kingdomsofrain | texts texts texts

I've spoken with Darius about you; I've asked him if he has any thoughts about your children and how this situation might be managed.

That will be enough for now.

They aren't empty words, my Vevay. You'll see them again.

[...]

In the meantime, I am going to take these thoughts you've given me and put them very quietly in the back of my mind where they can't torment me.

Or not very much.

I'll be leaving here in three days for Berlin; maybe I'll let the thoughts rise to the fore again and have several moments of my own.

[...]

How did the rewiring go, with the basement that is really a basement and not anyone's downstairs?

A savings account, is that it?

It strikes me well. Up on a shelf it goes, to be viewed as I pleased and saved for those days to come and their possibilities.

Meanwhile, there’s a plentitude of other cause for blushing, ey? And I’m sure your Vevay’ll find more, intended and otherwise. 🧡

Much of it liable to send your sister back to disgust, but eh, Irisha finds herself flinching for the bleach bottle, that’s her own doing. Locked phones ain’t for prying, and those who enter uninvited best reap their consequences. Aye and aromantic’s well and good, but all the more cause she should keep care in snooping.

Could be that shaving cream’ll teach her. c;

Could be she’ll try nosing again and find herself leveled by a newfound iteration of the romantic. RIP to the lady herself, if that’s so. I’ve no mind to cease with the romantic, nor to do other than thrive in it and chase it with my Talik, far and further still. 🧡🧡

Read the meaning of that moment right, you did.

Fact of the matter is I wasn’t keen on [ … ] let’s say filling chat and crowding your ear with too much that’s woeful, and there’s a lot I’ve got where it comes to Liza and Nicky. Eh, not them themselves, of course, but all those circumstances surrounding.

Not to say I figured you’d mind it. Only [ … ] you’ve your own sources for affliction, aye? And seems they’re roaring plenty as is.

[ … ]

That said, you’ve met my feeling all over again, there with what you said about hearts unbared, and truth, I can’t think there’s creation without eh fullness for disclosure, and meeting what’s spoke with open arms and eyes alike. So right I [ … ]

Here. That in mind, your Vevay’ll keep to speaking that malaise of mine as it hits me. Only if it’s overmuch any time, you tell me, right?

Right, and I trust you for that, as for all else.

[ … ]

You’ve got me hoping, Talik. That aye, I’ll see my kids again. That maybe [ … ] they can be mine again, and maybe they’d like it. It’s you’ve taken my hand and guided me toward so much as seeing hope in this matter, and that’s no small feat.

It’s been, eh, more or less despairing on that matter for longer than’s pleasant for saying. Years now. [ … ] Been five since they were ~~taken~~ ~~reclaimed~~ [ … ] taken. Three since recognition started setting in, that they weren’t [ … ] coming back. Since grasping that getting word to either of em, and I mean word they’d be sure to receive and word wouldn’t be intercepted, wouldn’t be clear and viable til years down the line.

[ … ]

If they’re happy and cared for, if she’s learned to be a parent to em both and if her husband now’s the same, I’ve no intent to rock that boat. Christ knows they’ve had enough of upheaval. Might be my attempting reentry’d only make matters murkier, turn em upside down all over again.

I’m [ … ] hard pressed believing it’s as bright as that. But I’ve no proof, and no right way of knowing. Fuckers have been blocked and barred, same for Roza, and we’ve both tried. Don’t think that fact bodes well for their intentions toward the kids, keeping the both of us restricted, but then and again, it’s nothing I can say certain.

Well. But if Darius’s clued in [ … ] might be there’s something he can find. They can’t hide everything, however evasive they’re keeping.

Thank you, Talik.

For speakin to him, for listening. For your assurances. There’s relief hearing you speak all this. Knowing your words aren’t empty, never are, and christ’s truth, I’ve heard no words nor voice truer, none I’d better trust.

If there’s ever been a chance for the kids, fuck and if there’s ever been a chance for reaches more besides, it’s here and with you.

