and also because he kept it to himself for so long - which, I can blame neither of them for these feelings. No one likes to feel so rejected, eh?
But also, no one likes Darius's family. No one likes the people around Darius who aren't us and Enri. They're all terrible people he inherited from terrible people. And also, Darius has been volatile because of the drugs.
A note, here: He's angry or hurt, maybe, I didn't tell him about Sergiy, either. I do feel badly for this, and I thought many times perhaps I could reach out to him, but -
I'll tell you, and this remains between us? I didn't want him around Sergiy. Not with his Pups, not with cocaine. I didn't want to have to tell him this and perhaps begin another fight. I love Darius like a brother, so I do as I would do with my brothers: I don't tell him until he's ready to be in my life, and Sergiy's.
I did much this with Maksym -
A story for another time.
For now, this, with Senan.
So, Senan makes a joke, Darius makes a joke, suddenly everyone's angry and I think maybe neither one was joking. Or Senan was being thoughtless? I don't know with either of them. They don't talk. Senan leaves [...] how is it.
In a huff.
I've actually only seen him angry so perhaps four times, so this must be something causing friction for a while.
Well. Do you see how I mean, Vevay? They're idiots.
You aren't. I feel this: you are smart. Maybe you aren't a genius, but I wouldn't leave my son in the care of a genius. Look at those two. They're dangerous to themselves and everyone else.
I would leave him with someone intelligent and sensible.
And fun, like a twink!
You can teach him how to have fun. He's growing very solemnDo you see, зірковий? You're perfect.
2
But you, Nova!
If you continue to speak of my boyfriend this way, I'll have to do something to stop you speaking.
Or using your hands to type.
[...]
Боже мій.
This is a thought I have to live with all day.
This, and velvet.
Why do you want to torture me, eh? Haven't I been very sweet to you? If I trample or anything else to you, it might only instigate you to do more of this to me.
Nova, please, коханий - let me survive two more days here. When I'm in Berlin, you can say anything you want to me.
[...]
And!
I'm suffering, which is very bad for Ukrainian morale, isn't that so?
It's true, I swear this to you. No blow for Ukrainians is a blow for Russia.
Do you want to help the Russians win?
1/2?
!!!!
Terror n horror and ah no!! Talik no!
Can’t be having that, not the least!
My Talik suffering, and myself here playing aid to Russia? Can’t be withstood! Cannot be permitted, not a moment longer!
Aye, from here to Berlin, this twink shall endeavour his very utmost to veer off from suggestives, with nary a mention of either velvet or trampling, nor even of how fevered I’d turn with my hands caught up in yours. It’s a weighty and a noble duty I’ve before me, and no easy keeping, but for my Talik and for Ukraine, I take this task and count myself honoured!
(Eh, well and if this one Ukrainian and I mean of course the very same who’s my boyfriend, if he can wait it out these two days and then beyond, he’ll be getting all the blowing he can handle, get you primed and ready and we’ll see what chance Russia’s got then, hey? c;)
Right, right right right that there was the last of it. Chaste thoughts now. Chaste Vevay now, taking up monastic living!
Aye… Until Berlin. 😄🧡
2/3
Heard their siblinghood just recently, myself. Or just recently heard it sober enough for comprehension. Sen’s said he mentioned the fact some years back, only I was off world at the time, you get my meaning and so I kept no knowing of it.
[ … ]
Makes a kind of sense, ey? Wouldn’t’ve put two and two together on my own devices, but it’s quite the ‘how the fuck’d I miss that’ looking backward.
The way Sen tells it and I’m inclined to believe, there being some matters Wilco hisself won’t jest over, Darius took the news well and better than. Strange thing, I’d call it, only I gather there’ve been changes wrought in our little lord n saviour, and the two of em were near enough like brothers themselves, anyrate. Guess as well it’d’ve been welcome having a brother who ain’t [ … ] eh, you know the shite.
