tfln open post

[byanyname]

***

either leave a message (or set of muses) for one of my assholes, or request a message from one of them. choose messages from the classic source, from your own skull, or whatever you may please.

Comments

treavor pendleton | dishonored

[loyalless]

1) It is cold now but I suppised that doesn't mind YOU. Well SOME of us need to be warmed up and SOME of us use wine. I DONTNOT need to hear it. Please. As if I haven't heard!

2) They say the answer is nevr at the bottom of the bottle, but you never know... and so iI must be a great explorer.

3) I have never met a hen before today and never do I wish to meet a hen again. Small small eyes, go get stepped on by an cow!!

4) I dont know whY you have this study. Not MY study, only here I am. Very CONVENIENT of you to have had it! Very convenient, this horrid rug!! Put Treavor with the horrid rug, they said!

4

[lostyourheart]

It was Brom's study.

I assure you, I would have been pleased to keep that door shut and locked for good, but your manservant insisted you required just such a space.

[...]

It is a horrid rug.

1

[lostyourheart]

Are you cold, Dear One?

I'll fetch you a quilt, if you haven't thoroughly warmed yourself with wine.

[...]

Or is it another sort of coldness? That which comes of too much solitude?

I know it well, myself. Perhaps I have been unmindful of that cold for too long.

I could sit beside you and chase away the loneliness, if you would allow it. Would you hate my presence?

treavor pendleton | dishonored

[loyalless]

1) The cow winked at me. It’s coming for my blood.

2) my socks re broken oh no

3) When I die, I intend to use the final dredges of my strength to flip them off.

4) i’ ve important idea to tell you about a nimal  scratching my nose once and what it taught me. remind me when less alcohol, it is importnt DONT LET ME FORGET.

5) She hasn’t liked me ever since she overheard me call their flower girl a slut.

6) i’m SORROW.!

don’t aks me whY!

hm i sppose it is all over now!

7) It’s no fault of mine that she hasn’t seen my dick.

8) I tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on lying down in the flowers because they were your pretty emotional support. In the end, I just sat beside you.

3

[lostyourheart]

[Because #3 seems like maybe. It could be a ruse. Is he coming home, perhaps? Is he secretly in a carriage, but pretending to be annoyed about someone? :O WHO KNOWS.]

I think you ought to use the last of your strength to avoid dying, so that you might live forever. Not merely to spite them, Dearest, but so that I might have you long enough to fulfil every need I have to enjoy you! (I intend to live forever, by the way. And then three weeks longer than that! Please prepare to do the same.)

That said, I am inclined to ask: why, pray tell?

8

[lostyourheart]

[and also some drunk!katrina]

no no sweatheert

sweat heer t ? heert heert hardt

hard? swijthard

no that's

lover :)

what

OH

No no. I said I was pretty! I am very pretty and som etimes emotional the flowers werre only to support me you see like singing but shh very quiet. i am to be like a painting ?

Was I not a painting a

table

tab loj

French is an atrocity i have decided and we must tell all the french so immeddiately. tablow tabl

TABLEUA no that's also it sounds also like low why is it not tablow

treavor i am pretty and emotional

hold my hand.

treavor pendleton | modern au

[sweatycoward]

1) apparently it's not ocially ACCEPTBLE to vomit blood :/

2) at the hospital but not AT at the hospital. followed someone here? i think. lost in a waiting room. gonna get a burger oatmeal.

3) Yeah she kept referring to her vagina as a ‘landscape,’ I mean. Same old same old.

4) I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job when he broke his wrist. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.

5) yeh she said something something 'i can drink as much as i want but it's not gonna make your forehead any smaller'

6) it wasn't a slip n slide :/ still fun also painful my arm is?? not good. or and my shoulder? hmm okay though they gave me friend forthe pain :D

7) You have to come! It’s her birthday. :c

8) The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital.

8 - WHERE ARE YOU THIS IS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE THIS FUCKING USERNAME

[plantdaddy]

At your age, anyone who wants you to look up to them as a father figure also wants you to look up to them from the end of their prick.

Two questions:

- Does this mean you're at the hospital?

- Why are you taking cabs instead of ubers?

morgan pendleton | dishonored

[halfdozenoftheother]

1) Fractured collar bone’s her problem, not mine. She knows the risks.

2) Masturbating while attached to a heart monitor sends the nurses running.  

3) She isn’t anything. She doesn’t amount. I’ll wipe her from the world for you.

4) I feel like letting one of the guys who shot him dig the bullet out of his leg with a hunting knife was the bigger mistake.

5) Hospital, ditch, or prison?

6) Woke up naked with ten visible bite marks, two broken ribs, and a black eye. Might have ruptured something. A good night's work.

7) She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

8) As we waited for a manager to come open the door we broke while having sex, we decided to go round two in the hallway. Not bad for a 3-star hotel. 

daud | dishonored

[excultro]

1) Sure, we can have a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo.