I'd call myself a lucky bastard, but that'd not say the half of it. Better to say it that I've light in my heart and fire new grown in my soul. Better to say I've a word on a shelf and a boyfriend speaking beauty across texts. Better to say I've got my Talik, and I'm thinking, I feel there's naught that can be set against us.

For the rest, rewiring went more mess than progress. Ought to’ve been done in three maybe four hours, only client wouldn’t cease asking questions. On its own that’s nothing I grudge, glad for curiosity glad for those watching to learn and glean a few things for theirselves. Thing is the stoddy bastard wasn’t so much learning as leaning in toward live wires and thinking he’d take an uninformed hand to the process.

Had to ban him from the room, only he kept ambling back. Fucking headache, more so as the man wasn’t inhospitable, nor ill of intent. Just eh, bit gormless bit old, bit lonely.

Eh. Finishing it up tomorrow, fingers crossed and presuming he don’t take it on himself to tear out a brace of sockets.

Problems for tomorrow, those.

Got better things for focus now. Better thoughts for entertaining, letting take their place in imagining and grow. Because there’s this notion now of my Talik finding hisself a spot of privacy in three days’ time. Because there’s thoughts of what that privacy might bring, and how moj ukochany’s like to shake with it, how it’s Berlin’ll take my jealousy for hearing of that howl.

You’ll have to tell me how it goes, ey Talik? 🥴

Aye, and if you find yourself in need of fresh thoughts for rising and for torment, your Vevay’s here and ready with em, count on that. …Speaking fair and truth, might raise a few such thoughts regardless. My efforts will be made for veering from brutality, that’s so! But some thoughts and dreams’ll out and there’s just no helping it. 🧡

What’s got you headed to Berlin? (Apart from the siren’s call of a private momment, course c;)

ШЗХ

You tease 🥺

Nova you tease me 🥺

[...]

~~ШЗХ~~

[...]

[...]

[ In Ukrainian: ]

Why would you say such a thing? Now I can't help but wonder what fresh thoughts you have. I was almost calm for the first time today, but that's done with, isn't it? I should show you what you do to me, but I have suspicions that you'd only enjoy it.

Beloved, you are going to kill me before I ever meet you in person - which would be worse than my current condition, my lack of privacy, my longing for you.

Dying before I have the chance to feel your skin's give beneath my touch, or hear how many ways you transform my name, or see the look in your eyes.

Before I ever see or taste or stroke you.

Before I ever know how well you take me.

Or I you.

Can you imagine a worse death than this?

No, you have to be fair. You have to let me live long enough to hold your hands behind your back while I caress your hardness. To see the light and shadows strike across your tattoos as you ride me. Just once - if not every night of my life.

😘😘😘

[ And in English: ]

Save translating that for tomorrow morning, eh? It's a message to take with you to your next job, since the rewiring was so provoking. [...] Like a - goodbye kiss.

Have a wonderful day at work, мій коханий. 😘💙

c:

Edited 2024-02-26 00:41 (UTC)

I'm trusting you to save my last message for tomorrow morning!

In particular, this is because I want to focus not on our romance (which I promise you, Vevay, will be romance through all the days we share) but on the other matter.

Thank you for speaking so freely with me. Please, коханий, always know you can tell me your troubles. Would you really feel happiness if you thought you could only feel happiness with me? It's better to have a partner who will stand beside you, hold you through the worst as well as the best.

I will, Nova. I want this.

I believe the same of you, for me.

[...]

If you believe this woman is mistreating Nicky and Liza, then the first thing to do is find evidence, as you suggest.

But I'll ask you something, which you don't have to answer today.

Think it through.

What would you like to do if they are happy and cared for? Would it be enough for you to know, and see them again a time or two?

And.

If they are unhappy, if they are mistreated. Do you care how Darius and I might handle this? Legal channels only?

Or, would you wish to remain in the dark, but not restrict us to certain methods?

You know what I've done these past two years. You know, also, my thoughts about children taken from good homes. From loving parents, and into hostile places. There is very little that troubles me about the ways of bringing them to safety and love, except that you have a [...] 'moral objection'.

[...]

[...]

I used believe most people are good and kind. ~~I used to love~~ I used to be better.