Christ. Menace of a family, that’s sure. Can’t say I’ve blame for Sen in the least, keeping that secret close and held. And there’s what you said on Darius, him being a wreck waiting to happen every moment, least for a shite of a long while there.
[ … ]
Right so, Sen bein that kind of vexed and Sen leaving out from a conversation unfinished, that’s all a certain kind of telling. Might be not so surprising, this case.
Thing is it’s about the worst time to be jesting or half jesting around his parentage. His mum, Moira, aye? We’re coming up on the anniversary of her passing. [ … ] Never a breezy time for Senan to start with. It, eh. When it happened [ … ] her passing, it near destroyed him, and that grieving visits him still. There’ve been years he turned recluse for a week, straight disappeared.
…Poor sod can’t even drink it quiet this time round, what with his liver and all.
Point is it’d be a piss poor time for raising talk of the man abandoned Sen and Moira both. Worse still, like, for bringing her name among those rancid folks you spoke of, they that Darius inherited.
Moira deserved better than fking Darcy Scarlett or any other man brought to her door. Deserves better than her name run through the muck, and Sen deserves better than hearing that same catastrophe.
[ … ]
Suppose it bears saying I’ve no solid sense if it is or ain’t cause here. Christ knows the two of them have years of exploits for growing quarrels from, and the whole matter’s thorned.
Just, eh. It’s one element about the air.
3/3
Expanding on that, how're you doin in the midst of that shitshow, Talik? The two of them get to arguing, it can arse up the moods of all present, and nay I won't feign I'm not speakin from experience.
I've naught but respect for your keepin Sergiy quiet from Deimos, and Deimos far from Sergiy. Got to protect your son, aye, and once Darius gets going there's no chance protecting anyone.
Such was the case, anyrate. Can't speak for no, as I've no experience with this sobriety getting married new leaf state, save what I've glimpsed in the group chats.
What was it happened with Maksym? Eh if you're of a mind for saying. Don't know if that'd be an awkward thing for talking whilst you're around him and family and all.
1
[...]
In fairness, however, I did some of it to myself by thinking of stopping you from speaking badly of my Vevay.
You kneeling for me, your hands in one of mine, mouth too occupied to say such things.
[...]
Better still, sharing the act. Letting me do the same for you. Would you like this? It could keep both of us from talking.
[...]
I need practice. It's been nine or ten years.
But you'll let me practice on you, Vevay, isn't that so? It can be very devotional, like communion - your body on my tongue.
[...]
There. That's the last of it.
And I am going to have a moment in the shower. A long moment.
It should be warm by now.I'll respond to the rest after.
2
There.
It's amazing what a hot shower will do to clear the mind.
I can focus on the rest and - perhaps pretend I never said the things I did. [...] Vevay, you do this to me. You make me strange, starving, twisted every direction so that my mind feels inflamed. It's a fever, wanting you. I can think of nothing but touching what's still out of reach, and of holding my Nova, of velvet, of your eyes pleading and hands out and waiting.
A 'moment' helps quiet the fever, but doesn't drive it away.
At least I can think about something other than how much I long for you.
This matter with Senan, for example. I think you may be right and have found exactly the cause for his anger.
He never has cared for strong emotions. Negative ones, I mean to say. Obviously, he feels strong emotions about Rin.
I wonder if Darius knows this about Moira. I'll mention it.
Thank you, my clever Vevay.
[...]
Thank you for assisting me in the shower, also. I was and am very appreciative.
3
It isn't much of a story, though. He's young, he had some troubles in his teenage years and again when he reached majority. Drinking, partying, these things.
He was arrested twice for possession in New York, so I told him finally he couldn't be near Sergiy if he couldn't control himself. Sergiy adores my brother and I think Maksym knew this would break his heart. So, he tried to stop. It took a few years, but he has been sober for [...] two years? Maybe three.
He met Sunny after this and things have been good for him. They're trying to start a family.
[...]