2) There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUNK ASS BITCHES in this bar

3) Sometimes you jump the fence. Sometimes you slam your head against it.

4) That bag of teeth is my business.

5) piece of shiT has been avoiding me for twenty years. >:C COME HERE AND FACE ME!!

6) There are worse things than squirrels.

darius scarlett

[onefellswoop]

1) You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.

2) Fuck my brother, I don't give a shit. Punch him in the dick while you're at it. Ungrateful little twat.

3) Who shows up to the big fucking get-together still drunk and freshly high on blow and and bags the negotiation of the decade? This guy. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up. Congratulate me.

4) You might've broken his nose at the bar but he still went home with me.

5) Is he the one who was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming the good puss since 1986"?

6) I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

1

[honeystuff]

that doesnt leave a lot of time for more fingering

[...]

glad you liked it ;)

6 i'm sorry i'm sorry

[ultimatenegative]

I am most emphatically not calling flower girls 'sluts', if that is the direction you were heading with your question.

- A question which, by the way, has arrived almost two years to the day since our last word exchanged via text.

I am at present sitting at the entrance of a very gay establishment, ensuring no one attempts to enter said gay establishment before they have reached the arbitrary age of twenty-one, at which time they may legally enter and be as gay as they please. And drink, if they so desire.

And you are right where I last saw you, it would seem. Cut off from your Manhattans? Excellent. We can pick up where we left off. Prior to the last text, sent at 3:45 a.m. on March the 26th, 2019 - 'Fuck you and the cock you rode in on' - we were discussing the merits of neo-classical architecture. I can assure you that I still find it laughably pretentious, particularly in its American iteration. Thomas Jefferson should be resurrected and beaten with Monticello's tacky "Doric" columns.

Have you come to your senses?

Flower girls notwithstanding. (Don't slut-shame flower girls, Darius. Don't slut-shame anyone under 18. In fact, don't be in the same room as anyone under 18. You're a walking moral violation. A man of equal caliber to de Sade, himself.)

rin renault

[withoutrhetoric]

1) I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

2) Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in the bathtub and losing my watch.

3) I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. No suit. Just priest. Just lilies.

4) No, no, the problem isn't that he's a drug dealer. The problem's his inefficient and ineffective business model.

5) When she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

6) My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and realize I'm classy.

4

[ultimatenegative]

Pookie, you're missing the point.

Rather, those are indeed salient points from the perspective of one Rin ('Pookie') Renault - and I assure you, I do intend to give you the floor to elaborate upon the most efficient and effective business models for a purveyor of methamphetamines.

However. From the perspective of one who might wish to keep their oldest and dearest null unmolested by inefficient/ineffective businessmen of the sordid variety, I feel it bears repeating that he is a drug dealer, but also (and also?) (perhaps more demanding of acknowledgement than his line of work or business model?):

He is neglecting what was said by the old bard - Mr. Notorious B.I.G. himself, (may god rest his soul). He is getting high on his own supply.

Therein, Pookie, rests the likeliest problem with his business model.

I implore you. I beg. Please stop antagonizing the meth head.

treavor pendleton

[sweatycoward]

1) Nope, not going out tonight. We're trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey instead water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch. That's SCIENCE!!!

2) my socks are broken :c

3) Long story short, I left a note on the car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"

4) syrup is magic cleans the dishes over night boom no chores forever!

5) Followed a squirrel across the sidewalk everyone was very safe! Anyway I walked it home and now the squirrel's okay.

6) Kiss me on the forehead like I'm in a movie! :3

4

[plantdaddy]

And this is precisely why I told Sheldon not to give you Nyquil if he didn't intend to stick around and keep an eye on you.

That shit-for-brains

Fuck, I just want to be home

Fuck this storm fuck these planes fuck this cas

[...]

Thank you for doing the chores, Bunny.

Hey. Hey, why don't you hop into bed now? ;) Talk to me until you fall asleep. By the time you wake up, I'll be home. Probably

Fuck I hope

No more syrup without me, okay? Just [...] Bunny burritos. Wrap up!

I'm going to drown that boat-humping jackass

to Lydia

[onefellswoop]

(( following this thread.))

I’d like a moment of your time, Lydia.

Your choice: face-to-face - alone - or we can do this over text.

Sooner than not would be ideal.

[harpsibored]

[ She shows Morgan. Of course she does.

There aren't that many people here who would want a word with her. By process of elimination - those whose numbers she does and does not have - and with a little common sense, she decides it's Darius.

A question: why does he (still?) have her number.

A question: why is he asking for her time. (Asking, not demanding.)

To run interference between himself and the twins? No, he wouldn't be that stupid. He can't believe she'd ever help him, choose him over her own.