I believed that everyone sees reason. Everyone knows right from wrong, and more, that everyone desires what's right when these things are clear.

I stopped believing in this for a very long time - for a while, I found my faith renewed when everyone here rose up together and fought. But [...] seeing people at the fucking beach here in Odesa as though nothing is happening in the north, this lethargy, this delusion that we aren't at war. Seeing children vanish from cities and the world does nothing. Seeing America's congress refuse to help us because of a disagreement about their own immigration. The Polish threatening to ally with Russia because of grain and commerce.

Seeing your country become a haven for the same hate we've all grown so sick of hearing.

The world is a sometimes terrible place. Many times.

I felt my belief dying again; that's so.

But then you, Nova. Then you. A reminder that rightness still exists. Good people, loving, fascinating people. Fathers who care for their children, they still exist. Men whose hearts beat like yours, strong and immediate and fierce.

[...]

Well. If I can put one thing right in this world, why not this, for you?

Edited 2024-02-26 01:16 (UTC)

All the way til tomorrow? You’re asking that I let this wait, words from my Talik unread and unknown, here where I could read em were it not for imposing self restraint??

Ey, Talik, you’ve got to see restraint’s not always my strongest suit. 🥺

Aye, but as it’s you who’ve asked, and as these’re words gifted from you your own self

…I suppose.

Well I s u p p o s e. For you. For my Talik! Your Vevay will endeavor this prodigious task! All patience I’m calling to my side, eh, and what’s twelve hours, not even so many as that, paired against twelve days?

Aye, I’ll grit my teeth, and close these eyes against the call of ready made translation. That’s me running a fingertip across the message, and that’s me telling it wait in ready, that Vevay’s not going far and soon as I wake tomorrow, I’ll be learning what’s in store. That goodbye kiss of a message’ll be mine, and no mistaking.

See what you do to me? For you and none other, I’ve pulled all the stops out for restraint.

Can guess you’ll be hearing from me soon as morning’s struck and I’ve read it, though. Can’t keep me from that!

Methods, that. Your meaning catches clear with me, and most case I’d speak a full on fuck em and full speed whatever method’s quickest.

For this, it’s [ … ]

I’d say variable.

[ … ]

Dependent on how they’re treated.

Not sure that woman’s the monster as I’ve witnessed and felt it, or whether it’s [ … ] eh, experience of my own colouring the case. Might be there’s naught amiss about her, or little enough. Might be the man she’s married’s better than she was and that’s changed things.

[ … ]

Might be. And then might not, and cycles recurring as they do and some folks being averse to any kind of self improving [ … ]

Hard to say, Talik. It’s right hard to say without knowing more and [ … ] trouble’s been finding anything at all. I know my feeling and I know the speaking of my gut in this. But then likesaid, I’ve got and Roza’s got cause for seeing none too clear.

[ … ]

Thing is, they stymied her husband from looking as well. Aye, Robert, that’s him. She says he tried looking into it, got the same locked doors, accounts closed. Same goes for any friends close enough for asking to look.

Sense I get is they’ve an eye on both of us. It’s them or else it’s [ … ] the ones would’ve been my parents. Were parents to whatever they thought my younger self to be.

Either way, there’s another point’s not easy to reconcile with lives well lived. Which [ … ] also ain’t to say they’re not caring for the kids. Could be their shite’s directed our way only, wouldn’t be the first case of the sort.

[ … ]

Ought to’ve done more, looking into them. Looking out for the kids. Fuck me.

[ … ]

Point’d be [ … ] circumstances’d dictate what’s right with me. Don’t mean to be troublesome in this, nor vague though I ken I’m being just so. [ … ] Guess my meaning’s if there’re tried and true and legal ways doing it, might be that’s best for the kids, nothing to haunt em in later years. But then if they’ve done badly by Liza and Nicky, and if as well they’ve dug themselves in past point of the tried and true meaning a fuck [ … ]

In that case, aye, there’s no ceiling I’d set on what’s acceptable, nor commendable. Some cases, there’s naught for doing save what’s [ … ] that, best done in quieter corners.