Sunny is the one with the red hair from my video. American, from Seattle. I think you would like her. [...] She's cheerful, very happy always, and so people call her Sunny, which she says is also because there's no sun in Seattle, so it's ironic?
Eh. Her real name is Sonia, which is very nice, as well.
1/2
Forty five minutes you’re out and your Vevay’s thinking on you all that time and just how envious of your own hands, doing what mine’d like best 😔
Eh, nah, can’t begrudge my Talik a quality shower, in particular not after those days of freezing waters and the instigations of one eager twink c; Can’t even regret my own absence too very far, seeing as I was there for a helping hand if spirit if naught else 🥴🧡
Here and, look, here I’ve been thinking how I’d like that taste of you and how I’d bring you to the best of exaltations, then thinking as well the act made mutual, and you tromp in stirring things up all over again!
Apt to need that shower myself soon, no denying. Fuck of it is I’m back to basement wiring, rip rip rip to myself til this is over and done with, aye, and how shall I survive??
Got lots of ways for surviving, happens. Got lots of thoughts to keep me occupied, and if some of em are to be further compromising, aye so be it. It’s like you said, not so much clear evidence of my trouble unless I make it so, aye? c;
Here and ey! Nothing’s to say a gentleman can’t also show off evidence to his boyfriend! Some might say it’d be real generous of him
Presuming I’m catching your meaning right, here’s me going ahead with saying I’ve naught but mirth over dick pics unsolicited and sudden, but for dick pics sent by someone has my interest and my conversation both? That right there’s a different story, catch me? c;
Not pushing, for sake of clarity! Only there’s no shying from my end, and likesaid, I’d think yourself no less a gentleman, were such a day and pic to show up.
Fair to say also, there’s naught could make you less a gentleman, far’s I’m concerned. Only kind of gentleman I care for’s one with a range of expressions, ey? Kind and devastating in said kindness aye and in his empathies, right bold and bit of a dork, knock out with full on explicit n illicit poetry, down to fuck up what plagues the world’s inhabitants and down to fuck his Vevay stupid. c;
Man of contrasts, you! And here I am, living on and reveling over every one. Got me star eyed, Talik, eh and that’s something, isn’t it? Adding stars to him who’s astral already 🧡🧡
Also I’m acknowledging I said I’d hush it on the salacious talk, but fair’s fair and you went telling me about that shower, what’s a Vevay meant to do hey? 🥺
Keep seeing my hands and thinking how much better off they’d be pinned secure and sound within your own. >:3
2/2
Maksym first, because it needs saying that’s fuckin solid work on his end, ey, cheers to the lad! Hard shite getting clean, and got to image that goes double at the age most’re hitting the stuff with a vengeance.
Cheers to you as well, and here I mean more like utmost respect and myself pointing out again what a commendable father you are, setting out bounds around Sergiy and keeping em even among those closest to you. That’s no small thing and no small feat, and your boy’s lucky indeed to have you for his father, and to have love of your family, besides. Christ but you’ve done all’s possible for keeping kindness keeping fondness in his life, making sure he knows he’s loved.
Say again, it’s no small thing, not in the least.
Sunny and Sonia are top level names both. Like to meet her, aye. Like to meet all of yours, and every time you speak of em and every time I give that video a fresh watch, that resolve goes deeper.
Aye and every time I watch that vid, my longing to share space with you’d spiked, turns a catching in my throat and a hitch within this chest. Figure you can guess as much. Figure it’s worth saying, regardless.
[ … ]
Speaking with Sen about you now. We’ve been talking you and talking Rin and what’s on in NYC and talking Moira, and bless the the noodle of a man for hearing me out. Got worlds to say on the subject of you. [ … ] Turned myself to, eh, teared up eyes over again, but this time it’s less the maudlin and more the wonder of you, Talik.
…Question for you while I’m thinking it. Might be something I ought to’ve sussed already but eh. Talking with Sen or talkin with anyone knows you well. Is it ‘Vitaly’ I’m going with, or is ‘Talik’ permissible? No arguments from myself either way, only I’d like knowing for sure and aye, if it’s a name I can use outside you and I, I’m inclined toward it.