But there was the incident today. What occurred: Darius spoke out of turn, to Enri's bystanding detriment. Why this should matter to him, that he did so in front of her, that he should message her, is a mystery.

Some deliberative thought.

(Enri told him.) (Something occurred. Enri told.) (This could be a problem.) (...Maybe.)

She has conclusions. It wouldn't do to speak them to this creature. ]

What ever for.

for Sen (shortly after his return)

[withoutrhetoric]

Sen, where are you?

Where have you gotten yourself off to

Sen I can't seem to find you

[ ... ]

Tsk, I can't find Sen anywhere. Have you seen him? If so, or if you chance to come across him, could you let him know that he is sought after, in quite high demand?

[ultimatenegative]

As it so happens, I have seen him in passing. A glimpse in the mirror, behind the face terribly lined and marred by the eternal march of time. An uncertain waver in a metallic reflection on the stairs.

Sen is, I believe, haunting your bar.

[...]

Quite literally, as a matter of fact. I've found a lovely seclusion here at your barmaid's feet. (Is 'Andi' short for Andretti? I hope so. Or Andromeda!) (I asked and she threw an ice cube at me.)

In any case. If Sen is in such high demand -

We could hold a séance (a Senance?) and summon him forth.

throwback texts!

[withoutrhetoric]

1) No, but I have to go back for my earrings. If he asks for sex while I'm there, I mean, one more round can't hurt.

2) Do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "I love you champ. So much," then passing back out?

3) Think I found a decent side business - giving rides home to drunk executives. Very profitable.

4) You came into my rooming singing "shots, shots, shots," then walked to the drawer and threw socks everywhere singing "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

5) Please he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his over-enthusiastic dick.

throwback texts :O!

[onefellswoop]

1) Oh yeah I'm in a ditch.

2) Lost the fuck knife

Fucking knife

Whatever. Both.

3) According to the book of Dipshits, chapter 37, those who hoard their stash will burn at the hands of Jesus cocktwisting Christ himself. This is the word of the Lord.

4) Count em up: three visible bite marks, a black eye, arm's bandaged, thumbnail's turning black and blue. A good night's work, I'd fucking say.

5) Fucking dipshit geese don't even speak SPANISH.

3

[ultimatenegative]

This seems an unlikely scenario.

Firstly, Jesus had twelve apostles to do his cock twists for him, and was frequently far too preoccupied with finding stash hoarders to twist any cocks not his own. Which he did not need to twist, as (refer to the above) he had helpers.

Secondly, he was either crucified or cocktwisted to death. God knows which. (Literally! Figuratively! Metaphorically and possibly strategically!)

(Nothing about that deity's historic actions seems particularly strategic. That was incautiously optimistic of me.)

In any case, the Christ in question is dead as a doornail and will do no burning of stash hoarders.

Are you certain you're reading the Nuking James version of Dipshits?

(I don't have any, Darius, my dear. Threatening me with Old Testament retribution will not make white horses appear for you to ride upon.)

desmond gold | ouat au

[onefellswoop]

1) Now tell me: What do you think I awoke thinking about? 😌

2) Please. Text the right number. You've been sending me these all night.

3) I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee.' I have no grounds to dispute it.

4) He said fucking what? Unacceptable. Fucking unacceptable. I'll set him ablaze for you; then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

5) They were both lying half-submerged in the stream looking for 'ribberts,' which is apparently drunk for 'frogs.'

6) Moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone.

1 - 1/2

[honeystuff]

Bees as an indicator species?

[...]

How the mayor kinda dresses like a mayor would in a low end porno?

[...]

How the industrial revolution could be considered both the pinnacle of achievement by and downfall of society?

[...]

Dandelions?

rowan reynolds | ouat au

[withoutrhetoric]

1) How do you feel about ghost hunting?

2) Oh, I don’t know at all what it is you’re talking about!

[ … ]

Or do I? 😊

3) Was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriend's makeup after I fucked him? It's an academic question, mind you; I really don't care.

4) Lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it's okay because I was the fire marshal of my scout troupe. It didn't work at all. 😔

5) Who? Oh, no, I know the one. He still owes me a toothbrush.

6) They should know don’t TOUCH my scarf when I’m doing somersaults!

corbin st. clair | ouat au

[abitofbark]

1) sitting on the bathroom flor giving advice to everyone I am the bar czar!

2) I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.

3) Hey want some pixie stix?

[…]

Oh no

4) That's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

5) Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, help about the stairs

6) hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the river. He's wearing overall I don't know why

1

[abitofcoal]

Mr. St. Clair, it's clear to me that you've forgotten the conversation we had after I last represented you in court. That's all right. We can try again:

Please don't text me unless you require a lawyer.

Not from bars, not from cars, not from here or there, not from bathroom floors where anyone may have left fluids.

[...]

Should you be in a bar?

Does Ms. St. Clair know where you

I don't have the number for

Damn it. What's that kid's name