[ … ]

Needs saying, I’m thinking, or needs reiterating I’ve no censure placed on one method or another, most cases.

My worry here’s for the kids, and for what questions they’d one day come to.

That aside and speaking in general, there’s plenty in existence would do best with a crushed skull or a shot of arsenic, no footing around that. And I’ve only laudation, aye approval toward those who deliver what’s needed.

[ … ]

It’s a fact I wish you were here just now. Wished it before, not feigning elsewise, but [ … ] fuck me if the void ain’t staring back.

Forgive your Vevay the morose outflow, hey? Also the prevaricating, eh, don’t care for it much my own self and I’d rather be set and certain. Only it’s rocky, all this. My belief now’s it’ll turn out well one way or any other. There’s plenty questions left afloat, that’s it.

There's this to speak as well.

First that I've no wish to come off graceless nor ungrateful. Saying what you've done and what you're looking toward means the world'd be an understatement, that's so.

What's true as well's that you've got the right of it, saying I'd want the same from yourself and for yourself. What's good and what's ill, what cheers my Talik and what gnaws him, all's welcome with his Vevay.

You've been clear with me in all your speaking, as in all you are. That's valuable beyond measure. It's something I want always aye, for you and I and us, whatever follows for the future in whatever time.

Be with me always, Talik, ~~for better an~~ best and worst, in upset and in peace utmost. It's what I want from you and for you, truth. 🧡🧡

Edited 2024-02-26 04:01 (UTC)

[ ... ]

...Isn't NOT a particular kind of torment, leaving this message unread and for morning.

rip rip rip to Vevay

If I pass on before morning comes, you'll know it's curiosity killed the twink.

...Course I'm jesting. But eh, whomst among us Shitheads has no touch of the dramatic, hey? c;

Edited 2024-02-26 04:01 (UTC)

fuckgin CHRIS THRALIVE

EY YOU WEN T TAND

!?!?!!!!!

[ ... ]

T A L I K

EY TALIK

VITALY

TALIK TALIK T A L I K !!!!

Right

Right

First fuckin

TALIK

Apt to spend the next hour lying here flat to floor, knocked me out's what you did straight the fuck away and here I've just woke up

j e s u s

Jesus fuckin wepT went all in for that one ey?? (Aye as if I believe that's all the game you've got christ almighty who's gonna kill who hey??)

Can't say ain't fair play to yourself nor that I didn't ask it down on me

Saying that like it ain't a blessing, what you said 🥴

Sayin that like I've not read the translation five times over and like all you said's not entered the halls of my desiring

Fuck me. Aye and here again I mean it all ways, fuck me.

All that. All that you said, aye and thank yoU, best not be idle words Talik >:o

Nah, not idle at all, that I'm sure of 🥴🥴🥴

Going to ruin me, you. S h i t E

Mm. Here lies Nova. He was so very wronged.

This, after leaving his Talik languishing for an entire day, but who can call this a crime worthy of such a punishment?

c:

Good morning, коханий.

I don't think Google translates poetically at all. Don't you deserve better and more than the idea of what I wrote?

No, you should know how I would say it in either language.

Let me help. Here.

[ 'Here' being an accurate, poetic, and somewhat graphic translation of what he wrote the night before.

Sent very quickly.

Clearly, he had it waiting and ready to go. ]

And -

[...]

[...]

Oh, Vevay. I'm sorry; I should have kept awake last night. I never would have left you to that void. My Nova.

Are you well this morning? [...] Aside from my goodbye kiss, I mean.

Please, коханий. If I don't respond to your messages and you need me, or even if you don't need me, but feel this void again, call me. I don't turn my phone off this way at night; I always answer.

I might not be completely awake, but I'll answer.

It's your place, yes? You have a right to call me whenever you need me. Even if all is well now or if it will pass - or even if you didn't think of it last night, I'm saying it's so now. Until I can be beside you, call me when you feel this way.

You aren't alone, Vevay. Never again are you alone.

For the other thing. It doesn't have to be extremes. My first instinct isn't to murder everyone in my path, though Darius probably still does this.