Well and either way I’m saying it here and I’m saying it now
My Talik. 🧡🧡
About Moira, Darius oughtta know and ought to have known, but I’ll allow there were those recent years with Sen being away and then by all accounting this past year’s been a whirlwind for all them in New York, so maybe there’s some cause for blanking on it. Ain’t a fuckin excuse, nay, but shite happens sometimes this way.
[ … ]
Your mentioning the fact. That strikes me as a good, aye. Someone ought to clue the shithead in before Rin comes to skin him living.
Granted they might do as much anyway, dependent on how Sen’s [ … ] managing. But shithead that he is, my money’d be on Scarface forgetting over Scarface bein an arse about this particular matter.
How’d you come to know the lot of them, by the by? Myself, it happened through Sen and Lolly, ey up Yorkshire lads etc. Seems you’ve as much a history with em as myself, so I’ll confess to curiosity on the how of it.
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Well. The first.
Thinking about your hands - and of water rushing along your body, dampening the vines, and how tattoos darken when wet - made it so once wasn't enough. How I would love to see you in water.
[...]
That's another thing you can talk with me about in two days, when I'm alone. Water against your skin; what is the word -
Rivulets along your shoulder, down your back. [...] Wine also, to catch with my tongue.
Would you let me do this to you, as well? I'd like to see a drop roll along your skin. Your thigh, maybe. Your throat.
Other places.
[...]
I asked you to stop torturing me. I never said I would stop giving you thoughts to keep you warm.
Ah, but only if you don't mind. If it's wanted. If I know it pleases you, then I can ignore the cringing within myself. You respond so eagerly it makes me surprised; you must know that isn't a familiar experience for me.
[...]
You mentioned my poetry. I don't like speaking of sex [...] or anything intimate with focus on the bare act, or on the components. What I would do with my cock and how - ah, it's well for joking, but it signifies something about the way a man thinks of himself, doesn't it? And about how he thinks of his lover.
He inhabits his "manhood", and his partner is only for receiving what he gives.
It doesn't make me uncomfortable in the same way, to speak of it. Perhaps because it's so base, or disconnected.
The connection thrills me. Knowing what you like, and that we share so many pleasures, thrills me. Speaking to you of all the things in between, around the what and how and cocks is where I find myself shaken.
Light and shadow on your body, which must be unclothed, must be arranged to allow the light. For a drop of wine to roll down any part of you, you must position yourself. Bend your knee. Arc your throat.
For me to taste you as you take me in your own mouth, you must kneel over me.
Do you see?
You participate. You enjoy, you welcome. Hopefully, you burn under my hands as I would under yours.
Sex - fucking quiets the inferno built by all of this; it sates. (Unless the fucking becomes a key component. Even then, Vevay, where is my attention, eh? Your cock or where your legs and hands might be? How your body works against mine.)
It still makes me uneasy. If it's spoken, it's gone in the next moment. Here, the evidence remains of possible missteps, which so far haven't been missteps.
The intensity of it startles me, I think. To my own mind, it seems explicit to an extreme, such that I'm left wondering that you aren't disgusted with me.
I've felt the disgust of others.
I've felt my own for others when their words were the what and how of their "throbbing" anythings.
[...]
Forgive me this [...] wondering. Supposition? Would you tell me if I'm right or wrong?
I wonder if your cock isn't central to your sense of desire as it is with some other men. If you feel it deeper, tidal, as I do. Maybe having some control of physical expressions of desire makes it easier to pay attention to the depth.
I'll admit, there is a point when even I am blinded and made base by physical need. Less so now with age
although if anyone can provoke me to saying unspeakable things, I think it would be youWell, whatever the reason, I'm glad for it. I'm glad you enjoy more than just the core act.
I'm very glad you like my words. I think?
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