I mean placing pressure where it might help convince minds to see your way of thinking.

We'll look at the situation first, you and I together. Once we know what we know, then I'll give you some choices and you can tell me what you think is best for this.

Don't worry. We'll hire someone to look into things. It's easier this way than to try and send in familiar faces - and I can ask Iryna to help. She can get into locked phones, and she can do other such things on social media.

~~Or to internet services.~~

Enri perhaps, also.

Trust your Talik. 💙

[...]

[...]

What means 'twink'?

[...]

~~Fuck~~

I know that isn't right.

It's early.

[...]

What is meaning

How

What does 'twink' mean?

Here lies Nova, five times ovah. Fuckin died and done with, he.
Shock to the system gifted by his Talik, aye, his Vitaly.

x.x x.x x.x

How’d you go and make it more excruciating, giving me that English? Sayin it again, j e s u s.

Eh but you’re on about google translate. It’s got none of your verve. None of your passion, not your poetry.

[ … ]

Truth, I’ll be expecting your palm a stroke against my cock. Want you against me, in me, that as well, and holding me throughout.

No telling what you’ll learn about your Vevay, when all this comes to pass.

Christ alive Talik I’m meant to be headed off to work and here all can think’s how well I’d like to be ensconced upon your cock. 🥴 Light and shadows, holy fuckin revelry.

Callin it, I’m heading over late this day. Rewiring can hold on for a few til I’ve got it in myself to stand again without wobbling over.

An eternity of expiration and reunifying at your hands, can’t say I begrudge the thought.

Guess I’ll be bringing you the same, just as well.

Much to be dreamt on, my Talik. Much to be anticipated, aye, in utmost and dare I say it agonizing, wondrously agonizing eagerness. c; 🧡

😅 Calling me out on this one, ey Talik?

Nah, jesting, as I’ve not a doubt you’re asking earnest. About ‘twink,’ I mean, eh, fuck me.

Fact of the matter is a twink proper speaking’d be more like half my age and more exclusively into anyone who knows hisself as a man or masc than my pan self admits, but. Eh, got the body type for it, there’s that. Looks good from outside, if not happens the brightest, speaking for thought capacities.

To my credit, the term’s taken on more leeway of late, or has far’s I can tell. Might be I’ve no eh ‘true’ claim to the idea, but fact is it keeps coming back to association with myself from outside, and fact is I like it well enough from my own viewing.

Aye well and, aged as I am and aged as I sometimes feel, and even accounting for the hairs that’ve set themselves to grey, can’t say there’s not some small aspect of youthfulness I embody, hey?

Right, recognizing I’ve given no definition of the word or nothing like. So put it briefly, young (or youthful!) man with habits toward the charms of other men or masculine folks, slight of build and eh, often prone to fits of either self displaying or the dramatic.

Likesaid, doesn’t fit entire, happens, but it ain’t full fledged misplaced either. And it pleases me, so I’ll take it on myself, on top of knowing its been given to me, and not only through decades past.

Well and here.

I’m your boyfriend, so. Why not let Vevay be yr twink as well? c;

Don’t think a moment on your falling off to sleep, Talik. 🧡 I want you rested. Want you well.

That void’s always nigh for stumbling against, get me? It’s nothing can’t be eased. It’s nothing doesn’t clear up with a night’s sleep, and what’s helped here’s reading your words and playing for myself a while.

I’ll keep that to me, what you said about calling. And I’ll keep it in my notice, if it comes to needing.

[ … ]

Hazard is I’m thinking I’ll always need you, Talik. But then I do know my limits, what I’ve got and can’t get sorted on my own.

…Can’t say there’s no appeal in it, the thought of your voice half caught sleeping.

That said, there’s ease alone in knowing you’re there. As was the case this night last. Knew you’d be with me come morning. Knew the words I sent wouldn’t keep unread or without answer. There’s nothing in me needs immediate response, not often, not typically at all. The fact of knowing you’re htere and will be there

Aye, that’s plenty on its own.

Still and all, here me acknowledging and here’s me writing into memory, if all pulls too sharp, I’ll call you, and not worry too overmuch about distressing your sleep.

That is, I’ll fret about it some, there’s no help for that. But I’ll know what you’d prefer, and I’ll know you’d not leave me when I need you, and when the night’s gone voiceless. When I need nearer sign it’s not myself against the night, or when knowledge alone’s not enough to fight what gnaws.

My Talik. I’ll be right enough, and I’m plenty all right now, apart from this fact of being compromised in ways no voice can ease, ey? Got your words to keep me through the day. Got the realness of yourself to catch around me, and think, eleven days now.

Only eleven days. 🧡🧡

I’d beg your pardon for my jumping toward extremes, but then you ken my knowledge of Darius, and as you’ve nodded toward, the man ain’t apart from his own bloody notions.

[ … ]

I’d like that, to talk it through. Review what options might be reached for, what might be most effective or efficient.

Don’t know much wrt Iryna’s talents or [ … ] Enri’s? (He got a facility for those locked phones and beyond, then?)

I do know I trust you, your own self, Talik. I know there’s nothing you’d venture nor a thing you’d afford without thought, without [ … ] cognizance of what I’d asked, and what my children might need.

Pressure’s got it’s place, that’s so. Particularly in the case of those who live theirselves beyond the touch of law.

[ … ]

Won’t say it doesn’t help, your saying this. Your speaking clear with me, and showing [ … ] you’ve no shame against methods more and less, say, generous.

It’s a world of good you do me, and far beyond.

And I’ll rest easier one way or another, knowing Nicky and Liza or well, or else knowing that they’ll be well, whatever [ … ] circumstances dictate now.

[ … ]

Fuckin. Said you’d make a sound father.

The truth of it only comes clearer. My beautiful and brilliant hearted, warm souled Talik. What was the world before you, hey? Less, and lacking. Less, but waiting, aye, waiting for be found and grown.

Oh, you mean like Darius and Senan.

чебурашка.

I like Бархотка better for talking of that kind; the first one means for children, also, so it has some negative connotation.

Бархотка doesn’t mean all the things you say, though.

No dramatics. It’s only a young man who likes -

[…]

Forgive me, this isn’t a conversation I have in English often.

It’s a young man who […] receives. шзх the word for it.

[…]

Bottom.

But this word, it means “velvet”, also. You can draw conclusions why.

Does twink mean this, also, or is it both bottom and top?

[…]

Now I want to see how you look undressed; you’re speaking in very high terms about your body for such a decrepit old man.

You don’t look even a little so, Vevay. I thought maybe you were 36, 37?

Eh, how old are you? And! When are you born.

No, this is wrong -

You see how it is for me in the morning? Aroused and not speaking English well.

This is your problem to deal with from now on. 😏 Better learn Ukrainian quick.

[…]

When is your birthday? There, that’s correct.

Me, mine is June 28. I’ll have 45 years.

[…]

~~Fucking~~ I will BE 45 years.

Maybe I’ll have a twink for my birthday?🥳

[…]

Vevay -

Do you prefer to be this? Bottom, not twink.

I don’t mind to top. I like both fine. But it’s fun to give; I can do more other things at the same time.

Would you want to know the word for a man who prefers to be top?

топтун.

One who tramples.

All this in Russian, not Ukrainian. It’s more common to hear that in Kyiv.

They aren’t polite, the words, but they aren’t so […] slurs? Derogatory. They aren’t this so much. Like “queer” maybe. Depends who says them.

You said something I don’t understand, but think perhaps it wasn’t kind about yourself.

About your brightness and thought capacity.

[…]

Enri has been texting me this week, telling me all about how Darius “fucks him stupid”.

For some people, maybe this is easy to do because they already have very little intelligence. (Not Enri, just some people.)

So I’ll say it this way:

Vevay, I will fuck you stupid if you want, but it will take a lot of effort and I might die of exertion.

You are intelligent.

My perfect, intelligent twink. c:

3

1/3

2/3

3/3

1

2

3

1/3

2/3

3/4

4/4

next morning 1/3

next morning 2/3

next morning 3/3

1

2

3

4

5

1

2

3

4/4

1

2